Thorny Flowers

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It has been a weekend of pain and suffering,
brought about by anger, violence and hatred.
Las Vegas. Edmonton. Marseille.
Before those, Charlottesville. London. Barcelona.
How can we keep on inflicting pain and suffering
on one another?

We humans are a sorry and messy lot.
We fail, we make mistakes – plenty of them –
and we keep on hurting one another.
Sure there are moments of joy and happiness
but these moments are always punctuated
by pain and sorrow, hurts and disappointments.
When one day we are all in heaven,
we will probably look back to these moments of
failures, mistakes and errors with much remorse and regret.
But it seems to me that pain and hurt and sufferings
are an essential part of what it is to be human.
We are created called to the Divine.
But evil is real and we often succumb to it.
I set my eyes to that which I know
I am being called to.
And of my present hurts and difficulties,
I calmly say that this too will pass away.

Impermanence makes goodness and beauty possible.
Pain and suffering will pass away.
We will forget most of it eventually.
Some will linger and even fester for some time.
Sometime, it main remain for a long time.
But I believe we were made for joy and peace and love.

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Something Small

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Sometimes, all it takes is something small to make something big happen.
A smile can lead to a lifetime together.
A handshake can seal a deal.
A reaching across can heal divisions.

In his book “Small is Beautiful”,
E.F. Schumacher wrote about what economics would be
if people really mattered.
He proposed, “Wisdom demands a new orientation of science and technology
towards the organic, the gentle, the non-violent, the elegant and beautiful.”

As it is, the modern world is organized
around ever increasing consumption that is not sustainable.
This mind-set of ever increasing consumption and materialism
gives rise to the thinking that
bigger is better and size matters.
It is the mind-set that gave rise to the one-sided bail-out of big financial institutions
(“too big to fail”) to the detriment of millions of small homeowners.


Schumacher also wrote, “Man is small, and, therefore, small is beautiful.”
Human health is maintained by small doses of essential micro nutrients.
The Big Bang that gave rise to the universe must have started with a tiny spark.
Today is the feast day of St. Therese of the Child Jesus.
She never left her convent and spent most of her life
doing seemingly small and insignificant things.
Yet, she is a Doctor of the Church and a patroness of the missions.
She tried to do small things in a grand fashion.

“Miss no single opportunity of making some small sacrifice, here by a smiling look, there by a kindly word; always doing the smallest right and doing it all for love.” 
― St. Thérèse de Lisieux

 

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Forbearance

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Goodness and kindness are not the monopoly of Christians nor of believers.
A sense of the sacred has been with man
since he first stood awe-struck in wonderment
at the presence of some ineffable mystery.
I try to imbibe all this goodness and kindness every day.
I start my day in silent prayer to feel and be aware of this sacred presence in my life.
But even as I am aware of the beauty and goodness around me,
the truth is that life is never completely satisfying.
Like there is a big ache in my heart right now
and I am looking for a quick and easy solution.
Easy solutions are often the wrong “answers”.
And I know they are not God’s way.
This ache will probably linger for a few days more
and then will come back every now and then for the rest of my life.
It might be resolved in a way I will not like nor even expect.
I just hope the pain and the hurt will not discourage
or totally frustrate me and the persons around me.
In my heart, I pray “In His time, He makes all things beautiful in his time.”

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My Father Is Here

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Today is the death anniversary of Tatang.
It is uncanny how the years has only made his presence in my life even stronger.
I can feel my father alive in me and my own sons.
His spirit. His moods. His talents. His wit and his mind. Even his mannerisms.
I remember and celebrate his life with love, gratitude
and happiness tinged with a certain amount of sadness.
Since he has been gone, I have grown to know, appreciate and love him even better.
I now understand his silences better:
like when the heart is so full with joy that words become superfluous;
or like when in the face of heated disagreements or deep hurts,
words could just cause more misunderstandings of deeper wounds.
I particularly remember his winsome smile:
disarming, child-like, reflective of an inner joy and pride
that was also tinged with a bit of melancholy.
His smile was his trademark which endeared him to people.
It reflected the joy and pride that were rightfully his for his achievements in life.
It was also came with a humility, sometimes much too self-negating,
since he was always aware of his humble beginnings in the barrio.
The melancholic tinge comes from his desire
that he could have done and given more to his family and loved ones.
Now, in being a father myself, I can feel the pain and aches,
the joys and triumphs that he must have felt as he brought us up.
Tatang, you are always remembered and even more deeply loved now.

