The Story of the Seeds

Posted on July 13, 2014 by Spirit Moments

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These past few days I have dug myself into a rut of self-pity and misery.
I have driven the one person I have loved the most away from me.
I have allowed the evil one to steal the goodness and love in my life.
I felt like the seeds that fell on the path, and the birds came and ate them up.

“The seed sown on the path is the one
who hears the word of the kingdom without understanding it,
and the evil one comes and steals away
what was sown in his heart.”
Matthew 13:19

I thought I was being so high minded and self-righteous.
Deluding myself with highfalutin and pretentious ideas and pseudo reflections.
In the end, I found myself engulf in the webs of my self-delusion.
I was like the seeds fell among thorns, and the thorns grew up and choked me up.

“The seed sown among thorns is the one who hears the word,
but then worldly anxiety and the lure of riches choke the word
and it bears no fruit.”
Matthew 13:22

I meant good and I meant well.
But good intentions often blind me to the reality before me.
I thought I was doing right but I was just salving my ego all along.
I was like the seeds that fell on rocky ground,
where they did not have much soil,
and they sprang up quickly, since they had no depth of soil.
But when the sun rose, they were scorched;
and since they had no root, they withered away

“The seed sown on rocky ground
is the one who hears the word and receives it at once with joy.
But he has no root and lasts only for a time.
When some tribulation or persecution comes because of the word,
he immediately falls away.”
Matthew 13:20-21

It is difficult to be good and so easy to be bad.
For all the good intentions I have, I easily go astray,
into being proud, selfish, self-righteous, self-centered.
And in that self-delusional state of being sanctimonious
I am but an inch away form my perdition.
There but for the grace of God go I.

I hold on to the promise that was given to those who believe:
“Thus says the LORD:
Just as from the heavens
the rain and snow come down
and do not return there
till they have watered the earth,
making it fertile and fruitful,
giving seed to the one who sows
and bread to the one who eats,
so shall my word be
that goes forth from my mouth;
my word shall not return to me void,
but shall do my will,
achieving the end for which I sent it”

Thus, even if I fall and I fail.
I can rise up with God’s grace.
Thus, even if I am like the seeds on rocky ground.
I will struggle to sprout and grow,
Thus, even though tribulations and difficulties come my way,
I will cling to God’s promise.
And holding Him to His promise,
Like the seeds that fell on rich soil,
I will yield a fruitful harvest.

“But the seed sown on rich soil
is the one who hears the word and understands it,
who indeed bears fruit and yields a hundred or sixty or thirty-fold.”
Matthew 13:23

The seed that falls on good ground will yield a fruitful harvest.

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Dasein: Existence

Posted on July 12, 2014 by Spirit Moments

Scientifically speaking, darkness does not exist. Only light does. Scientists can study light: the photons that carry it, its wavelike motion, its energy content. They cannot and do not study darkness for there are no photons to observe, no waves to detect and no energy to measure. Darkness is nothing; it is the absence of light. And yet I can and do experience darkness. It is the home of all my fears and nightmares, of whatever it is that is lacking or missing in my life. It is also the source of all my longings, specially of the light, of the brightness of seeing and of the luminance of life.

Likewise, cold does not exist. Only heat does. Yet, I can also experience the cold. In extreme cold, not only is heat absent. Even life as we know it dies out. I have experienced cold so extreme, it set me thinking that hell is not one hot fiery place but a cold, desolate, frozen wasteland. And yet, there are times, I love the cold. In sweltering weather, I long for the respite to a cool breeze. And what would Christmases be like without the winter wonderland landscape. In the depths of the wintry cold, we long for the new life that comes with spring.

And so it is in life, we understand something better by its absence. And in understanding both existence and non-existence, we come upon some precious insights. As a teacher, I see illiteracy and lack of education not as an obstacle but a motivation for teaching. There are no bad students once we realize that education can liberate minds just as light can drive out the darkness and heat can drive out the cold. Nothing frees people more effectively from the shackles of illiteracy and ignorance than the power of education and information. Despots keep their subjects enslaved by keeping them ignorant of the truth or feeding them false information. Teaching will dispel the darkness in the minds of people and replace it with the light of truth. Teaching will banish the coldness in the hearts of people and replace it with the warmth of love.

In all this, I can choose to be an agent of light rather than darkness, of warmth rather than coldness, of life rather than death, of truth rather than lies. of love rather than hatred, of goodness rather than evil, of what is beautiful rather than of what is ugly.

The Lord is king; he is robed in majesty.

