Languages of Love

Posted on May 23, 2014 by Spirit Moments

I can be very dense sometimes. I often miss what others are telling me specially when I fail to see or read between the lines. I am disappointed when I don’t feel loved just because the other does not love me in the way I want to be loved. Love is about communication and love can be communicated in many way other than words.

May 21 was truly a day of love for me and Anabelle. We received so many words of affirmation from friends and family, we were simply overwhelmed. The best and easiest way to show love is to say it. Anabelle has always treasured the long love letters I write her. We say “I love you” to each other every day, several times during the day, before we go to bed, upon waking up in the morning, when we are tired and weary, when we are relaxing and taking things easy, when we are mad and angry at each other, when we feel like we could not live without each other, and yes even when we feel like we could not live with each other.

Acts of service are also another wonderful way of saying “I love you” It may be something simple like driving Jane and Jonathan to and from school. Or doing the laundry. Anabelle is such a hard-working and industrious wife, mother and lola, she spends hours cleaning, cooking, picking up and putting things in order – all acts of loving service. She literally has worked herself to the bones even the FBI has difficulties getting prints off her fingers.

Love is also receiving gifts, specially if they are surprises and unexpected. She surprised me with an anniversary gift this year that has genuinely saved my butt. I remember the years she was teaching when I would send her flowers at every school opening. I started with one rose on her first year in the Ateneo and I kept adding one rose every year thereafter.  On the last year of her teaching, the bouquet I sent her had three dozen roses.

For me, the most beautiful and poignant way to say “I love you” is quality time. Presence says it all. To share the joys and the tears, to feel the sadness and the happiness of the loved one, I have to be present for her. I have to be there. I love being there to show my love. And I love my loved ones to be here to feel their love. A poem I loved from my youth went: “You do nothing. You say nothing. You only stay.”

Presence is best felt and truly treasured when accompanied by physical touch. I am a ‘touchy’ person. I love touch and I love to touch. A kiss, a hug, a warm embrace can make all the difference between a delightful day and a dreary one. A touch can soothe any pain and a touch is a sure sign of the presence of loved ones.

God speaks His own language of love. I see the beauty and awesomeness in nature and how can I not hear the voice of God or at the very least feel His presence. My life unfolds in the most unexpectedly blessed manner and how can I fail to see that God is speaking to me. Yes, me! And He took on flesh to speak our own languages of love. He spoke to us words of affirmation. He showed us acts of service. He spent quality time with us. He touched people and allowed Himself to be touched by them. And then He gave us the supreme gift of laying down His life for His friends – us.

I will give you thanks among the peoples, O Lord.

Jesus said to his disciples:
“This is my commandment: love one another as I love you.
No one has greater love than this,
to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.
You are my friends if you do what I command you.
It was not you who chose me, but I who chose you
and appointed you to go and bear fruit that will remain,
so that whatever you ask the Father in my name he may give you.
This I command you: love one another.”
John 15:12-17

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Circles of Love

Posted on May 22, 2014 by Spirit Moments

Our wedding anniversary yesterday was quiet.
It was just another ordinary day.
Like, we spent most of the afternoon catching up on sleep.
But it was loud and busy on social media.
Throughout the day and through out the world,
we got greetings and wishes from friends and family all over:
friends who have become loving family,
family who have become dear friends.

As the day unfolded, I felt the warmth and the caring
from the circles of love that enfolded me.
In the center was God, the source of all the love and blessings in our lives.
The first circle in the concentricity is Bilog.

Then there are the circles of families we love.
Families from which we came and with whom we grew up.
The family we lovingly raised.
New families who have joined ours in love.
Families we have lost track of and now are in touch again.

Then there are the many circles of friends in our lives.
There are the circles of friends we made growing up and going to school.
There are the circles of friends we met in the various work places we have been engaged.
There are the circle of friends we serendipitously encountered in our life journey.
There are the circle of friends we came to know, deeply, in our Spirit communities.
There are the circle of friends with whom we have found common cause.
There are the friends who have touched our live so deeply
we cannot imagine life without them.