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The Presence In My Life

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There is in every human being an abiding sense of awe and wonder.
We are always asking questions, specially why,
and forever seeking answers.
From my earliest recollections,
I have been trying to find out
what my life is supposed to be about.
Indeed, my life has been a journey of discovery and creations.
Sometimes, the journey has been easy and a breeze,
like a boat serenely sailing back home at the end of day.
There are times, it was difficult and stormy,
and my boat is like a piece of cork tossed upon a tempestuous sea.
I have cried in both joy and sorrow.
I have laughed often in sheer happiness
and sometimes in utter frustration.
There were times I have made of my life what I want it to be.
At other times, others helped me fashion out who I am.
And a few times, I have wondered what I have done with my life.
But always, every step of the way, my steps are led by a Presence –
sometimes tentatively,
at other times boldly,
but always to rhythm and tune of a melody
I seem to remember from eternity.

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A Paean To The Universe

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Everything that exists is in perpetual motion,
dancing to a certain rhythm
that is the pulse beat of the universe.
A cosmic symphony, if you will.
A glorious hymn to all that there is.
As the cosmic dance continues,
planets and comets collide,
stars and galaxies explode
and a wild riot of colors is painted
across the universe
from deep reds and purples,
to glorious yellows and oranges,
to subdued blues and greens,
to blinding whites.
Man looks up to the heavens
and captures it all in songs, poems and tales
about his cosmic roots and origins.

And on earth as in the heavens:
the towering mountains majestic in their grandeur,
the magnificent blue seas of roaring waves and soothing zephyr,
the fertile valleys washed by rivers to bear much fruit and flowers,
the beautiful creatures that feed on all this beauty and bounty.

And the ultimate thrill and beauty of all this
is that I meet the author
of all that beauty and grandeur every morning.
In a moment of prayer.

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One More Gift ~ PEACE!

During my younger years, one of my favorite ‘little’ books was Dag Hammarskjöld’s Markings. He died too soon and was in a plane crash on his way to the Congo to broker peace talks between rebels and their government. Almost immediately, people declared him ‘a secular saint’, impressive has been his life of dedication to service, integrity of character and a spirituality uncommon for men of his stature.

Today, he is again the news. Apparently, his plane crash was no accident, but ‘may have been caused by an aircraft attack’. The world situation has become even more precarious than it was during his time. He once said, “Our work for peace must begin within the private world of each one of us. To build for man a world without fear, we must be without fear. To build a world of justice, we must be just.”

Indeed, if there is one more gift he/I/we would ask of God. It would be peace on earth.

Here is one prayer from Markings, which to me is his cri de cœur:

Give me a pure heart that I may see Thee.
A humble heart that I may hear Thee,
A heart of love that I may serve Thee,
A heart of faith that I may abide in Thee.

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The Cost of Discipleship

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To hear the word of God and do it, to be Christ’s disciple is not easy.
Often, God would often would test us in the area where we think we are the strongest.
I have a priest friend whose special apostolate is marital counseling
and all his siblings had failed marriages.
I know a top-notch pulmonologist whose son died from an asthma attack
and he could not do enough to keep him alive.
There was an excellent doctor who was looked up to by young doctors,
referring difficult cases to her, but who died from the complications of childbirth.
And there was great irony in a cardiologist who died of a heart attack
in the midst of a cardiology convention
and the hundreds of heart specialists in attendance could not save him.
We are not in control. God is in control.

I pray for faith and trust to totally place my life
and the lives of my loved ones in the hands of God.

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To Be A Child. Again.

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To be a child is to wake up every morning, ready to play in the sun
To live the moment unencumbered by the pains of the past
and not burdened by the fears of the future.
And when the day is done, not to wish for the day to be any longer.
To be a child is to paint fields of flowers abloom in wild colors
and actually smelling their fragrance.
To be a child is not to see the differences that separate us
but the common joys that bind us all together.
To be a child is to be accepting of people and of who they are
and not to be looking for a catch in kindness.
To be a child is to laugh in total abandon at the silliest jokes
and cry buckets even at the smallest of hurts or the tiniest disappointments.
To be a child is to trust that Daddy will always catch you if you fall
and if you do fall, that Mommy will be there to kiss the awee away.
To be child is to dream, to believe,
to see the universe in a grain of sand and eternity in the wink of an eye,
to feel the hand of God in the sunlight,
and to know that life is meant for the living.

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Let There Be Peace

I am both a moment and an eternity.
I have but the present moment to call my very own.
In the wink of an eye it is gone, only to be replaced by another moment.
Yet, it is in this moment, that I have my joys, my pain, my being and my becoming.
I am also an eternity.
I carry in my present moment
everything I went through in the past, my heartaches, my happiness,
the lessons I learned and the regrets I carry.
I bring in the present moment
all my future dreams and hopes.
Past, present and future come together in me, here in this moment.
I may be just a moment in the reckoning of the universe
but the universe will never be the same again
because I once was here in this moment.

The present moment is best relished in peace and quiet.
Noise distracts and drives away the moment.
All the noise and the hurry is often driven by our fears, hatred and anger.
Own silence in the moment and one can master one’s fears; then there is peace.
One can drive away fears in the silence and then there is peace.
Only in the silence can one’s anger be tamed to achieve peace.

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