They Must Increase, I Must Decrease

December of 2013 was my best December as far back as I can remember. December of 2014 was the most miserable. December 2013, Anabelle and I were busy preparing for Macky’s and Lani’s wedding and catching up with friends we have not seen for a long time and will not see again for a while. December 2014, I got caught up in my own hurts and disappointments and wallowed in self-deprecation, even nursing the pain and misery.

Lesson learned: there is great joy and happiness in giving to others; there is only pain and misery in being too self-engrossed and full of oneself.

As I grow older, my footprint here on earth is getting smaller and smaller. When I was younger, I could really feel my footprint was rather sizable. There were a lot of people I knew. There were a lot of projects I was involved in. My decisions affected a lot of people and may depended on them.

Today, my days are pretty much the same from day to day. I interact with a small group of people everyday and they are always the same. I have a feeling though that I will be remembered most by the things I will be doing these days. I may be decreasing but in that very same process, I am making my loved ones increase. And my faith increases with them.

The Lord takes delight in his people.
~ Psalm 149
Now a dispute arose between the disciples of John and a Jew
about ceremonial washings.
So they came to John and said to him,
“Rabbi, the one who was with you across the Jordan,
to whom you testified,
here he is baptizing and everyone is coming to him.”
John answered and said,
“No one can receive anything except what has been given from heaven.
You yourselves can testify that I said that I am not the Christ,
but that I was sent before him.
The one who has the bride is the bridegroom;
the best man, who stands and listens for him,
rejoices greatly at the bridegroom’s voice.
So this joy of mine has been made complete.
He must increase; I must decrease.”
John 3:26-30
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Fears And Faith

Fear often immobilizes me or throws me into panic.
Faith frees me of my fears and I can move forward calmly and peacefully.

There are many things I am afraid of:
the unknown, uncertainty, rejection, failure, pain, suffering,
people, place and events that have hurt me before.
My tendency is to avoid these and flee from them.
There have been moments I confront my fears
and I am freed from them.
I used to be afraid of the dark as a child.
I would then stay in the dark for as long as I can,
even imagining the worse that could happen in the dark.
There were times I would scamper to the light,
when I could not take it any longer.
But eventually I overcame my fear of the dark.

As I grew older, I discovered faith is a better answer to fear.
Life for the most part is uncertain,
what the future holds, unknown.
The path before me is shown often, one step at a time.
But the journey has been great so far.
If I just focus on my life being a coming home to my God,
I am able to overcome most of my fears.
If I just remember the promise given to me,
I am able to move forward with trust and confidence.

“Do not be afraid.”
No words can be more comforting,
specially during stormy days.
He gets into my boat,
it is not always smooth sailing,
but I am no longer afraid.
for more often than not the winds cease
when He comes into my boat.

Praise the Lord, Jerusalem.
~ Psalm 147
Immediately Jesus made his disciples get into the boat
and go on ahead to the other side, to Bethsaida,
while he dismissed the crowd.
After saying farewell to them,
he went up on the mountain to pray.
When evening came, the boat was out on the sea,
and he was alone on the land.
When he saw that they were straining at the oars against an adverse wind,
he came towards them early in the morning, walking on the sea.
He intended to pass them by.
But when they saw him walking on the sea,
they thought it was a ghost and cried out;
for they all saw him and were terrified.
But immediately he spoke to them and said,
“Take heart, it is I; do not be afraid.”
Then he got into the boat with them and the wind ceased.
And they were utterly astounded,
for they did not understand about the loaves,
but their hearts were hardened.
Mark 6:45-52
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A Personal Mission Statement

The poor always hope that today will be better than yesterday,
And tomorrow better yet than today.
We are all poor one way or another,
Praying for the fulfillment for what is lacking in life.
There has never been as much affluence
In man’s history as today.
Yet, there has never been as much poverty than now.
Even those endowed with great material possessions
Are aching with poverty in their souls.

Freedom is cherished by all.
Many have sacrificed their lives to fight for it.
Yet, many remain enslaved.
Physically, those who have less by those who have more.
Mentally, those who are slaves to their passions and addictions.
Spiritually, those who have sold their souls to the devil,
The devil of fortune, power and fame.

Science has enabled blind people to see.
Yet, never have so many people been so blind.
Blinded by their biases and prejudices,
They do not see others who think or believe differently.
Blinded by their pride and apathy,
They do not see those in need and in want.
Blinded by their hedonistic seeking for pleasure,
They do not see those in pain and misery.

