The Gift of Who I Am

Posted on January 2, 2014 by Spirit Moments

“Who are you?” “Where are you going?” “Why are you here?” “What are you about?” These are the questions that I have been struggling with all my life. I have grown, matured and changed through the years. And yet, I have remained the same. In fact, the more I changed; the more I became me. I was born as a bundle of potentials and possibilities; and my life has been about the unfolding and realization of those possibilities.

People and events have made the unfolding possible. There are people who have been great instruments in my unfolding and becoming. There are those who have been hindrances and obstacles. Try as they might to deter me, I still have become. Try as I might to be somebody I am not, I keep coming back to who I really am. I have taken many detours and have gone off track often. But in the end, what and who I am eventually comes through. I love what I have been and become. And all of this has been gift.

I am the voice of one crying for fulfillment and completion. I long for being finally and fully united with my Source. I will seek the straight and narrow path of light leading to that Infinite Light and Goodness.

Then they said to him, ‘Who are you? Let us have an answer for those who sent us. What do you say about yourself?’ He said, ‘I am the voice of one crying out in the wilderness, “Make straight the way of the Lord” ’, as the prophet Isaiah said. John 1:19-23

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Present Again

Posted on January 1, 2014 by Spirit Moments

The past two weeks had been a frenzy of events and now all seem to have gone by like a blur. We celebrated two big weddings in the family, Christmas, New Year and countless reunions and get-together with family and friends. We saw many people and truly appreciated their presence in our lives. We also saw many people but who have somehow not been a true presence in our lives. We missed many who have been a significant presence in our lives.

Presence is when someone truly touches my life and I in turn make a difference in theirs. Not everyone I see is a presence in my life. And not everyone who has been someone significant in my life, I can see. It is when someone changes me for the better that he becomes a presence in my life. Throughout all the frenetic activities of the Christmas season, I am grateful for the loving presence of people who have changed me for the better.

So they went with haste and found Mary and Joseph, and the child lying in the manger. When they saw this, they made known what had been told them about this child; and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds told them. But Mary treasured all these words and pondered them in her heart.
Luke 2:16-19

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“The Lord is with you.”

Posted on December 19, 2013 by Spirit Moments

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There is a Presence in my life that is not human. Being human is being alive, like waking up in the morning and going through the day, eating, working, resting and sometimes having fun. Yet, there are moments during the day I realize there is more to living than what I am doing at that particular moment. I eat to stay alive. And yet, there are moments when eating is such a joyful experience as when I share food with people close and dear to me. Then, there are also moments when it brings me so much happiness to prepare food to share with others. I work to get the things I need in order to eat. But work can be such a pleasure when I do it with others. Sometimes, we work not just to keep alive but to keep alive the beauty and the happiness we feel inside and share among ourselves.

This Presence also move things in my life for me. Right now, we are in the midst of the preparation for Macky’s wedding. Everything is inexorably rolling to the final denouement tomorrow. The love story of Macky and Lani has been some ten years in the making. It must have been a difficult one as they had both to struggle through medical school even as they kept the flame of their love burning brightly and strongly. Maybe its the flame of their love that fueled their stamina to successfully complete and finish their medical studies. Or, maybe it was the Presence we all feel and share that made all of these to happen and culminate in a beautiful wedding tomorrow.

“The Lord is with you.” No declaration can be more reassuring. Sometimes, He comes in a dramatic manner like this upcoming wedding we will be celebrating tomorrow. I am sure He will be there as He was at that wedding in Cana. At other times, He comes in quiet and peaceful moments like yesterday morning as I watched the sunrise come up over the mountain ridges at Pico de Loro. Initially, there was the faint glimmering of the dawn as total darkness slowly gave way to the coming sun to slow reveal the silhouette of the ridge. Then the glimmering slowly became light streaking across the horizon, driving the darkness away. The first white ligth of dawn quickly became the bright warm yellows and oranges of a brand new day. As all of this was unfolding, sparrows started dotting the morning sky, flapping their weeks and filling the air with their joyful chirping. The acacia trees nearby slowly opened their leaves and the lotus plants in the nearby pond slowly opened up their flowers. The earth with coming back for another day, announced by the sweet scent of the blooms opening up and stretching out their petals.