Jesus said to his Apostles:
“No disciple is above his teacher,
no slave above his master.
It is enough for the disciple that he become like his teacher,
for the slave that he become like his master.
If they have called the master of the house Beelzebub,
how much more those of his household!”
Matthew 10:24–25

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A Doubting Faith

Posted on July 11, 2014 by Spirit Moments

My faith has never been one of absolute certitude. I am often beset by doubts. I imagine myself in the presence of my God but sometimes I feel I am all alone. There is nobody else there. I imagine myself having a conversation with someone; but it all seems make-believe. I am just talking to myself. I believe my prayers will eventually change me for the better. But I have remained the same person that I have always been: selfish, afraid, insecure, yet full of pride. Even the good things I like about myself have always been with me. I was born that way.

And yet, after all these years I do not want to give up now. What if I am almost there and I give up just a few steps away from where I want to be or from that which I seek? There has always been something obstinate in me that refuses to give up even when everything seems to be lost. I will never give up on something or someone I love. I will never give up something or someone that is beautiful to me. I cling to the truth even when it does not seem to make sense.

So there are days that I spend in the darkness of doubts. Foolishly perhaps, I want to think that it is the darkest just before the dawn. And even if I doubt the power of prayers just now, I pray that the dawn comes for me soon.

My mouth will declare your praise.

Then Peter said, “Look, we have left everything and followed you. What then will we have?”
Jesus said to them, “Truly I tell you, at the renewal of all things,
when the Son of Man is seated on the throne of his glory,
you who have followed me will also sit on twelve thrones,
judging the twelve tribes of Israel.
And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters
or father or mother or children or fields, for my name’s sake,
will receive a hundredfold, and will inherit eternal life.”
Matthew 19:27-29

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Traveling Light

Posted on July 10, 2014 by Spirit Moments

In the past, I always had the tendency to over-pack whenever I had to travel. I needed to have an extra formal shirt in case I got invited to a fancy dinner; or an extra jacket in case the weather got cold; or an extra pair of shoes in case I get a chance to go on a hike or a long walk. In the end, I end up lugging two heavy bags and then not using half of what I have packed.

Of late, I have learned to travel light. For, how much can one really get to wear on a week or two of travel? I can always wear a pair of denims or a shirt for another day or two. I can always wash shirts and drawers if I run out of clean ones. I can travel now with just a small bag and I still often end up not using everything I have packed. And I travel better and enjoy the trip more.

And so it is in life. I can choose to over-pack or I can travel light. I can choose to carry the baggage of the past or I can simply delight in the joys and the blessings of the present moment. I can even be totally engrossed by what I want to do in the future or I can just be rapt in the magic and thrill of the today. I can choose to moon over the past or wax poetic about the future; but I would rather live the life for the moment.

Let us see your face, Lord, and we shall be saved.

Jesus said to his Apostles:
“As you go, make this proclamation: ‘The Kingdom of heaven is at hand.’
Cure the sick, raise the dead, cleanse the lepers, drive out demons.
Without cost you have received; without cost you are to give.
Do not take gold or silver or copper for your belts;
no sack for the journey, or a second tunic, or sandals, or walking stick.
The laborer deserves his keep.
Whatever town or village you enter, look for a worthy person in it,
and stay there until you leave.
As you enter a house, wish it peace.
If the house is worthy, let your peace come upon it;
if not, let your peace return to you.”
Matthew 10:7–15

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Home and Family

Posted on July 9, 2014 by Spirit Moments

It is strange and paradoxical how our family and our loved ones can be both the source of our greatest joys and deepest love and at the same time the cause of our greatest pains and deepest sorrows; how the home that nurtured us can sometimes look like most unwelcoming and even oppressive.

There is nothing that a father would not do for his children, nor anything that a mother would not be willing to give up for the sake of her children. Children would go to great lengths to please and make their parents happy and proud. When people want to have a good time like in a moment’s notice, the first person they would think of are their own brothers and sisters. And nothing beats a grand reunion with all of one’s cousins and relatives. Indeed, home is where the heart is.

And yet, no slight or insult cuts more deeply than one from a sister or a brother. Even husbands and wives are sometimes each others biggest burden or put-down. A wayward daughter or a stubborn son can break a parent’s heart like no other. Many have found acclaim outside the home and yet are taken lightly in their own families.

Why are the nest and the home that nurtured us so full of paradoxes? Yes, it is strange but it is this strange environment that brings out the complexity of the person and character that I am. It is this bizarre and unusual turn of events in a surrounding where I can afford to be vulnerable that prepares me for anything that life can throw at me.

I can get hurt or get to hurt people in my family but I am assured of their unconditional love. I am sure to be forgiven, to be taken back, to still be loved even if I am at my worst self. In my family, I can make mistakes without the fear of getting destroyed or rejected forever or being totally lost.

Seek always the face of the Lord.

