Musings on Fathers’ Day

Posted on June 16, 2013 by Spirit Moments

ImageThe curfew tolls the knell of parting day,
The lowing herd wind slowly o’er the lea
The plowman homeward plods his weary way,
And leaves the world to darkness and to me.
Thomas Grey

One of the joys of coming home is the sharing of stories, laughter and loud talk. But I also love the coming of the evening during such togetherness when things start to settle down, the noise and the banter comes down to quiet and the house becomes silent. For it is then that I truly feel the presence of my loved ones. We may by now have taken each our corner of the house, settled into a chair or snuggled into bed or just gazing lazily into vacant space. No words are spoken. But the peace and quiet speaks tons. We are home, basking in each others quiet presence.

Tatang was not as loquacious as Ima. He had his stories but they are told in the fewest words possible, not with all the drama Ima was capable of. I know he took great pride in the accomplishments of his children. He never said as much but I could tell by that distinctive twinkle in his eyes, as when he looked at me walk up the stage to bet my medals or when I would bring to him my own sons. I know I have many failings and shortcomings in my relationship with him. I have disappointed him often. But he has responded only with love and forgiveness, not spoken in words but expressed by his unfailing care and concern. I have wandered far and wide. He gave me my wings to fly. He never preached to us, as Ima did. He simply showed me how to dream and make those dreams reality. He was the only one in his family to go to college. This inspired many of his nephews and nieces to do the same. In his youth, he joined the thin ranks of teachers after the war to teach the young. I still like to believe that he contributed immensely to the education of many Kapampangan carpenters. In ways quiet and unspoken, I am a lifelong teacher because of him. During all my wanderings and flights, I always knew he would always be home waiting for me. Before being a role model and an anchor through life’s changing fortunes, being a father is first of all about being around and being present.

A love that never fails to forgive builds a home where young ones can grow roots. A love that never fails to inspire grows wings in the young ones for them to fly. Great fathers give their children but roots and wings. Tatang gave me both. I pray I am able to give these too to my sons and their children.

Jesus spoke up and said to him, ‘Simon, I have something to say to you.’ ‘Teacher,’ he replied, ‘speak.’ ‘A certain creditor had two debtors; one owed five hundred denarii, and the other fifty. When they could not pay, he cancelled the debts for both of them. Now which of them will love him more?’ Simon answered, ‘I suppose the one for whom he cancelled the greater debt.’ And Jesus said to him, ‘You have judged rightly.’
Luke 7:36-50

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True Love Allows for Mistakes

Posted on June 15, 2013 by Spirit Moments

A man and woman fall in love, decide to stay in love with each other and swear fidelity for the rest of their lives to that bond that gives them stability and certainty in an unstable and uncertain world. A man heeds his reason and seeks that which is good. He listens to his heart and seeks to love in the face of hatred, to be generous in the face of greed and selfishness, to go through life on an even keel even in the face of the storms and vicissitudes of life. Living a life of faith and love does not mean not making mistakes or taking the right actions all of the time. Faith and love allows for failures and errors and mistakes. In fact, it is faith and love that allow me to rise up from my failures and errors and mistakes. For without faith, one failure or one failing is enough to destroy me for the rest of my life. It is faith in myself and in the fact that I have been created as a person of value that I can rise up and try again. Without love, I shall be forever condemned for my errors and mistakes of which I have many. It is the fact that I am surrounded by people who love me that I can try again to right those mistakes; that I have a God who loves me so much that he is willing to forgive me my failings so that I can start anew with a clean slate.

Jesus said to the crowds, “Again, you have heard that it was said to those of ancient times, ‘You shall not swear falsely, but carry out the vows you have made to the Lord.’ But I say to you, Do not swear at all, either by heaven, for it is the throne of God, or by the earth, for it is his footstool, or by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the great King. And do not swear by your head, for you cannot make one hair white or black. Let your word be ‘Yes, Yes’ or ‘No, No’; anything more than this comes from the evil one.”
Matthew 5:33-37

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A Successful Marriage Is A Decision

Posted on June 14, 2013 by Spirit Moments

I have received countless blessings in my life. And the greatest of these is my marriage to Anabelle. Our good friend Cora once told me that I can’t start counting my blessing unless I start with Anabelle. And those words constantly ring in my ears. I was not supposed to be in Xavier and she had wanted to teach in Don Bosco instead; but somehow we found each other teaching in Xavier School. We have known each other for 43 blissful years now. Serendipity? Destiny? No, it was the Spirit of God leading us on.