An extraordinary event with all the panic and the drama. An ordinary event that happens everyday we hardly give it notice. In both instances, and in may other instances beside, the Lord is with us, with me, with my loved ones. He is present. Here. Now. I often do not need to be reminded of that truth. But when I forget, He send His angels to tell me: “The Lord is with you!”

In the sixth month the angel Gabriel was sent by God to a town in Galilee called Nazareth, to a virgin engaged to a man whose name was Joseph, of the house of David. The virgin’s name was Mary. And he came to her and said, ‘Greetings, favored one! The Lord is with you.’ 
Luke 1:26-31,34-38

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Being a Father – My Tribute to My Tatang

Posted on December 17, 2013 by Spirit Moments

Today is the birthday of Tatang, so fondly missed and lovingly remembered. I always think about him whenever I read the story of Joseph.

Like Joseph, Tatang was a carpenter. That makes me a carpenter’s son. He spent his life teaching his craft to thousands of young men from Pampanga. He came from a family of farmers and was of peasant stock; so he also had spent time working the fields. I would grow up to spend many years as a teacher too and pursuing multiple careers, like my father did. He was carpenter, farmer and teacher. I was teacher, salesman, marketer, consultant and executive.

Like Joseph, he was a man of few words. Ima was the lively and bubbly one. Tatang was reserved and charmingly shy. He had a facility with words though, a trait I got from him. But his body language was very expressive. You can feel his joy and happiness by the radiance on his face during such moments. You can tell when he is sad or even very mad by watching his actions and his demeanor. Oh, but when he is very happy, a can be very loud too and mischievously playful – like me.

He would rather keep his troubles and problems to himself rather than talk about them – like Joseph. He would brood and be more quiet than his usual. Sometimes, it would take just a short time for his foul mood to pass away. There are times though it would linger for days. And it was not a happy time at home. One of my poignant memories with him was when he shared how painful it is for him that he could not provide for everything that we needed. We did not have much growing up but everything we needed we had: nutritious food, decent clothes, a comfortable house, good education and mostly of all unconditional love and endless caring. No frills but there were a lot of thrills. I knew what Tatang meant was that he wished he could have given us more.

He dreamt a lot. He was the first and the only one among his siblings to go to college. He would inspire and help finance nephews and nieces to go to college themselves. He dreamed of how he could make and do things differently. He left home and ventured out. As I have left home and ventured. As my son have left home and ventured out. I dreamt of the impossible and what I attained has been even more amazing than my wildest dreams. And I am gladdened when I see my sons dreaming their own dreams and pursuing them with vigor and main.

Joseph. Tatang. I. Fathers. Dreamers. Being a father is not easy. But nothing can be more rewarding than being the means by which new life is brought into this world. And nothing is ore fulfilling than being an instrument in the unfolding of another dream in this world.

Now the birth of Jesus the Messiah took place in this way. When his mother Mary had been engaged to Joseph, but before they lived together, she was found to be with child from the Holy Spirit. Her husband Joseph, being a righteous man and unwilling to expose her to public disgrace, planned to dismiss her quietly. But just when he had resolved to do this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, “Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary as your wife, for the child conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will bear a son, and you are to name him Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins.” All this took place to fulfill what had been spoken by the Lord through the prophet: “Look, the virgin shall conceive and bear a son, and they shall name him Emmanuel,” which means, “God is with us.” When Joseph awoke from sleep, he did as the angel of the Lord commanded him; he took her as his wife.
Matthew 1:18-24

