In My Life

Posted on March 13, 2014 by Spirit Moments

In my life, there has been nothing that I fervently prayed for that was not given to me; nothing that I sought that I did not find. I have knocked on many doors and I have been surprised and deeply grateful at how many of these have been opened to me in love, warm welcome and genuine hospitality.

I have prayed for a happy family and I have been truly blessed and gifted with my loving wife and children, and now with kind and lovely in-law-daughters and adorable grandchildren. I have sought a life of the spirit and of the intellect and I have been blessed with friends with similar aspiration; as well as with books, music and other resources to sustain and nurture that aspiration. I have come upon many doors which have been opened to me. Some of these I thought did not even exist and have brought me to events and experiences that I thought possible only in my wildest dreams.

My life has not entirely been a bed of roses for even roses have their thorns. There were mornings I woke up finding myself in tears, weeping and overwhelmed by the troubles that beset me. There were periods of time I spent in miserable depression not able to overcome the disappointments that came my way. But sooner than later, help comes often from the usual sources of my loved ones and sometimes from the most unexpected persons and places. To paraphrase a Sinatra favorite: Still in all, I’m happy and the reason now I see. For almost at every step along the way, the Lord has been good to me.

Lord, on the day I called for help, you answered me.

Jesus said to his disciples:
“Ask and it will be given to you;
seek and you will find;
knock and the door will be opened to you.
For everyone who asks, receives;
and the one who seeks, finds;
and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.
Which one of you would hand his son a stone when he asked for a loaf of bread,
or a snake when he asked for a fish?
If you then, who are wicked, know how to give good gifts to your children,
how much more will your heavenly Father give good things to those who ask him.
Do to others whatever you would have them do to you.
This is the law and the prophets.”
Matthew 7:7-12

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Repentance

Posted on March 12, 2014 by Spirit Moments

God gave me life and placed me in the middle of a garden He created called Earth. I did nothing to deserve such awesome and infinite love. With a grateful heart, I want to sing praises to Him. I want to change and make better this place he has put me in and everything and everyone in it. But that task is too enormous for finite me.

What I realize is that I can change only myself. For all the goodness that God has given me, I know that I am imperfect, incomplete, given to errors and mistake, conceived and born in sin. The reality is I can change nothing and no one but myself. All the great saints knew they were great sinners and lived their lives in constant and continuous repentance of their sins: St. Peter, St. Augustine of Hippo, St Francis of Assisi, St. Ignatius of Loyola, Mother Teresa of Calcutta. Their sins were always before them, even when they have become changed persons.

When I repent and acknowledge my sinfulness, I have taken the first step to changing myself. Acknowledging my sinfulness and unworthiness, I slowly uncover my true worth and value. And slowly I come to a fulness of life. In changing myself, I change the world around me, including people who would allow me into their lives.

“Lord be merciful to me, a sinner. A heart contrite and humbled, O God, you will not spurn.”

While still more people gathered in the crowd, Jesus said to them,
“This generation is an evil generation;
it seeks a sign, but no sign will be given it,
except the sign of Jonah.
Just as Jonah became a sign to the Ninevites,
so will the Son of Man be to this generation.
Luke 11:29-32

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No Less Than The Trees And The Stars

Posted on March 11, 2014 by Spirit Moments

Is it just human folly to think I am the center of the universe? For the longest time, men thought the universe revolved around the earth, and, by extension, around man. We now realize we are but a small planet revolving around an average star at a far corner of the universe. And our sun is just one among countless stars. Our galaxy, the Milky Way, is just one among billions with each galaxy populated by at least a billion stars each. Given these huge numbers, the probability of other living, sentient and intelligent beings is indeed very high. Man is a tiny, almost an invisible speck, in this great scheme, a fleeting presence. It seems highly improbable that we are alone in the universe.

And yet, I can’t help but be amazed and awed by the mere fact that I am here. I was not born until everything needed for me to be alive and be born were in place: the stars, the moon and the sun; the earth, the plants, the animals and a livable environment; my country, my people and my parents. It took some billions of years to get everything and everyone ready for my coming. And it will take some more billions of years before my presence in the universe is finally worked out and come to a resolution. The smallest of objects in the universe (a quark) and the biggest (a quasar), I stand right in the middle in size within that range. That places me right smack in the center/middle of the time continuum and of the size/space continuum. Am I special or am I especial?

