My Uniqueness And My Heart Of Stone

Posted on January 20, 2016 by Spirit Moments
Jesus was grieved at their hardness of heart and said to the man, “Stretch out your hand.” He stretched it out, and his hand was restored. Mark 3:5

My disappointments and frustrations that have transformed my heart into stone arise from the fact that I am unique. There is no other one like me. Therefore, there will always be rough edges when I meet and interact with others. Their thoughts, actions and emotions may sometimes be like mine but they will always be different, even quite the opposite of what I think, do or feel.

My uniqueness also make me one of a kind and special. When God created me, He was thinking of nobody else and nothing else but me. The bundle of joy that I came as into the world was and is and will be like no other else. This makes me God’s special creation. I am His beloved. And I know this deep in my heart.

I get lonely and frustrated when and if I expect everybody else to be like me when they are not. I find joy and peace when I delight in my uniqueness as God’s beloved and also celebrate the uniqueness and beloved-ness of others around me.

I’m unique, special.
That makes me one of a kind,
One and alone too.
Posted in Character, Identity | Tagged , , | Comments Off on My Uniqueness And My Heart Of Stone

The Two Wolves

Posted on January 19, 2016 by Spirit Moments

One of the great rules in life is the law of atrophy. What I do not use, I lose. Muscles I do not use nor exercise would soon atrophy, shrivel and die. Neurons that are not used die faster than those that are active. Money not used loses its value due to inflations; invested or used, it grows.

There is a corollary principle to this rule, the law of growth. What I nourish will flourish. I came across this story that poignantly illustrate this principle:

An old Cherokee was teaching his grandson about life. “A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the boy.

“It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil – he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.” He continued, “The other is good – he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you – and inside every other person, too.”

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf will win?”

The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”

As I struggle and work to change my heart of stone into a heart of flesh, I am learning that the more I nourish feelings of anger, resentment and negativism, the longer and the stronger they stay with me. I notice too that even when the source and the cause of these feelings have passed away or have been gone, the feelings linger on and continue to fester. And I can literally feel my spirits being poisoned and becoming even more bitter and angrier. If I tame and starve the feelings, they eventually die and go away.

I must let go and stop feeding the evil wolf in me and let the good one become more alive, flourish and grow.

Posted in Change, Character, Evil, Life, Relationships | Tagged , | Comments Off on The Two Wolves

A Heart Of Stone Is A Heavy Burden

Posted on January 18, 2016 by Spirit Moments

A heart of stone is a heavy heart to carry. Right now, I am carrying the burden of hurt and broken relationships. There are several of my relationships with people who are close and ear to me that are frayed and damaged. I know I should mend them for these are important to me. But there are some where pride keeps me from making the first move. There are others where my selfishness is demanding the return of my pound of flesh. And there are still others where sloth and laziness keep me from making the effort to reach out.

There are other relationships that have been festering all these years and I have probably turned some hearts into stones by my insensitivity and inaction. There are some that are still hearts of flesh but are wounded and I have been wittingly or unwittingly pouring salt over the still fresh wounds.

“I grow cold. I grow weary. And I know I have sinned.” I know I am terrible flawed. I am imperfect and full of shortcoming.While I want to love and have done my share of loving in my lifetime, I am also in need of mercy. What a precious lesson that Pope Francis is preaching and teaching us. We are the beloved of God, also always in need of His mercy.

I need mercy now. I want to love but my weaknesses keep getting in the way. Mercy will wash away my iniquities and I seek a heart of flesh that can still love in spite of my woundedness.

Posted in Character, Discipleship, Encounter, Relationships | Tagged , , , | Comments Off on A Heart Of Stone Is A Heavy Burden

A Heart Of Stone

Posted on January 17, 2016 by Spirit Moments

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

His mother said to the servants, ‘Do whatever he tells you.’
John 2:5
 There are days I feel like a rock. Specially when buffeted by life’s worries and anxieties, I just want to be stolid and uncaring, shutting myself off from the world to spare me of anymore hurts and disappointments.Today is one of those days.

I wish I had more resources to be able to help all those who expect my help. I wish I had more things to give away to distribute to all who are in need. I wish I had more power to make things happen for those who are deficient in life. All these wishes only add up to my frustrations and push my low spirits farther into the depths.