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We Are Family

Posted on December 16, 2013 by Spirit Moments

Yesterday was a family day for us. Martin and family with Mickey arrived from abroad to attend Macky’s wedding this weekend. I was excited to pick them up from the airport and trully thrilled when I finally saw them after our three months of separation. Jonathan ran up to me as soon as he saw me and threw himself into my arms with a tight embrace. Jane was more reserved, lady-like but smiling, standing at a distance waiting for me to come to her. “I missed you.” I told her. “I know.” she replied. “Did you miss me?” I asked her. “A little bit.” she said and she embraced and allowed me to carry her. Her hugs seemed a little bit tighter and more lingering and her kiss a bit warmer than I remember.

It is an amazing experience seeing my family grow: my three boys, now handsome fine young men, are building families and careers of their own. In the coming days, we will be together as a family with everyone present, including a new member – Macky’s bride Lani. This is not very often as we are right now a family in diaspora. It gladdens my heart to realize how blessed we have been. Like, the very minor thing of picking the arrivals at the airport. I was already agonizing before picking them up as I heard the horror stories of people fetching family and friends from the airport at this time of the year. One friend picked up a foreigner-guest from Terminal 1 and the guest described the experience as brutal. Other relatives who are here for the wedding passed through Terminal 2 and it took them more than four hours from deplaning to finally getting home. Martin and company came through Terminal 3 and we were out of the airport in less than an hour.

Everyone likes to think their family is special. And mine truly is. As I watch my own family with so much joy and gratitude, I think of Ima and Tatang and how they must have felt seeing us their children grow up and raise our families. It is a feeling that makes light and meaningful all the sacrifices there is in parenting. I particularly remember Tatang’s trademark smile as he watched his grandchildren mill and play around him. He was a farm boy who couldn’t quite believe the good fortune that has come to him just as I am a small town boy who unbelievably made it quite well in the big city.

Families tie people together in an unbroken thread of goodness, love and beauty. Two people come together and pledge their lifelong love to one another. Their love bear fruits in their children who meet their own love of their lives. And this thread and community of love goes on and on till we all come to our destiny in the Kingdom of Love. And this thread and community of love goes all the way back to the source and origin of that love – the God of Love, whose becoming a man we celebrate this season.

An account of the genealogy of Jesus the Messiah, the son of David, the son of Abraham. Abraham was the father of Isaac, and Isaac the father of Jacob, and Jacob the father of Judah and his brothers, and Jesse the father of King David. And David was the father of Solomon by the wife of Uriah, and Solomon the father of Rehoboam, and Rehoboam the father of Abijah, and Abijah the father of Asaph, And after the deportation to Babylon: Jechoniah was the father of Salathiel, and Salathiel the father of Zerubbabel, and Eliud the father of Eleazar, and Eleazar the father of Matthan, and Matthan the father of Jacob, and Jacob the father of Joseph the husband of Mary, of whom Jesus was born, who is called the Messiah.
Matthew 1:1-2,6-7,12,15-16

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Living Through Uncertainty

Posted on December 15, 2013 by Spirit Moments

In a world governed by entropy, man wants to have some sense of certainty and some modicum of assurance. In the absence of certainty he can ascertain for himself, man seeks an authority he can believe in to be certain and be assured. Alas, no such authority in human affairs really exists. Life is so brittle and fragile, the best laid plans of men sooner or later go awry. And yet for all the the bad things that have happened to us, things have definitely gotten better over the years. In spite of the fits and starts, the disasters and destructions in human history, there has been immense and impressive progress and development through the ages.

Uncertainty is part and parcel of the human lot. But things getting better and man being born for greater things are also part of that human destiny. We just need to keep in touch with our roots and origins and never lose sight of our final destination.