I wake up each day, always gifted with another day of life. I work and labor to be alive but everything I need to be alive is within my reach: the air that I breath, the water that I drink, the plants and animals that I eat, the people whom I live with. Is it folly therefore to believe and trust in the care of a heavenly Father who knows what I need even before I ask Him? Is it vanity to sing Him praises for creating the universe for me to eventually come into it? Is it pure wishful thinking on my part that He has revealed Himself to me through His son Jesus Christ who taught me about God’s fatherhood over us all? He also taught us how to pray to Our Father in words that have gone down to us through the generations.

Jesus said to his disciples:
“In praying, do not babble like the pagans,
who think that they will be heard because of their many words.
Do not be like them.
Your Father knows what you need before you ask him.”

“This is how you are to pray:

Our Father who art in heaven,
hallowed be thy name,
thy Kingdom come,
thy will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread;
and forgive us our trespasses,
as we forgive those who trespass against us;
and lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil.
Matthew 6:7-15

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Being Good Is Doing Good

Posted on March 10, 2014 by Spirit Moments

For a long time, I understood being good as avoiding doing bad and evil things: thou shall not steal; thou shall not kill; thou shall not commit adultery; thou shall not bear false witness. I am not a thief nor a plunderer; neither am I a murderer nor an adulterer; and I am not a perjurer nor a big-time crook. But I know deep inside, I am not a good nor a perfect person. After a while, my trying to be good became a practice in nitpicking. When I bring home extra napkins from a restaurant, is that stealing? When I hurt another person, at what point of the pain that I cause does my action become a sin? What if the other person is just plainly too sensitive, imagining hurt and harm where there are none? If I enjoy looking a pictures of beautiful girls, is that a sin?

But listening and learning from Jesus, I have realized that being good is more than just avoiding doing evil. It is actually doing good things for other people. At Judgement Day, my goodness and fidelity to Him shall not be measured against the commandments of ‘Thou-shall-not’ but by the good I have done for others: did I feed the hunger, slake the thirst of those who are thirsty, welcome the stranger, clothe the naked, care for the sick and the needy, console the lonely, visit those in prison or in hospitals?

I do these acts of charity because this is Christ’s great commandment of Love. And when I do so, I do not only follow Christ but I am actually doing these for Him. A deeper spirituality it is when I see Christ in the people I love and serve and do good things to. I pray that I see Christ in my life. He has given me the assurance that when I do these good deeds to others, I am actually doing them for Him and encountering Him in them. I need to mull on this thought and let in sink deep in me until I truly and fully realize its truth and what it means in my life.

“Lord, help me see you in the people you send into my life. Let me see you in their neediness, loneliness and hunger. Give me a generous spirit to give them the love you have shown us.”

Then the king will say to those on his right,
‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father.
Inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world.
For I was hungry and you gave me food,
I was thirsty and you gave me drink,
a stranger and you welcomed me,
naked and you clothed me,
ill and you cared for me,
in prison and you visited me.’
Then the righteous will answer him and say,
‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you,
or thirsty and give you drink?
When did we see you a stranger and welcome you,
or naked and clothe you?
When did we see you ill or in prison, and visit you?’
And the king will say to them in reply,
‘Amen, I say to you, whatever you did
for one of these least brothers of mine, you did for me.’
Matthew 25:34-40

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A Day In My Life

Posted on March 9, 2014 by Spirit Moments

Image

Yesterday, we visited Joe for the last time.
We went to his funeral mass.
I remember him guitar in hand, singing his songs
with a coterie of young children trailing behind him.
He brought joy and happiness wherever he went.
We, his classmates, fancied ourselves as would be philosophers,
and conducted fancy discussions about life and its meaning.
Joe simply lived the life we were philosophizing about
and made people happy with his songs.
The people he left behind – Sylvia, the family, the many friends –
were thankful for such happy and melodious moments.