The circles are like ripples in a pond moving outward in ever widening circles.
For the love that we share is meant to be given and shared.
Joys are shared across these concentric circles
and they are multiplied and become even more delightful.
Sorrows are shared across these circles
and they become divided and easier to bear.
Important events are celebrated across time and space
making them even more memorable.

The circles, while constantly rippling across and outwards,
are bound together like a web by the power of love.
So that, touch one circle and the touch reverberates across the other circles.
When we are sad, we feel comforted by the web of love that the circles are.
When we are happy, as yesterday, our joy does not easily dissipate
but abides for as long as the circles are there.

We thank God for the circles of love in our lives.
We thank Him for the people who are the links in there circles.
We thank Him for the love that has been the source of our abiding joy and happiness.

Proclaim God’s marvelous deeds to all the nations.

Jesus said to his disciples:
“As the Father loves me, so I also love you.
Remain in my love.
If you keep my commandments, you will remain in my love,
just as I have kept my Father’s commandments
and remain in his love.
I have told you this so that
my joy might be in you and
your joy might be complete.”
John 15:9-11

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Thanking God for 39 Years

Posted on May 21, 2014 by Spirit Moments

Today is our 39th wedding anniversary. We have known each other for 44 years and have been married for 39 now. Every morning that breaks, I whisper a prayer of gratitude to God for bringing Anabelle into my life.

We have each pursued our own career, both fulfilling beyond measure. We have common friends but we also each have our own set of friends, all of whom have brought us great joy and happiness. We remain as different in many things and do many things differently. We have each remained our own persons.

And yet they are things we hold dearly in common that bind us together very tightly. The most important of these is the fact that we have shared a life in the Spirit together. We have grown spiritually together with some precious friends. In our social and community involvements, we have often worked as a team: in the streets, in service to others, in prayers, in hosting and visiting friends and family, in raising our three wonderful sons, in nurturing our growing family. We have been a trinity in our love: Anabelle, myself, and God.

Let us go rejoicing to the house of the Lord.

Jesus said to his disciples:
I am the vine, you are the branches.
Whoever remains in me and I in him will bear much fruit,
because without me you can do nothing.
If you remain in me and my words remain in you,
ask for whatever you want and it will be done for you.
John 15:1-8

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Peace on Earth

Posted on May 20, 2014 by Spirit Moments

The kidnapping of about two hundred young innocent girl in Nigeria reflects the lack of peace in the world today. There is unending strife in the Middle East. There are simmering tensions in the Southeast Asia. Everywhere, millions are worried and anxious where to sleep for the night for they are homeless or how to get their next meal for they are hungry. Almost everyone is afraid and uneasy about random violence or worse targeted acts of terror happening to them. The world needs and longs for peace. And yet, there is no peace.

There is no peace because people would not forgive but keep on harboring deep-seated anger and hatred. There is no peace because of lust that makes people do violence on others for their personal pleasure and gratification. There is no peace because of greed that drives people to hoard for themselves more than what they need of the earth’s riches and in the process denying these to others who need them. There is no peace because of pride and arrogance that make people think they are better than others and would treat people as their inferiors.

True peace comes from the cross, from where Christ gave love and forgiveness even in His utter emptiness. True peace comes from the giving of one’s life for others and not from taking it from others. Anabelle and I watched the movie “Million Dollar Arm” last night. As we were watching, I was thinking: Life is not about making money or making a career but about making other people happy and making love. And so is peace. Life is not about having material possessions and amassing them but about having friends and having fun with friends. And so is peace.

Your friends make known, O Lord, the glorious splendor of your kingdom.

Jesus said to his disciples:
“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you.
Not as the world gives do I give it to you.
Do not let your hearts be troubled or afraid.
John 14:27-31

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Recognizing God’s Loving Presence

Posted on May 19, 2014 by Spirit Moments

We went out biking as a family yesterday afternoon: a young couple and their two young children with two grandparents tagging along. Nothing really extraordinary, nothing earth-shaking nor game changing.  Yet, I saw God’s hand as the love and the care that made our family possible was silently and without notice being passed on from one generation to the next. Martin and Kathleen, celebrating a beautiful love that that has given birth to Jonathan and Jane who simply basked in the attention and nurturing of their parents as they tested their physical skills and stamina on their bikes. Anabelle and I were contented to just watch from the sidelines, relishing the moments with them and whispering endless sighs of joys and deep gratitude.