Jesus said to them, “I will also ask you one question; if you tell me the answer, then I will also tell you by what authority I do these things. Did the baptism of John come from heaven, or was it of human origin?” 
Matthew 21:23-27

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The Prophet, The Fool and The Poet

Posted on December 14, 2013 by Spirit Moments

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Pasternak once wrote: “In every generation, there has to be a fool who will speak the truth as he sees it.” He could very have been describing what a prophet is. He could have written that with John the Baptist in mind, or even the Fool on the Hill Himself – the Christ.

Truth is often uncomfortable and inconvenient. John condemned Herod for marrying and living with his own brother’s wife. For that, he got beheaded. Christ condemned the hypocrisy and the deceit of the religious leaders of His time. For that, he was crucified. And yet, every generation indeed needs prophets who will speak out the truth. There is so much greed for material possessions and unbridled profits in today’s world. This greed that oppresses others need to be called out and condemned. Greed is also behind he unconscionable exploitation and abuse of the earth’s resources. This greed that thrashes our planet and creates massive pollution and climate changes need to be called out and condemned. Lust for power drives many to go to war and violence. This greed that leads to death and destruction must also be called out and condemned. Lust for inordinate and illicit pleasures drives many to exploit and abuse others, specially the weak, the women and the children. This sexual exploitation and human trafficking must be called out and condemned.

The work of a prophet is not only the proclamation of truth and the condemnation of lies and abuses. It is also the proclamation of the goodness and beauty that there is in life. It is also about “the blind receiving their sight, the lame walking, the lepers being cleansed, the deaf hearing, the dead being raised, and the poor having the good news brought to them”.

There is beauty and grace whenever a child is born no matter how humble the circumstances, like a manger. There is love and strength whenever a man and a woman pledge to be together till death do them part, instead of flitting from one casual relationship to another.  There is love and beauty whenever someone shares what he has with others who have less or are in need, even if this would mean denying his own comfort and pleasure. There is beauty and goodness whenever someone lives with less in order to help heal the earth by using less of her resources.

I had once dreamt of doing a prophet’s work, inspired by the thought of speaking and proclaiming what is true, good and beautiful. Along the way, I have allowed myself to be co-opted by the system. I was like a reed being swayed by the seductive winds of riches and possessions. I fancied myself wearing fine clothing and living in royal surroundings. These days, my thoughts often go along the lines of: If I had only a fraction of what I have, could I still live and see the goodness around me? My answer is Yes and I need to find the strength to do so. If I were to give away what I have spent most of my life collecting and putting together, would I still say in truth that I have everything I need in life? My answer should be Yes and I need to have courage to do so. Can I look at the my surroundings, see what is dirty and ugly, and then do my share in cleaning and healing of the environment? My answer should be Yes and I need greater sensitivity to do so.

Jesus began to speak to the crowds about John,
“What did you go out to the desert to see?
A reed swayed by the wind?
Then what did you go out to see?
Someone dressed in fine clothing?
Those who wear fine clothing are in royal palaces.
Then why did you go out? To see a prophet?”
Matthew 11:2-11

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What Have I Really Learned In My Life?

Posted on December 13, 2013 by Spirit Moments

“Regrets, I’ve had a few; but then again too few to mention.” There may have been some missed opportunities in my past that could have afforded me a bit more material resources or a bit more comfortable lifestyle. But now that I am trying to deconstruct and re-create my life through simplification and subtractions, these missed opportunities are things I can truly do without. Anymore of this worrying about material things will distract me from my current project. There may have been some encounters in my past that could have led to more friendships and relationships. But now that I am taking stock of my life and mainly counting my blessings, I realize that I have been blessed with enough friends and relations that anymore loving and caring may make my heart burst forth with gladness and joy. Hmmm, that does not sound too bad. It might in fact be a foretaste of heaven.

But it remains a fact that there have been instances when I missed the truth and reality even when these were as clear as day and staring me in the face. I have missed acts of kindness from others because I was too lost in my self. I have missed the colors and scents and the wild exuberance in nature because I did not take time to stop and smell the flowers. I have missed out on some excitement and adventure because I have been timid and feeble of heart.