We drove to Joe’s funeral mass with Edwin and Jijing.
On the way there, Edwin was telling me about his health issues.
And he had a lot; he was once diagnosed with sarcoma.
But these have not tied him down.
He spends more time thinking of projects he can do to benefit others.
He is very good at putting people together.
He has a great talent for keeping people in touch with one another.
He has formed and nurtured a community of brothers over time and space.

At Joe’s funeral mass, we met up with Rai and Ped.
To describe Rai as a character is an understatement.
A sexagenarian, he still competes in brutal martial arts tournaments.
Ped and their children try endlessly to dissuade him – to no avail.
But beneath all the physical challenges he puts his body through,
there is a great spirit in Rai that is wants to be expressed.
Through discipline and self-denial, Rai chisels out at his body,
to liberate the spirit within him.

In the evening, we met up with Rogel and his new bride Riza.
Five years ago, Rogels world simply crumbled when he was widowed.
A lively person, in the prime of his life, had the one person
who gave him happiness taken away from him.
Devastated, he lived a very lonely life all these years.
And then Riza comes into his life and it is as if
somebody turned on the all the lights again in his life.
What a difference a person makes in another person’s life.
Rogel is today celebrating life and its joys as he has always had for most of his life.

What a difference a day makes?
Yesterday was a deeply gratifying and fulfilling day  for me.
It had nothing to do with wealth, power nor fame.
There was a time in my life I quested for these like crazy.
Today, wealth for me is the wealth in friends and people
who make my life rich beyond what money can buy.
Power is the strength I share with friends and family
to change lives and create joy and meaning
whatever the circumstances.
Fame is the joy in being with people I can sing songs with,
do good projects with for others,
free the great spirit among us,
and share with one another all and any joy,
in whatever form and circumstances it may come.

Jesus was led by the Spirit into the desert to be tempted by the devil.
He fasted for forty days and forty nights, and afterwards he was hungry.
The tempter approached and said to him,
“If you are the Son of God,  command that these stones become loaves of bread.”
He said in reply, “It is written:
One does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes forth from the mouth of God.”
Matthew 4:1-4

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Salvation Even For Tax Collectors

Posted on March 8, 2014 by Spirit Moments

Taxes are an essential element when people live together in communities. They are as old as history and as certain as death. They are necessary to pay for common needs and services of the community as well as to provide for those who are disadvantaged and handicapped. Necessary as they are, taxes are also a fertile breeding ground for graft and corruption. From one who is given much, much is expected in return. A progressive tax system would impose a bigger and higher levy on those who have amassed more wealth. But it is so hard for those with wealth to part with it just like that. There are those who would rather cheat or bribe or lie to avoid paying their fair share of taxes.

The greater temptation often lies with those who collect the taxes. Throughout history, tax collectors have been a hated lot. The good ones who implement the tax laws are often seen as mean and cruel, uncompromising in their efforts at collections. The bad ones would enrich themselves by taking bribes or keeping a part of their tax collections for themselves.

The call of Jesus for a tax collector to follow him is an inspired choice. At one time, Jesus had said to render to Caesar, the things that are Caesar’s. I believe He meant for people to pay for their fair share in the expenses of running a community. He was also aware that tax collectors are a hated and often a sinful lot. It is an inspiring and consoling thought that Christ came not to call the righteous to repentance but sinners.Christ can sanctify even a hated tax collector.

If everyone were a saint, there would not have been a need for the Christ. I know I am not perfect. I am full of shortcomings. There is a lot in me that needs mending. It is an overwhelming thought that Christ came to sanctify me and bring me to the fullness of life.

“Lord, have mercy on me for I am a sinful man.”

Jesus saw a tax collector named Levi sitting at the customs post.
He said to him, “Follow me.”
And leaving everything behind, he got up and followed him.

