A Successful Marriage Is A Decision

I have received countless blessings in my life. And the greatest of these is my marriage to Anabelle. Our good friend Cora once told me that I can’t start counting my blessing unless I start with Anabelle. And those words constantly ring in my ears. I was not supposed to be in Xavier and she had wanted to teach in Don Bosco instead; but somehow we found each other teaching in Xavier School. We have known each other for 43 blissful years now. Serendipity? Destiny? No, it was the Spirit of God leading us on.

We have been blessed with friends who also treasure their marriages. Now, successful and great marriages do not just happen as in “. . . . and they lived happily ever after.” Couples have to work on their marriage and work hard at it to make it work. It always start with this heady feeling of infatuation and falling in love. But for true love to grow, the couple has to realize that love is a decision, a choosing to love specially when the luster of that infatuation fades away, a commitment that is renewed every day. Love in marriage is not like some electronic gadget that you turn on and forget about. It is more like what Mother Teresa said: “To keep a lamp burning, we have to keep putting oil in it.”

It is sad that today’s culture and environment seem to be inhospitable for long-term and lifetime marriages. In today’s throw-away culture, if something does not work we throw it away and change it. I was raised up with the wisdom that it something does not work, it needs fixing. In today’s fast and noisy environment, relationships are very fragile. Even before people have truly developed an authentic relationship, they are off to another one. In today’s world of virtual realities, we want everyone and everything to be created in our image and like-ness. If we do not like something or someone, it is not real for us.

I thank God for the blessing that Anabelle has been in my life. I thank God for friends who have shared our belief that marriage is a life-time commitment, renewed everyday.

Jesus said to the crowds, “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
Matthew 5:27-32

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