Jesus summoned his Twelve disciples
and gave them authority over unclean spirits to drive them out
and to cure every disease and every illness.
The names of the Twelve Apostles are these:
first, Simon called Peter, and his brother Andrew;
James, the son of Zebedee, and his brother John;
Philip and Bartholomew,
Thomas and Matthew the tax collector;
James, the son of Alphaeus, and Thaddeus;
Simon the Cananean, and Judas Iscariot who betrayed Jesus.
Jesus sent out these Twelve after instructing them thus,
“Do not go into pagan territory or enter a Samaritan town.
Go rather to the lost sheep of the house of Israel.
As you go, make this proclamation: ‘The Kingdom of heaven is at hand.’”
Matthew 10:1-7

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Lost, Bothered and Dumbfounded

Posted on July 8, 2014 by Spirit Moments

Relationships in my life are very important and life-giving:
Links to nature, to people, to God.
There are many links in my life right now that are broken,
damaged, weakened, in need of healing.

On the one hand I can’t seem to get out of the rut
of my own needs, my hurts, my wounds and my pride.
On the other, I am disturbed and troubled
by the growing distance between me and others.

Between the quagmire of excessive self-absorbed unhappiness
over my own troubles and wallowing in it
and the real call for help and understanding from
people who are close and dear to me,
I am at a loss on how to move forward.

I cannot proclaim love and goodness
when I am too lost and absorbed in my own pain and sorrow.
And yet, I cannot just let things stay as they are or get any worse
without me doing something major.

It is very difficult to trust and keep faith
when everything around me seems to be crumbling down.
It is very difficult to find my way ahead
when I seem to be grappling in a dark unending road.

The house of Israel trusts in the Lord.

Jesus went around to all the towns and villages,
teaching in their synagogues,
proclaiming the Gospel of the Kingdom,
and curing every disease and illness.
At the sight of the crowds, his heart was moved with pity for them
because they were troubled and abandoned,
like sheep without a shepherd.
Matthew 9:35–37

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Happiness is Now

Posted on July 7, 2014 by Spirit Moments

There are times when the fondest things people want to make them happy is already right before them, staring them in the face, and they still do not recognize it.

A young man, full of hopes and dreams, is very disappointed to find out he will soon be a father. He thinks that puts a damper to what he still wanted to accomplish for himself. There were things he still wanted to enjoy without having to take care of a baby. There were projects he still wanted to accomplish that will bring him acclaim and recognition. But with a baby on the way, he sees many of his dreams and plans dashed to pieces.

The baby comes and he grows up to be a sweet adorable son. He grows up adoring his father. For him, there is nothing that Daddy cannot do. There is nothing that Daddy does not know, no question that Daddy cannot answer. He thinks the world of Daddy and Daddy cannot do wrong. But the boy is not perfect. He is given to terrible tantrums and gets impatient very often when he does not get what he wants.

The son brought everything the young man ever dreamed of into his life. The adulation and affirmation the son gave his Daddy was more than all the accolades he could get elsewhere, specially from the workplace. With the son, the young man enjoyed the things he loved to do even more. The things that brought him joy and his happiness were echoed and multiplied when done for and with his son. Even the tantrums of the son were a mirror of what the young man wanted to make better in his life: more control of his emotions, patience when things do not work out his way, gratitude for the blessings that come to him everyday through his son.

I have everything and more than I have ever dreamed or planned for. I only need to open my eyes to see them staring at me in the face.

The Lord is gracious and merciful.

When Jesus arrived at the official’s house
and saw the flute players and the crowd who were making a commotion,
he said, “Go away! The girl is not dead but sleeping.”
And they ridiculed him.
When the crowd was put out, he came and took her by the hand,
and the little girl arose.
And news of this spread throughout all that land.
Matthew 9:23–26

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Struggles and Life

Posted on July 6, 2014 by Spirit Moments

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“Come to me, all you who labor and are burdened,
and I will give you rest.”

Everyone longs for rest from labor and toil.
This is specially true for peasants working the soil.
But even those who in everyday life try to do their best
They also long for some comfort, respite and rest.

Strange, but no activity definitely means death.
And every moment of life comes with the motion of breath.
Life is a rhythmic cadence of alternating motion:
Up and down, stress and release, contraction and relaxation.

“Take my yoke upon you and learn from me,
for I am meek and humble of heart;”

Indeed, life is never always about just success and victory.
And everyone’s quest seems to always be for fame and glory.
Anyone who’s ever reached a peak has had to struggle some.
And into every life losses and failures must come.

There is no victory nor glory without breaking a few muscles.
There is no triumph nor success without the strain and the struggles.
Any yoke, no matter how light, will bend the head in meekness and humility.
And only then does someone achieve triumph and prosperity.

“and you will find rest for yourselves.
For my yoke is easy, and my burden light.”