I have been in many such situations where the event or the scene just all of a sudden overwhelmed me and I felt God’s presence. I have likewise been blessed with people in my life who have been God’s angels (literally, messengers) of what He wanted me to see, hear and learn: a best friend who taught me what it means to give one’s all in love and service to family and community; a dear friend who taught me commitment by putting aside her personal needs for the sake of her siblings and then still had time and determination to serve God really full time; a spiritual mentor who taught that everything is gift; an esteemed leader who inspired and was able to draw out the best in me; a beloved friend who taught me that friendship is all about presence, a presence that could not be contained by time nor space. And if I still pay closer attention, God is present in a touch freely given, in an embrace lovingly shared, in laughter joyfully echoing through a gathering, even in tears that are shed in compassion and love.

Sometimes, I wonder if I am also God’s messenger to others. Do I show in my life and actions God’s loving presence? Or do I care more about the affirmation I receive than the number of people I am able to help and serve?

Not to us, O Lord, but to your name give the glory.

Jesus answered and said to him,
“Whoever loves me will keep my word,
and my Father will love him,
and we will come to him and make our dwelling with him.
Whoever does not love me does not keep my words;
yet the word you hear is not mine
but that of the Father who sent me.
I have told you this while I am with you.
The Advocate, the Holy Spirit
whom the Father will send in my name
he will teach you everything
and remind you of all that I told you.”
John 14:21-24

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Finding My Way, Seeking My Truth and Living My Life

Posted on May 18, 2014 by Spirit Moments

Image

My life has been a journey.
And I have tried to keep to the straight and narrow path.
But the paths I have taken have often not hewn to the straight and narrow.

My way has taken me to places and situations that have been anything but straight.
It has been a long way away from home that was Angeles.
I left my hometown at ten years old and have been and seen places I never dreamed of.
I now live thousands of miles away from where I started
with people who are very dear to me I had no idea about when I was ten.

I have traveled my way through times and events that are neither narrow nor easy.
In my teens and early twenties, I was busy seeking and creating.
Finding myself and creating the person I wanted to be.
Finding a career, creating a name and a brand, starting my family.
My late twenties and thirties were years of building.
Building a home, building a reputation, building for the future.
My forties were times of contributing and giving
Making a difference, making a contribution and making the earth a better place.
My fifties were years where I was tasked to lead, to change and to dare.
I was involved in mergers, acquisitions, organizational development, managing change.
At sixty, I was at a heady high of accomplishment and all too soon it was all over

I started out teaching, helping shape and mold young boys.
And then I made a radical shift to detailing and pushing drugs to doctors.
But I still managed to teach on the side.
Then, I tried my hand at gathering, processing and disseminating medical information.
Then, I was challenged to manage the delivery of healthcare services.
Then, I was consulted to help health organizations and medical institutions
become more effective and efficient in achieving their goals.
Then, it was all over.

All along the way there was one truth that kept coming back to me.
There is a certain Presence that was showing my the way.
Everything that happened to me, many unexpected and beyond expectations,
was a gift from that Presence that was my guide.
The truth is I did not deserve any of the things that came my way:
My life, my talents, the opportunities, the people who gave me love and support,
the people who inspired me and molded me,
the situations that showed me what I could do,
the events that bought out the best in me.
And yet these gifts have been heaped on me, full to the brim and overflowing.
These are the truths in my life.

And my life has been much richer and much fuller
than I could have ever imagined as a boy of ten from Angeles.
Because of all the love I have been given, I want to give back even more than I received.
Because of all the blessings in my life, I want and try to be a blessing to others.
Because my cup of life is running over, I want to share this cup with as many as I can.
Because I have enjoyed God’s love and mercy, this I want to be to others too.
This is how I want to live my life.

Lord, let your mercy be on us, as we place our trust in you.