I pray for vision and inspiration that I be the harbinger of glad tidings to others.
I pray for courage and strength that I be a liberating presence in the lives of others.
I pray for caring and compassion that I be a light in other people’s lives.

Lord, every nation on earth will adore you.
~ Psalm 72
Jesus returned to Galilee in the power of the Spirit,
and news of him spread throughout the whole region.
He taught in their synagogues and was praised by all.

He came to Nazareth, where he had grown up,
and went according to his custom
into the synagogue on the sabbath day.
He stood up to read and was handed a scroll of the prophet Isaiah.
He unrolled the scroll and found the passage where it was written:
“The Spirit of the Lord is upon me,
because he has anointed me
to bring glad tidings to the poor.
He has sent me to proclaim liberty to captives
and recovery of sight to the blind,
to let the oppressed go free,
and to proclaim a year acceptable to the Lord.
Luke 4:14-19

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Daily Prayer

The flurries of the holidays are over and things are starting to settle into their daily routine. Children are back in school. Parents are back to their places of work. And everyone is again busy with the ordinary activities and everyday grind of earning a living. Anabelle and I are back doing our ‘apos’tolic duties.

One thing though has not changed. I still take time to spend moments in Sacred Space in prayer. Even during his busiest days, Jesus always found time to go off (to the mountain or to a quiet place) to pray. Somehow, my day does not seem right if I miss out on my time for prayers.

Often, I do it out of routine. Sometimes, I do not feel like praying at all. There are the instances that I find great consolation in it. But I persist in spite of the unevenness of the experience, trusting that the Lord is working on me, that there is a time and place I set aside for Him everyday. It may not be clear to me now but in the fullness of time, I believe that everything every piece will fall into place, specially for those times when things look like they are falling to pieces.

Lord, every nation on earth will adore you.
~ Psalm 72
After the five thousand had eaten and were satisfied,
Jesus made his disciples get into the boat
and precede him to the other side toward Bethsaida,
while he dismissed the crowd.
And when he had taken leave of them,
he went off to the mountain to pray.
Mark 6: 45-46
 
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Unbroken

One line from the movie Unbroken, which we watched last night, has been playing over and over in my mind, “If I can take it, I will make it.” It echoes Nietzsche’s “What does not destroy me makes me stronger.” One can be beaten and tortured yet remain unbroken if he does not allow it. It has happened time and time again that people go through unimaginable difficulties and challenges, they go through it unbroken and they come out even stronger. Indeed if I can take anything life deals out to me, I can make my life better.

God has given me life. He has also given me a spirit with which to make something out of that life. It is not the food I need to sustain my body. People can go without food and survive just on water but they will not survive with a broken spirit. It is not wealth that will buy me anything I need. Often, what sustains and keeps the spirit alive cannot be bought by money. And paradoxically, it is in blessed, broken and given to others that I make my sprit stronger and make my life better.

Lord, every nation on earth will adore you.
~ Psalm 72
Then, taking the five loaves and the two fish and looking up to heaven,
he said the blessing, broke the loaves, and gave them to his disciples
to set before the people;
he also divided the two fish among them all.
They all ate and were satisfied.
Mark 6:41-42
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A Career In Teaching And Healing

Two activities occupied much of the public ministry of Jesus: the preaching and teaching of the Gospel, and the healing of the sick and making whole those afflicted with illnesses. The teaching part can also be seen as a form of healing. Teaching is a cure for ignorance, fear, and prejudice.

Today is the feast day of St. John Neumann, the father of Catholic education in the US. He started the first diocesan school system in his diocese in Philadelphia. Teaching and education has always been a vital activity of the Church. It was in Catholic universities and institutions of higher learning, including abbeys and monasteries, that arts and sciences initially flourished. Religious orders, notably the Jesuits, have established for themselves a franchise for their brand of Catholic education.

I spent all my working years in these two arenas: health and education. I have always been proud of being a teacher. Tatang was a teacher and I followed in his footsteps. My first job was teaching where I met Anabelle. She would go on to teach all her working life too – 30 years at the Ateneo. Even when I was pursuing a corporate career, I set aside time to teach – more than 20 years at the Ateneo Graduate School of Business.

I have come to appreciate the value and great service in working in the health arena: dealing with doctors and other health professionals, as well as their patients, in my work with pharma companies, managing a health delivery system as an HMO executive, engaging health leaders and institutions as a health management consultant.

I thank God for these opportunities to have serve and shared in His work of teaching and healing. I have always looked at my work more as an act of service rather than a career.