Yokes and burdens are a part of life and we carry them everyday.
Sometimes they are light and easy and we get carried away
Into believing that life is meant to be all fun and enjoyment
But it is the bumps and the hitches that make for our achievements.

The yoke that was promised us was actually that of the cross.
Nothing could be more difficult nor anything more gross.
But it would in truth be light and easy, and great to be meek and humble
If follow and live out the words of Christ, we are faithfully able.

He never promised a life that easy or problem-free.
But He did promise liberation and the fullness of life
For you and for me.

I will praise your name for ever, my king and my God.

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Beyond the Rituals of Religion

Posted on July 5, 2014 by Spirit Moments

All too often and for many people, the practice of religion easily degenerates into empty rituals of prayers, fasting and sacrificial offerings. And worse, religion deteriorates into prejudices and exclusions, then into hatred and violence. These practices of religion are never meant to appease or please a vengeful and wrathful God. These practices are meant to change us and make us better persons, fully aware of the loving God who has given us life.

Prayers are humble a humble admission of our existence: undeserved, unmerited, freely given as a gift from a loving Creator. I have done nothing to deserve life. And when the time comes for my life on this earth to end, the good Lord will transform it into another level. Prayer is thanksgiving for this gift of life, a longing for that one day when I come face to face with my Creator, a supplication that when that event comes I will be ready and aware of what is taking place.

Fasting is not a means to losing weight or shedding unwanted pounds. It is not a punishment nor an atonement for my manifold shortcomings. Fasting is an emptying of myself to make room for others to come and live within my heart. It is making space where I can embrace others in love and compassion. It is creating an emptiness within me so that God may come with His fullness.

Sacrificial offerings are not a salve to my conscience. They are not bargaining chips which I offer up to God in exchange for some favors I am asking. Sacrifices are acts of discipline where I learn to deny myself so that I can affirm others. Sacrifices predisposes me to let go of things and not be possessed by them. Sacrifices prepares me when I have to give everything I have for the sake of others. Christ showed me what real sacrifice is. My sacrificial offerings are my daily practice to being able to be like Christ when the times comes.

The Lord speaks of peace to his people.

Jesus answered them, “Can the wedding guests mourn
as long as the bridegroom is with them?
The days will come when the bridegroom is taken away from them,
and then they will fast.
No one patches an old cloak with a piece of unshrunken cloth,
for its fullness pulls away from the cloak and the tear gets worse.
People do not put new wine into old wine skins.
Otherwise the skins burst, the wine spills out, and the skins are ruined.
Rather, they pour new wine into fresh wine skins, and both are preserved.”
Matthew 9:14-17

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Freedom

Posted on July 4, 2014 by Spirit Moments

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“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.”

Based on these noble and sublime principles, a group of dedicated and devoted Christians, representatives of their respective communities, founded and declared a new nation – one and indivisible under God. Those who have followed and come after them have tried and struggled to live by these principles even to the extent of sometimes giving up their lives.

Towering majestically over the New York harbor, Lady Liberty proclaims:
          “Give me your tired, your poor,
           Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
           The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
           Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me,
           I lift my lamp beside the golden door!”

In fits and starts, sometimes with might and main, sometimes with hesitance and doubts, the US has always lived by the principles on which it was founded. It has welcomed the poor, the wretched and the homeless to give them an opportunity and freedom to pursue their own life and happiness. I have personally witnessed this in the many Filipinos I know who have achieved the American Dream and who would have otherwise lived lives of destitution and penury back in the home country.

Having been founded by white Christians, this country could have chosen to allow only white Christians in, as some countries do to preserve their ethnic purity. But no nation has been more welcoming of all colors and religions, specially of those people who are persecuted or discriminated against in their countries of origin precisely because of their color or religion.

Today, the US remains to be the vanguard of the fight against exclusions and discrimination. The country leads the fight for the elimination of bias and barriers based on gender, abilities and even language. Even those most critical of her would chose to settle within her shore when they fell and seek refuge.

Many are the criticisms and denunciations against the US. But it remains to be a force for good in the world. I remember growing up in Angeles. All the good things I remember fondly from my childhood (chocolate bars, comics, fragrant bath soap, hotdog sandwiches, fried chicken) would usually come from the neighboring Clark Air Base. Whenever disaster struck our little town, be it a big fire or a terrible typhoon, the Americans from Clark were always the first to help. And their help was always very generous.

One does not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God.

And as he sat at dinner in the house,
many tax-collectors and sinners came
 and were sitting with him and his disciples.
When the Pharisees saw this, they said to his disciples,
‘Why does your teacher eat with tax-collectors and sinners?’
But when he heard this, he said,
‘Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick.
 Go and learn what this means, “I desire mercy, not sacrifice.”
For I have come to call not the righteous but sinners.’
Matthew 9:9–13

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