We have been blessed with friends who also treasure their marriages. Now, successful and great marriages do not just happen as in “. . . . and they lived happily ever after.” Couples have to work on their marriage and work hard at it to make it work. It always start with this heady feeling of infatuation and falling in love. But for true love to grow, the couple has to realize that love is a decision, a choosing to love specially when the luster of that infatuation fades away, a commitment that is renewed every day. Love in marriage is not like some electronic gadget that you turn on and forget about. It is more like what Mother Teresa said: “To keep a lamp burning, we have to keep putting oil in it.”

It is sad that today’s culture and environment seem to be inhospitable for long-term and lifetime marriages. In today’s throw-away culture, if something does not work we throw it away and change it. I was raised up with the wisdom that it something does not work, it needs fixing. In today’s fast and noisy environment, relationships are very fragile. Even before people have truly developed an authentic relationship, they are off to another one. In today’s world of virtual realities, we want everyone and everything to be created in our image and like-ness. If we do not like something or someone, it is not real for us.

I thank God for the blessing that Anabelle has been in my life. I thank God for friends who have shared our belief that marriage is a life-time commitment, renewed everyday.

Jesus said to the crowds, “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
Matthew 5:27-32

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Reconciliation

Posted on June 13, 2013 by Spirit Moments

I grew up during the heat of the Cold War, which pitted democratic countries, led by the US, against the communist bloc, led by the USSR. The relationship between the two blocs was one of stark confrontation. Their strategy in dealing with the other was MAD (Mutually Assured Destruction) with thousands of their missiles aimed and ready to fire at the other.

In recent years, the world has enjoyed the longest period in human history of relative peace where these has not been any global conflagration, but for regional conflicts. The drive for globalization has brought nations into mutually beneficial trade relationships, where cooperation rather than confrontation is the norm for behavior among nations. Nations have too much invested in the present economic order so everyone wants to maintain the peace and stability.

Globalization has not been without problems. It has benefited many countries but it has also widened the gaps between the rich and poor nations. This gap has spawned and abetted the rise and spread of terrorism. Often, this terrorism has been fed by some mantle of religious fervor that is based on exclusivity rather than inclusion.

In his heart of hearts, man knows that he is meant to live with others in this world. That no man is an island. That, if we just learn to share, there is enough for everyone. That, if we just learn to care, there is no need for conflict and confrontation. That, if we just see in others the beauty and value we see in ourselves, there will be heaven here on earth. But the baser instincts of men often get the better of us. We have to strive against these baser instincts; otherwise, we are all headed for Mutually Assured Destruction.

Our baser instincts say “Revenge!” Christ says “Forgive. Reconcile.”

“When you are offering your gift at the altar, if you remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother or sister, and then come and offer your gift.”
Matthew 5:20-26

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Visions

Posted on June 12, 2013 by Spirit Moments

One of the most inspiring persons I have worked with is Dr. Alran Bengzon. After decades of dedicated work, he is finally leaving service with the Ateneo. He first came in as Dean of the Graduate School of Business. Not a few people remarked what is this medical doctor trying to do, running a business school. He proved more than equal to the task as he led the AGSB to become the top business school in the country with innovative programs and inspired changes. He went on to organize two more schools in the University he loved: the School of Government and the School of Medicine and Public Health. In the process, he has left a legacy of institutions that will train and mold leaders in three areas dear to his heart: health, governance and business – pillars in nation building, which has always been one of his battle cries. Given more time, he and Fr. Ben Nebres would probably have gotten around to also putting up a STEM School in the University.

Dr. Alran did great things because he always dreamed big. I loved coming to his meetings where he would take us to fantastic flights of dreams and visions and then challenge us on how to transform these to realities. His dreams and visions were deeply rooted in his spirituality and his patriotism, his love of God and love of Country. Whatever he did, he did with great passion with which he infected people around him.

I envy him that even in his advanced age, he still working his magic and inspiration to accomplish great things. When it came for us to part ways, there were no great goodbyes. We simply just drifted away. But he has always been a part of me since then.

One of the hallmarks of working with a great man like Dr. Bengzon is that everything just seems to fall into place – eventually. Given the great visions he draws up for and with us, everything seems to be but a step in their gradual unfolding. There were great difficulties and obstacles along the way. But in time, everything got done and the work was accomplished.