And yet, in my sober moments, I know I have everything I need to be able to help others. I do not need wealth, power nor fame to love and serve others. In fact, when I heeded Christ’s call, it was a call to leave everything I had and follow Him. He came without wealth nor power nor fame. Without wealth, He created treasures that have lasted through the ages. Without power, He changed persons, communities and societies for the better. Without fame, He gathered a people unto Himself who found happiness and fulfillment in glorifying His name.

All He needs is my heart to show His love and care to others. All He needs are my hands to deliver that love and care. All he needs is my mind for me to know whom and how to love and care for. All He needs is me – to show his love and care, for me.

As I pray, I hear Mary’s advice “Do whatever He tells you.”. And just as He turned water into wine, I trust that He will turn my heart of stone into a hear of flesh,

Posted in Character, Discipleship, Photography | Tagged , , | Comments Off on A Heart Of Stone

“Follow me.”

Posted on January 16, 2016 by Spirit Moments
As Jesus was walking along, he saw Levi son of Alphaeus sitting at the tax booth, and he said to him, “Follow me.” And he got up and followed him. Mark 2:14

In my youth, I thought I heard the same call “Follow me.” and I have always tried to be a follower of Jesus.

There was a time I was full of idealism and I wanted to change the world for Him. I gave my time to the pursuit of a revolutionary ideal and even joined a radical effort to explore new ways of priestly formation. I was in marches, in immersions with the poor and the oppressed, in passionate discussion groups. But I was also always a step away from going fully underground.

I pursued a career, still imbued with the same principles and ideals of my younger days. I shared my time and talent with people whom I worked with, impressing them with my diligence and industry and also with my idealism and commitment. I achieved success well beyond my expectations; but I also succumbed many times to the blandishments of fame, power and fortune.

Whenever I could, Anabelle and I chose to serve whenever and wherever we could. We shared our time, talent and treasure helping the less fortunate, helping in the preparation of young couples for marriage, helping out in civic causes and when calamities struck. We built a home and a family that was open and willing to serve others.

Today, all of that is gone. Radical efforts today means learning the new world and vocabulary of Jonathan and Jane. Work is as simple as bringing and picking them up from school. Service is preparing their meals or helping them with their school work. And yet, I believe the call to follow is still there. And even in the simplicity and humbleness of my daily routine, I am still heeding that call.

Now, I have more time to reflect and share with friends, either by visiting them or calling or writing them or meeting them in cyberspace. I use my talents to keep my relationship with them alive and vibrant through Spirit Moments. I have enough treasure to keep me comfortable and we share not out of our fullness but out of the realization that all the blessings we have received have been gratuitous gifts and which we are willing to share.

Posted in Discipleship, Relationships | Tagged , , | Comments Off on “Follow me.”

Standing Up To Go Home

Posted on January 15, 2016 by Spirit Moments
He said to the paralytic – “I say to you, stand up, take your mat and go to your home.” Mark 2:11

During my recent cardiac operation, I was beset by fears and anxieties post-surgery. I felt alone and struggling. The pain made matters worse with me hankering for care and attention, which were provided to me by my loved ones and the medical team. But I was utterly frustrated when the care and attention I got was not what I expected. I felt paralyzed by my fears, by my anxieties, by my frustrations, and by my lack of energy.

At my age, I often notice that small things often cause me great disappointment and even frustrations. Like, something I need that I cannot find. Or, an expected event that is cancelled at the last minute. Or, a an anticipated visit that does not happen. There was a time I could handle more stress and grapple with all sorts of fears and worries. But this is a different time and there seems to be more cause and sources for irritants.

I know I will be going home. And it is so far a leisurely walk. I imagine Jesus saying to me, “Stand up, get ready, we are going home.” I find these words comforting from one who at the end of His life had to endure unthinkable suffering. Yet, He persevered. May I keep my faith and trust in Him in my final walk home.

Posted in Discipleship, Encounter | Tagged , | Comments Off on Standing Up To Go Home

Conversations and Encounters in the Mind

Posted on January 14, 2016 by Spirit Moments
Moved with pity, Jesus stretched out his hand and touched him, and said to him, ‘I do choose. Be made clean!’ Mark 1:41

I watch the sun and it just keeps on shining. For billions of years and for some billions more, it has been ablaze, seeking to encounter things in its vicinity to give light, warmth and yes life.

I feel the breeze and the wind just keeps on blowing. It blows wherever it will and whenever it will, fanning the earth and making possible the weather and the seasons. In the process, it makes possible the warm, the cold, and yes life.