Thomas said to him,
“Master, we do not know where you are going;
how can we know the way?”
Jesus said to him, “I am the way and the truth and the life.
No one comes to the Father except through me.
If you know me, then you will also know my Father.
From now on you do know him and have seen him.”
John 14:1-7

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Changes and Changelessness

Posted on May 17, 2014 by Spirit Moments

Life is constant change yet the more things change the more they stay they same.

I have changed and have seen a lot of changes in and during my life. Some changes are but a blur. Like, technology gets a complete makeover every 18 months (Moore’s Law). Some changes are slower in happening but just as world-changing and even cataclysmic like climate change where there are severe droughts in some places and devastating floods in others.  I myself have changed. I have been to places, seen events and met people that have touched me and changed my life forever: most for the better because of the memories they left me, and others for the lessons they taught me.

And yet through all the changes, I have remained the same. The issues I have struggled with as a young man are still with me. I still wonder if I am doing the right things. The right things I believe in still seem to elude me. I still struggle to curb my pride, tame my sensuousness and lust, rein in my greed and selfishness. I confess and own up to the same sins today as when I was younger. On the positive side, I am still a romantic and an idealist. I still love to soar in flights of fancy dwelling in a world of ideas and ideals. I am still driven to be of service where I am needed. And I love giving love whenever, wherever and to whomever I can.

If life were a balance sheet (and I know it is not), there would be more credits than debits in mine and my net worth would be positive. But life is not about keeping scores. It is about keeping things in balance and not losing perspective. Prayer time is time for keeping this perspective properly aligned and keeping my balance in this ever-changing yet unchanging world I live in.

Sing to the LORD a new song, for he has done wondrous deeds;

Philip said to Jesus,
“Master, show us the Father, and that will be enough for us.”
Jesus said to him, “Have I been with you for so long a time
and you still do not know me, Philip?
Whoever has seen me has seen the Father.
How can you say, ‘Show us the Father’?
Do you not believe that I am in the Father and the Father is in me?
The words that I speak to you I do not speak on my own.
The Father who dwells in me is doing his works.
Believe me that I am in the Father and the Father is in me,
or else, believe because of the works themselves.”
John 14:7-11

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How Will It All Finally End?

Posted on May 16, 2014 by Spirit Moments

Most of my life, I was concerned with building, creating, making new and making better. These days I often think about the end, of winding down, of leaving this life and going someplace of which I have no real knowledge. I am not afraid of death for I know it will eventually come. I am worried and afraid of how I will eventually go. I am not afraid of pain. I will find ways to bear it. I do not want to be a burden to others, for them to seem me suffer or to be treated with sufferance when I have finally become a doddering, senile old man with dementia. I am worried of the bills I may incur in my old age.

I find solace and consolation in my prayer time, clinging on to the words and promises of God. They calm me down and they give me a positive perspective on how to face my life these days. But there are days when I am beset by doubts and wonder whether I am just engaging in wishful thinking, that these are the things I want to see but will not happen in reality. I live in a secular society which denies or does not believe what I hold dear and true. Yet, there are many people whom I respect and esteem highly that affirm what I do and what I believe in.

My whole life has been happy and beautiful. I have loved deeply and have been loved dearly. I have touched a lot of hearts and have been likewise influenced and changed by many wonderful people. I have managed events that have inspired and pleased people and I have participated in activities that have left inspired, happy and fulfilled. If only for all of these, I can leave this life with no regrets even if nothing comes afterwards. But still, there is this yearning in me that longs to live forever. Is it a just a yearning or a real sign of what is to come?

The LORD said to me, “You are my Son; this day I have begotten you.”

Jesus said to his disciples:
“Do not let your hearts be troubled.
You have faith in God; have faith also in me.
In my Father’s house there are many dwelling places.
If there were not, would I have told you that I am going to prepare a place for you?
And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back again and take you to myself,
so that where I am you also may be. Where I am going you know the way.”
Thomas said to him,
“Master, we do not know where you are going; how can we know the way?”
Jesus said to him, “I am the way and the truth and the life.
No one comes to the Father except through me.”
John 14:1-6

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Life Choices

Posted on May 15, 2014 by Spirit Moments

Life is a series of choices. While I may not have had a choice in being born, everything else after my birth has been a matter of choice. Even when I do nothing, that is still a choice. There may have been choices I have been forced into. Still it was my choice to be coerced. There were choices I made without any serious thought. Still they were choices as I could have done otherwise. Some choices are trivial. Some are life changing. Some choices I tend to make spontaneously. Others I tend to make due to my past conditioning. Still others I mull over for a while and take time in deciding.