For truly I tell you, until heaven and earth pass away, not one letter, not one stroke of a letter, will pass from the law until all is accomplished. Therefore, whoever breaks one of the least of these commandments, and teaches others to do the same, will be called least in the kingdom of heaven; but whoever does them and teaches them will be called great in the kingdom of heaven.” Matthew 5: 17-19

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Proclaiming the Good News

Posted on June 11, 2013 by Spirit Moments

Last night, Anabelle and I saw the new movie ‘The Internship’ for our regular Monday movie date. It is about two ‘old’ salesmen (in their 40’s) joining young nerds and geeks (in their 20’s) for a summer internship program at Google. Initially, they were of course totally out of place. In the end, everyone realized that life was not meant to be lived in formulas and algorithms but in experiences and moments; that life is best understood not as some mathematical or scientific processes but as captured in a story or anecdote; that life is about connecting with people, building relationships and doing good for others. It is about loving and serving our neighbors, to use the words of Christ.

Christ sent out his disciples to proclaim the good news of the coming of the kingdom. And what are the of the kingdom? Cure the sick, raise the dead, cleanse the lepers, cast out demons. And the Church, for all the scandals and shortcomings that are besetting her today, has faithfully followed the mandate of Christ to heal the sick, feed the hungry, teach the ignorant, clothe the naked, visit those in prison, welcome the stranger. US Catholic hospitals top the list of 100 Top Hospitals in the US. The Church has a very extensive prison ministry. The Church is in the forefront of the campaign for immigration reforms. Worldwide, the Church operates the world’s largest non-governmental school system.

I have my own shortcomings and failures. I have, in my time, lusted after material things and possessions. But I have devoted my life in work in health and education. I have found inspiration and consolation in the work that I did and in the people I had been blessed to work with and to work for. I may not have done great things. I may not have changed the world. But I did what I did with the words of Christ constantly in my mind: “Proclaim the good news . . . . .”

Jesus said, ‘As you go, proclaim the good news, “The kingdom of heaven has come near.” Cure the sick, raise the dead, cleanse the lepers, cast out demons. You received without payment; give without payment. Take no gold, or silver, or copper in your belts, no bag for your journey, or two tunics, or sandals, or a staff; for laborers deserve their food.’
Matthew 10:7-13

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Blessed Are We Who Have Been Given This Earthly Paradise

Posted on June 10, 2013 by Spirit Moments

Then he began to speak, and taught them, saying:
‘Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
‘Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.
‘Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.
‘Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.
‘Blessed are the merciful, for they will receive mercy.
‘Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.
‘Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.
‘Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness’ sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
‘Blessed are you when people revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account. Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven.
Matthew 5:1-12

The beatitudes have been the source of inspiration and consolation for many throughout the ages. They have been spoken and quoted with so much love, generosity, faith, hope and peace for they describe the reality of our existence as it should be and as it will be one day. But when I look at nature at her most pristine and unsullied state, the reality of the beatitudes is already here.

In great abundance, nature provides food and sustenance for everyone. In the wilds no one ever dies of hunger. Everyone finds a shelter and a home. When the weather gets too cold, birds fly to where the sun is, rodents burrow deep into the ground and the great bears hibernate in their caves. When the streams and rivers dry up in one place, great hordes and herds of all sorts of cattle and animals undertake a great migration to where the waters still flow. When night comes everything and everyone settles down to renew themselves for the new day that will soon be dawning. Trees shed their leaves in winter to allow mother earth to clean herself. And when summer comes trees put on a rich canopy of leaves and foliage to enjoy the rays of brother sun and to glisten in the shimmering light of sister moon.

And what does man do to all this natural rhythm and rhyme? Man, with his rational mind, tinkers with it. First a little here. And then a little more there. And before we know it, we are thrashing our planet and destroying the natural rhythm and rhyme that makes this earth a paradise. We have turned hot places into cool ones through air-conditioned luxury. We have turned cold places into warm ones with heaters that can be controlled for our comfort. In the process, we heat up the whole planet with our carbon emissions. We have turned day into night and night into day and are now living 24/7, totally disrupting our natural circadian rhythm. We raise and grow crops out of season. We breed fish and livestock through artificial insemination. We mess around with the DNA of living organisms. We are using earth’s resources faster that she can replenish them – often for frivolous and worthless purposes. In the process, we have gutted our her belly and mined minerals without truly understanding what it is we are doing to Mother Earth. And all of these have been done by the one species here on earth that is supposed to be gifted with reason: man.

I realize that the Beatitudes describe a reality that is here now. And we are thrashing that reality. I will live simply, and though my acts may seem feeble, I will preserve the blessedness of this paradise we have been born into.

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When I’m Down, I Look Up.

Posted on June 9, 2013 by Spirit Moments

ImageWhen life’s burdens bend you down so that you only see the ground, lift your head up high and see how marvelous is the sky.