The LORD said to me, “you are my Son; this day I have begotten you.
~ Psalm 2
He went around all of Galilee,
teaching in their synagogues, proclaiming the Gospel of the Kingdom,
and curing every disease and illness among the people.
His fame spread to all of Syria,
and they brought to him all who were sick with various diseases
and racked with pain,
those who were possessed, lunatics, and paralytics,
and he cured them.
And great crowds from Galilee, the Decapolis, Jerusalem, and Judea,
and from beyond the Jordan followed him.
Matthew 4:23-25
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Stars And Magi

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For as long as man has been on earth, he has always been looking up to the stars in awe, with wonder and with inspiration, for meaning and for guidance. Just as the Magi searched the skies for their star, astrophysicists today still scan the heavens to learn from the stars how and why things are on earth. Stars tell us how and where we came from, and how and where we will eventually become. The most inspiring of what these scientists have learned is that we are literally made of stardust.

The Magi and their star might have been myth or legend. They may have been ordinary visitors. Or, they may not even have existed at all. But their story is full of meaning and wisdom for me. God speaks to us through the things He has created for us. Anything and everything has the potential to reveal to us the God who created us all. He does not always show Himself in the magnificent and explosive outbursts as in the first bang. He sometimes come in very ordinary things. In fact, it is only in the darkness of night that we can see the beauty and splendor of the stars.

Only in the darkness of the night shall we see the stars light.
Only on an empty sky can we see the birds soar and fly.

And if we watch and are attentive, the stars have a lot to tell us about God. Just as the Magi in the past knew. And the astrophysicists of today are learning. In the stillness as in the night or in the emptiness as in the sky, can we encounter Him who made the stars and the skies.

I look at the gifts of the Magi and I learn a few things about life. They brought the baby born in the manger gold, frankincense and myrrh. Gold is wealth, treasure, abundance. Whatever I have of value I offer to God in thanksgiving. Wealth is not only the money and possessions one has. My health is wealth. And so is knowledge, and community and family. The best way to preserve such golden possessions is to offer them back to their source.

Frankincense is burnt for the sweet smoke it produces. The smoke is redolent with delightful fragrance; it looks like a spirit wafting up to the heavens; it reminds us of the numinous. It tells us there are things we cannot touch nor hold but are as real as the physical things around us. Through sight and smell, we know there is incense present. And such is the experience of the Divine Presence in our lives.

Myrrh is traditionally used as an anointing oil in preparing the deceased for burial. It reminds as of the fragility and finiteness of life on earth. Our lives on earth eventually comes to an end. But as the fragrant aroma of the oil lingers, it intimates to us that life is not totally taken away but rather transformed and transported up to a higher level. We go back to where we came from.

The baby in the manger, helpless and vulnerable. The Magi from the East, learned and searching. God, beyond the senses and the physical, speaking and moving. I, sometimes lost, sometimes bewildered, always alert and eager to listen. The stars and the skies will always speak to me even when I am in darkness or feeling empty.

Lord, every nation on earth will adore you.
~ Psalm 72
When Jesus was born in Bethlehem of Judea,
in the days of King Herod,
behold, magi from the east arrived in Jerusalem, saying,
“Where is the newborn king of the Jews?
We saw his star at its rising
and have come to do him homage.”
After their audience with the king they set out.
And behold, the star that they had seen at its rising preceded them,
until it came and stopped over the place where the child was.
They were overjoyed at seeing the star,
and on entering the house
they saw the child with Mary his mother.
They prostrated themselves and did him homage.
Then they opened their treasures
and offered him gifts of gold, frankincense, and myrrh.
Matthew 2:1-12
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Life Is Precious

Life is precious. But its value is not like that of a diamond: beautiful, strong and almost indestructible. Although, it can be like that sometimes as in moments of triumph and victory. But a diamond is not a living thing.

Life is precious, more like a bird: tiny, vulnerable, fragile and easily blown by a strong gust of wind. Life is precious precisely because it can be snuffed out anytime, unexpectedly and sometimes for the flimsiest of reasons. But even so, a bird can soar up to the sky and glide among the clouds like forever. That is beautiful. It speaks of the strength there is even in a tiny bird.

Maybe life is precious because it is like a diamond and a bird. Indestructible and fragile at the same time. Pain and pleasure. Tears and laughter. In the midst of the Christmas festivities, there is the tinge of sadness, melancholy, bitterness, sometimes even anger and regrets. In the midst of sorrow at the death of a loved one, there are moments of joy, compassion, forgiveness, loving remembrances and stronger bonds of family and friendship.