The Pharisees and their scribes complained to his disciples, saying,
“Why do you eat and drink with tax collectors and sinners?”
Jesus said to them in reply,
“Those who are healthy do not need a physician, but the sick do.
I have not come to call the righteous to repentance but sinners.”
Luke 5:27-32

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Authentic Fasting

Posted on March 7, 2014 by Spirit Moments

The whole is greater than the sum of its parts. I am more than just my physical body. Science has pretty much documented our bodily functions, including how thoughts are created in the human brain. But science stops there. How do you explain scientifically man’s imagination? Or his will and capacity to do good? Or his striving to become more and be better? This reality can only be explained by the truth that man has a soul, a non-physical spirit that animates what the physical body does. The spirit is the software in man that runs the hardware that is his body.

And here is another paradox. The body has to be disciplined in order to free the soul. Excessive food is gluttony and too much food brings about many diseases to the body. Always taking the path of least resistance and general lethargy is sloth. Such inactivity validates the law of nature that what I do not use, I lose. Muscles I do not use, soon enough will atrophy. Greed, envy and selfishness lead to a desire and the amassing of material possession. Such acquisitiveness soon enough give rise to oppression and abuse of others and the environment.

Fasting is a way of disciplining the body to liberate the soul. Just as physical exercise tones and strengthens the body. Fasting is life a spiritual exercise that strengthens the soul. The ancients, who were more accustomed to a difficult life, seem to have a deeper understanding and appreciation of the value of fasting. Fasting is not only the denying the body physical pleasures but it is also disciplining it by doing good by and for others. Here is what the Lord told his People Israel what true fasting should be:
“Is this the manner of fasting I wish,
of keeping a day of penance:
That a man bow his head like a reed
and lie in sackcloth and ashes?
Do you call this a fast,
a day acceptable to the LORD?
This, rather, is the fasting that I wish:
releasing those bound unjustly,
untying the thongs of the yoke;
Setting free the oppressed,
breaking every yoke;
Sharing your bread with the hungry,
sheltering the oppressed and the homeless;
Clothing the naked when you see them,
and not turning your back on your own.
Then your light shall break forth like the dawn,
and your wound shall quickly be healed;
Your vindication shall go before you,
and the glory of the LORD shall be your rear guard.
Then you shall call, and the LORD will answer,
you shall cry for help, and he will say: Here I am!”
Isaiah 18:1-9

My sacrifice, O God, is a contrite spirit;
a heart contrite and humbled, O God, you will not spurn.

The disciples of John approached Jesus and said,
“Why do we and the Pharisees fast much,
but your disciples do not fast?”
Jesus answered them, “Can the wedding guests mourn
as long as the bridegroom is with them?
The days will come when the bridegroom is taken away from them,
and then they will fast.”
Matthew 9:14-15

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Surpises and Contradicitons

Posted on March 6, 2014 by Spirit Moments

Life is full of surprises and contradictions. I have come a long way from the small town of Angeles where I grew up to be living in San Jose California now. My journey has been full of surprises. As a young child in Angeles, I could not have imagined where life would eventually lead me. And now that I am here in San Jose, I still find it difficult to believe how I got here. Through every step of the way though, I have always felt a certain presence guiding me.

And the contradictions are just as plentiful as the surprises. In fact, many of the surprises come when I face the contradictions in my life head on. One of our deepest needs as human being is the need to love and be loved. And love is the one experience and emotion that is so full of contradictions. The first step to loving is to realize my inherent uselessness. The world, to be frank, does not need me. But to experience being loved in spite of my uselessness is to realize that I have also an inherent value deeper than my inherent uselessness. That value is the goodness and beauty and truth that is in everyone of us. It is only by stripping away all the accretions we acquire in life that we reach and touch our inner core of being essentially lovable.

And with this realization, I begin to see the contradictions begin springing forth surprises. It is in dying to my old self, that a new me emerges. I do not demand to be loved. I love first and then I am loved in return. It is in the giving of love that I receive it. It is in putting myself last and the others first that I become first in their lives. For indeed how can I find happiness in acquiring everything I desire when that would mean denying these of others? It is in denying myself that I have something to give others and in the giving, be surprised at the bountiful generosity there is in life and in others.

“Lord, help me take up my cross daily not because I enjoy pain and suffering but because it is that crossroad where I meet my fellowmen in our common humanity.”