I think of my mind – perpetually active and always burning with thoughts, always taking flights with ideas. Even when I am asleep, my mind is actively sorting, organizing and cleaning up my thoughts and I sometimes remembers these as dreams. When I am awake, my mind is in constant conversation with its environments, listening to voices and stimuli, responding often to the loudest.

But there is one persistent voice that speaks to my mind and my heart. It is often the softest and the wisest. It is often drowned out by all the other louder and more persistent noises. Even when I may not be aware, my mind is carrying on a conversation with God. I will strive to make this conversation a more conscious effort. In silence. In the quiet of being alone and by myself. For this will be a conversation that will go on for eternity.

Posted in Encounter, Relationships | Tagged , , | Comments Off on Conversations and Encounters in the Mind

Life Questions and a Life of Prayer

Posted on January 13, 2016 by Spirit Moments
In the morning, while it was still very dark, he got up and went out to a deserted place, and there he prayed.
Mark 1:35

I often get caught up in the hurly-burly of daily life. I get inundated by myriad questions as to the where, the when, the how of everyday living. It is sometimes fun flitting from one activity to another, in endless pursuit of career, success and personal happiness. Soon, fatigue set is and sometimes, boredom and frustration.Then, I begin wondering what am I doing.

There comes a time, I need to slow down. To keep still and soak in the silence. And as I have advanced in years, I more and more seek these moments of peace and quiet. Prayer times are precious moments. The questions I mull over are now about the what, the why and the wherefore of my life. Praying is not about finding answers to my questions but finding the right questions to ask.

My days are not complete without my prayer time. For several days recently, I pretended that I did not need my prayer time. It did not work. I need to pray like I need to breathe to stay alive.

Posted in Life, Spirituality | Tagged | Comments Off on Life Questions and a Life of Prayer

Living With Spirits And the Unseen Presence

Posted on January 12, 2016 by Spirit Moments
Just then there was in their synagogue a man with an unclean spirit, and he cried out, “What have you to do with us, Jesus of Nazareth? Have you come to destroy us? I know who you are, the Holy One of God.” But Jesus rebuked him, saying, “Be silent, and come out of him!” Mark 1:23-25

 There is a lot about the world around us that we do not see nor understand. Either we do not know the process involved nor aware of the forces at work. Over time, we have learned a lot more about the universe we live in. But it is well possible that there are still beings that we may have inklings about but totally unaware of. Physics accepts the possibility of parallel universes and of alternate consciousness. Men’s religious experience speak of spirits and souls.

Right after my recent operation, I had the experience of not being myself. It was like another spirit has taken over me and I was doing and saying things that sounded strange and unfamiliar even to myself. I even thought that I have taken on the personality of the person or persons whose blood has been transfused into me. I was wallowing in pain and self-pity, it really felt an evil spirit has possessed me.

I have also had gladsome experiences of good spirits in my life. There have been moments of intense joy and happiness in my life, of immense peace and tranquility in certain events, of immeasurable love and affection during the most unexpected occasions. these moments have often been without physical explanations. But there is that overpowering feeling of a loving presence, an embrace that makes everything all right, a reassuring silence that guarantees all things are as they should be.

These are not repeatable experiences that I can call on at will. But like I can tell that morning is coming when dawn cracks over the horizon. I can feel them coming when I am open and alert to the promptings and signs around me, beyond the physical and material. I sometimes pretend not to see nor hear. But if I listen and be aware closely enough, there is a Presence and Consciousness that speaks and relates with me. I can choose to ignore it or Him, and then it or He goes away.
Posted in Encounter, Nature, Science, Spirituality | Tagged , | Comments Off on Living With Spirits And the Unseen Presence

Change For the Better

Posted on January 11, 2016 by Spirit Moments
Jesus came to Galilee, proclaiming the good news of God, and saying, “The time is fulfilled, and the kingdom of God has come near; repent, and believe in the good news.” Mark 1:14-15
We are not only beings, existing in the here and now. We are also becomings, straining towards the there and then. We are beings in process, constantly changing and yet rest and inertia seems to be our natural state. Everything and everyone eventually comes to a stop.
We are also creatures of habit. We often end doing things the way we have been accustomed over time. Einstein is often quoted as saying, “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again but expecting different results.”
Jesus’ call to repentance is a call for change. There is goodness in our being but we have to become and change to bring that goodness out and make it real and actual.

 

Posted in Change, The Good News | Tagged | Comments Off on Change For the Better