One of the most important choices I have had to make is whether to live life for myself or for others. There were times of weakness and selfishness when I looked out for Number One. I may have been conditioned by my past, the environment I have been in and the people around me; but my basic option has always been love and service for others. I have tried to live that basic option with a preferential bias for the poor. I have not always succeeded.

I am thankful for my choice to spend my life in teaching. I am inspired and humbled by the many lives I have touched in the classroom, both in the classroom of a school and the classroom of life.  I have learned that education is a right of all human beings and not a privilege of a few. I must have done something good. I am thankful that I have pursued careers involved in health and healthcare. I am more appreciative of life and awed by the inherent healing power of the human body. In the processes of health, I see the awesomeness of God to have designed such an organism as a human person. I have learned that health is a right of all human beings and not a privilege of only those who can pay. I must have contributed to save some lives and make them better. I am thankful of my social involvement in service and care for others. I have been involved in some worthy causes that will survive long after I am gone. I have learned that no man is an island that we need one another. I must have helped in bringing about some meaningful social changes.

For ever I will sing the goodness of the Lord.

When Jesus had washed the disciples’ feet, he said to them:
“Amen, amen, I say to you, no slave is greater than his master
nor any messenger greater than the one who sent him.
If you understand this, blessed are you if you do it.”
John 13:16-17

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Love Incarnations

Posted on May 14, 2014 by Spirit Moments

Love in today’s popular culture is often portrayed as the romance between two persons, with a strong focus on its physical and sexual manifestations. Love is richer and deeper than just the romance or the physical or the sexual. I have met many people and have gone through many experiences that show me love is more than these.

Ping became my best friend as I was leaving the seminary. We started off on the wrong footing. I dissed him once on the way he played the organ during mass and, for a music-person, that must have really hurt. He did not allow that comment to fester nor did he allow it to get in the way of our becoming very good friends. We eventually became very close, our thoughts and minds seemed to be in perfect sync with each other. We could anticipate word for word what the other was going to say. People often mistook us for brothers. He has chosen to remain single and has served as surrogate father to his many nephews and nieces, making him the ‘Tito ng Bayan’. And now he is playing Super Lolo to an ever increasing number of grandchildren. I can also see the love he is capable of in his various commitments and engagements. He has had a very fruitful career as an IT professional. He has mentored a host of choirs in the many places where he has lived. And he has maintained contact with former choir members. His life exudes a joy and exuberance that only a man who truly loves is capable of experiencing.

Tessa was our colleague in Xavier School. She was the eldest of seven siblings. She was very smart, articulate and lady-like pretty. She was a very good teacher, promoted to be department head in record time. She then shifted to a corporate career and rose up the corporate ladder quickly. She could have made a perfect partner for Ping but she had other things in mind. She came from a poor family. She sent all her brothers and sister to school. And when they were all done with college, she went to become a nun. Not just any nun but with the very severe contemplative Poor Clares. All the time, she put her dreams on hold to care for and nurture her siblings. Now, in prayer, she still cares for her many spiritual brothers and sisters. Even as a nun, we still strongly feel her love for us for the blessings that Anabelle and I enjoy must partly be due to her incessant prayers for us and our family.

I thank God for people like Ping and Tessa in my life. For through them, I have known love and I have known it in its many and various incarnations.

Blessed be the name of the LORD both now and forever.

Jesus said to his disciples:
“As the Father loves me, so I also love you.
Remain in my love.
If you keep my commandments, you will remain in my love,
just as I have kept my Father’s commandments
and remain in his love.
I have told you this so that my joy might be in you
and your joy might be complete.
This is my commandment: love one another as I love you.”
John 15:9-11

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