Jesus said to his disciples:
“If anyone wishes to come after me, he must deny himself
and take up his cross daily and follow me.
For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it,
but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it.
What profit is there for one to gain the whole world
yet lose or forfeit himself?”
Luke 9:22-25

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My Lenten Journey

Posted on March 5, 2014 by Spirit Moments

In Evangelii Gaudium, Pope Franics reminded us that “Being a Christian is not the result of an ethical choice or a lofty idea, but the encounter with an event, a person, which gives life a new horizon and a decisive direction.”

Too often, I have approached my faith and spiritual life in a very intellectual manner, seeking to put reason, logic and meaning to what I believe in. Faith is first and foremost an encounter with God, an momentous event that gives my life a new horizon, a decisive direction and brings me up to a higher level of existence. It is not about meaning but about presence. It is not about reason but simply being. But here I go again – intellectualizing.

Today is Ash Wednesday, the start of Lent. I will not try to intellectualize and rationalize but just feel and do the long-held practices of the Church during this period. I will seriously do my prayers, fasting and almsgiving and in the process just feel and relish the Divine Presence in my life.

I will fast regularly to feel the deprivation of my senses and deaden them against the inordinate desires of my flesh. I will starve myself of food to rid my body of its gluttony, selfishness, lust, anger, envy and pride. I will deny myself of those things that give me great physical pleasure I may awaken in me a deeper longing for things spiritual.

I will focus on giving up instead of taking. I will give up the blandishments the world seduces me with and I will give my time, talent and treasure and put these in the service of the other. I will shift my mind set from “What is in it for me?” to “How can I be of service to you?” I will do my almsgiving anonymously.

I will prayer longer and more often so that I will feel God’s presence more deeply  in my life and how I am totally dependent on Him and His boundless mercy. I will deny the devil any space in my life. I will offer and dedicate my life to God alone.

“Lord, gather me together during this Lenten period. Make me whole and holy as I celebrate your Presence in my life.”

Jesus said to his disciples:
“Take care not to perform righteous deeds
in order that people may see them;
otherwise, you will have no recompense from your heavenly Father.

When you give alms,
do not let your left hand know what your right is doing,
so that your almsgiving may be secret.
And your Father who sees in secret will repay you.

When you pray, go to your inner room,
close the door, and pray to your Father in secret.
And your Father who sees in secret will repay you.

When you fast,
anoint your head and wash your face,
so that you may not appear to be fasting,
except to your Father who is hidden.
And your Father who sees what is hidden will repay you.”
Matthew 6: 1-6,16-18

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The Fullness of Life

Posted on March 4, 2014 by Spirit Moments

Life is good and it is great to be alive. Man’s deepest yearning is to remain alive, to live life in its fullness, to live forever. Man’s greatest fears are those that would deny him this fullness of life. Like pain, suffering, sickness and death. We constantly strive to do away with pain and suffering. We create things and events to give us joy and happiness. We go to great lengths to stay healthy and keep sickness and death at bay.

Jesus came that we may have life and have it in its fullness. He did not take away pain or suffering or sickness or even death. But He transformed these experiences to become parts of our journey to the fullness of life. Pain and suffering are not be desired but should not be avoided either. For, they serve to make our joy and happiness even more exquisite. He did not take away sickness for it shows us the fragility of life and our total dependence on His grace to make that life sturdy and robust. He did not take away death but He showed us that it is the portal we must all pass through to finally join Him in complete union with Him and the Father and the Spirit for all time.

That looks like a pretty good deal when Peter asked the Lord, “What’s in it for us who have left everything and followed you?” Everything that I long for in my life, in exchange for my life.

“Lord, show me how to give up my life for you so that you can transform it and I can receive it back from you in all its fullness.”

Peter began to say to Jesus,
“We have given up everything and followed you.”
Jesus said, “Amen, I say to you,
there is no one who has given up house or brothers or sisters
or mother or father or children or lands
for my sake and for the sake of the Gospel
who will not receive a hundred times more now in this present age:
houses and brothers and sisters
and mothers and children and lands,
with persecutions, and eternal life in the age to come.”
Mark 10:28-31

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