Today I got a letter of thanks from a nephew for the “remote support and advice”. He was living in another country. Months ago, he was in the midst of a very distressing situation. It was so bad he wanted to walk away from it all. Now, things have worked out for the better. But during the crisis, saying things would work out in the end would have seemed to me very callous and totally not empathetic to what he was going through. Often, we just have to muddle through the mud and slosh through the slime to get to dry land. We have to shed the tears to wash away the pain and its sources. All I could offer him was my presence and availability, and some options.

When I am bent down by problems and life’s burdens, I see only the ground: black, dirty, messy and complicated. All I have to do is look to see the sky: blue, clean, orderly and full of life and promise. When I am down, I see only the debris and the detritus, the rot, around my feet. And then I look up and I see new life blooming among the branches: new twigs sprouting, new leaves blossoming, and occasionally, some nestlings.

When I am down, I often forget what a precious life I have been blessed with. All I have to do is to look up in prayer, strain to hear the voice and presence that says: “Do not weep.” to realize what immense value I have within me: God’s gift of life.

As he approached the gate of the town, a man who had died was being carried out. He was his mother’s only son, and she was a widow; and with her was a large crowd from the town. When the Lord saw her, he had compassion for her and said to her, “Do not weep.”
Luke 7:11-17

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Tears are the Language of the Heart

Posted on June 8, 2013 by Spirit Moments

Teacher Ciello, one of our good friends from the AGS, posted this update on her Facebook page about the first day of school: “A little boy was so upset this afternoon. He was really crying. He wanted to drink Milo but Mom put water in his jug.” The boy was crying his heart out. Thrown as he has been into the mad confusion of the first day of school, he was at least looking forward to the comfort of his chocolate drink. Teacher Ciello’s first and natural impulse was to dry his tears and soothe a disappointed heart. She wrote: “I told him to close his eyes and imagine really really hard that he’s drinking Milo and not water. He said ‘Teacher, it’s not working.’ ha ha”

Why is our natural tendency in the face of tears is to stop them from flowing? Is it wrong to cry? Specially, for men? Often, we reason away the tears: it will pass away; it is not something worth crying over; I brought it upon myself. Or sometimes, we just steel ourselves stoically against the pain or sorrow so as not to shed the tears. But if words be the language of the mind, then tears and laughter are the language of the heart. Laughter, they say is the best medicine. Together with tears, that is. That little boy will soon forget about his Milo but his mother will now never forget to put his chocolate drink in his jug. He will recover from the disappointment but I pray he never loses his sensitive heart that will cry for classmates when they are in pain, a heart that will shed tears for friends when they are in trouble, a heart that will beat for others who are not as blessed as he is, a heart that will move him to action to help those in need.

When one speaks from the heart, one is never at a loss to something to say. For a touch spoken from the heart, says more than a thousand words. When one gives from the heart, no one is so poor as to have nothing to give. For anything given from the heart reeks with the sweet scent of love.

He sat down opposite the treasury, and watched the crowd putting money into the treasury. Many rich people put in large sums. A poor widow came and put in two small copper coins, which are worth a penny. Then he called his disciples and said to them, ‘Truly I tell you, this poor widow has put in more than all those who are contributing to the treasury. For all of them have contributed out of their abundance; but she out of her poverty has put in everything she had, all she had to live on.’
Mark 12:38-44

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My Heart Beats For You

Posted on June 7, 2013 by Spirit Moments

The heart has always been the symbol of life and love. Life ceases when the heart stops beating. When I first experienced the thrill of love, it was through the stronger beatings of my heart that I become aware of this wonderful emotion. I realized then that my heart beats not for me alone but I was inspired to say: “My heart beats for you alone.” to the person I love. And when I lost a loved one, I did not suffer a headache, nor a stomach ache, not even muscle aches but a heart ache. I was heart broken.

The shape of the heart is unique. I sometimes wonder why the heart isn’t shaped like a perfect circle, a round ball. Then, it would be more efficient. As it is, the heart has a slightly pointy lower tip as though a part of it has been shaved off. Perhaps, that missing part of the heart is in God’s hands. There is always that lingering feeling of incompleteness and even emptiness in the human heart. And the heart will only be stilled when I finally get to meet God and he completes my heart by giving me back the missing part. “Our hearts are restless until they rest in thee, Oh Lord.” St. Augustine.

Today is the Feast of the Sacred Heart. Here is a heart that beats for me in infinite love. I shall match that ardor by seeking to have my heart beat in love for others.

“Just so, I tell you, there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who need no repentance.”
Luke 15:3-7

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