The man John saw coming towards him was not dressed in fine clothes. Nor did him come with a whole coterie of powerful retainers. He came like any of the ordinary folks who came to John to be baptized. But out of that ordinary event, extraordinary things begun happening in the world. Fragile, vulnerable, ordinary. Christ came and showed us how to transform the fragile and vulnerable into something precious and everlasting.

All the ends of the earth have seen the saving power of God.
~ Psalm 98
John the Baptist saw Jesus coming toward him and said,
“Behold, the Lamb of God, who takes away the sin of the world.
He is the one of whom I said,
‘A man is coming after me who ranks ahead of me
because he existed before me.’
I did not know him,
but the reason why I came baptizing with water
was that he might be made known to Israel.”
John 1:29-31
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Get Up And Go On The New Year

It is the second day of the New Year and it is back to the regular grind for most people. The early risers and the achievers have started off at the break of dawn and soon everyone will be busy with the hustle and bustle of daily life. Some are off to fulfill their 2015 dreams and plans; others are on their way to amass more wealth; still others are now busy doing what they are good at doing or simply love doing. And still there are the precious others who have woken up with joy in their hearts and a grateful smile on their faces, willingly glad to share their day and gifts with others. It is like the whole of humanity in now on the go again on this great journey we call life.

And as with any journey or trek, there will be the strugglers. There will be the dieingly sad who have not gotten up from their beds because of some physical or mental or spiritual malady afflicting them. Some will not survive the day. Some will not survive the year.

There are those who have to literally force themselves out of bed because life is simply such a terrible burden for them. They may not have enough food or clothing or shelter to even want to take one step forward. Or, their spirits might be so broken there in no sense in getting up and going at all.

These are those that Pope Francis refer to them as living in the fringes and periphery of society. They are being left behind. I offer prayers for them today. I set aside my own troubles and commiserate with them in their misery and even despair. I give what I can for them. I will do what I can for them. Focus on what I can give and do for them will get me out of wallowing in excessive, self-absorbed unhappiness over my own concerns.

All the ends of the earth have seen the saving power of God.
~ Psalm 98
This is the testimony of John.
When the Jews from Jerusalem sent priests and Levites to him
to ask him, “Who are you?”
He admitted and did not deny it, but admitted,
“I am not the Christ.”

“I am the voice of one crying out in the desert,
‘Make straight the way of the Lord,’
as Isaiah the prophet said.”
John 1:19-23

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Down In The Dumps @ New Year

Amidst all the Christmas and New Year festivities this year, I have been feeling rather down in the dumps. There were disagreements and misunderstandings in the family that caused a lot of hurts among us. I am missing those who are not here with me. I miss the Christmas celebrations of last when we had two weddings in the family. Then there was a death in the family. There was a lot of pain both on the person who died and those left behind.

I am feeling kind of tired of trying and struggling. I try to give my best but it seems my best is not good enough. And at this moment, I feel I have no more to give. But still I am expected to. I will still try to. I am getting tired of loving and trying to make others happy. I love doing this when I do it because I love to. But I hate it when I do it because I have to. I am feeling selfish right now and thinking, “Hey how about receiving something in return for a change?”

A doctor-friend diagnosed me as a case of SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder). But I think this is a thing of the spirit. Someone is trying to tell me something. To be quiet and to listen. I know this will pass away, just as 2014 has passed away and just as 2015 will also pass away. Perhaps next year, I will look back to this morning and say with a smile, “It has made me a stronger and better person.

But for the moment, like Mary, I will keep all these things, reflecting them in my heart. Right now, I pray for healing that all the pain and hurts will go away, specially the ones I might have caused in others because of the mood I am in. If they won’t go away, I pray for courage and strength to bear them until they go away or I have developed the fortitude to bear them courageously. I pray for forgiveness that I can give it to those who have hurt me and that I can receive it from those I have hurt.

May God bless us in his mercy.
~ Psalm 67
The shepherds went in haste to Bethlehem and found Mary and Joseph,
and the infant lying in the manger.
When they saw this,
they made known the message
that had been told them about this child.
All who heard it were amazed
by what had been told them by the shepherds.
And Mary kept all these things,
reflecting on them in her heart.
Then the shepherds returned,
glorifying and praising God
for all they had heard and seen,
just as it had been told to them.
Luke 2:16-21
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