And the opposite is true for I often see only what I want to see. I see problems and obstacles where there are no problems nor obstacles because fear and apprehensions get the better of me. I can see only impossibilities because I put limits on what I can do even before I try. I see and fear duplicity and deceit in others because these are the things I fear most about myself. I see hidden agenda where there are none because I harbor these myself.

There are times I fail to see the truth and the goodness and the beauty in others because of the naive belief that mine is the only truth, the only goodness, the only beauty. I fail to acknowledge that truth is too rich to be possessed just by me alone or that goodness is too grand to be found in me alone or that beauty is too all-pervading to be expressed in me alone. Others have a deeper and wider embrace of truth than I do; they live goodness in more noble and inspiring ways than I do; they give expression to beauty in more varied and more creative ways than I do. I impoverish myself immensely when I fail to see the truth others have to say or the goodness that others share or the beauty that others reflect and bring into this world.

In prayer, in silence, in solitude with the Source of all the truth and goodness and beauty that there is, I let all these sink in. There is more to life than my feeble mind can conceive or comprehend. I mull in gratitude and humility what I have learned and realized in my life. I stand in awe and reverence at the mystery of life that I still need to know and understand.

And the disciples asked Jesus, “Why, then, do the scribes say that Elijah must come first?” He replied, “Elijah is indeed coming and will restore all things; but I tell you that Elijah has already come, and they did not recognize him, but they did to him whatever they pleased. So also the Son of Man is about to suffer at their hands.” Then the disciples understood that he was speaking to them about John the Baptist. 

Matthew 17:10-13
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The Joy of the Gospel

Posted on December 12, 2013 by Spirit Moments

Pope Francis has been named The Person of the Year by Time Magazine, a worthy accolade to a man who has inspired billions of people and who has in less than a year rekindle the fires of faith everywhere. And yet, he is not without his share of critics and criticisms. For some conservatives, he is out to destroy the Church. For some liberals, he is not doing enough to renew the Church. How little people have changed since the time of Jesus. John fasted and there were those who said: “He has a demon.” Jesus feasted and there were those who called Him a glutton and a drunk.

From the fullness of the heart, a man speaks out. What has Pope Francis been talking of that will give us a glimpse of what is in his heart. A Milan newspaper analyzed what he has been saying in his first months in office and determined that Pope Francis uses the verbs ascolare (to listen) and camminare (to walk) very often. The Pope listens and has heard the cries of the poor, the sick, those imprisoned, those discriminated against like immigrants and gays, those ‘living in sin’. He has shown his willingness to walk with them, even for just some moments. He invited anyone who would walk with him to always move avanti (forward), not to linger in the present situation and not to go backwards. His vision is all-inclusive, often using the words tutti (everything)  and tutti (everyone). It is also revealing how rarely he uses the words punishment, discipline and power, words that were popular in times past.

Even from afar, I can tell who resides in the heart of Pope Francis – Jesus. Following Jesus has made all the difference in his life. He loves proclaiming the good news (Gospel) of Jesus. He knows life is difficult; but he has shown and done what he can to relieve the pain and suffering of the poor, the sick, those imprisoned, those discriminated, those in the fringes and the peripheries of society. He has done all these not with a long face but with real joy in his heart for he is holding on to the promises of Christ. He talked about this joy in his exhortation Evangelii Gaudium, where among other things he has declared that unbridled material economic growth will not bring us social, cultural and spiritual development but even more inequalities and sorrows.

The world today is full of politicians and leaders promising and talking about the good life for the masses but they only end up leaving a trail of even greater misery. I will cast my lot with Pope Francis anytime and in the Lord that he proclaims with so much joy.

John came neither eating nor drinking, and they say, ‘He has a demon’; the Son of Man came eating and drinking, and they say, ‘Look, a glutton and a drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and sinners!’ Yet wisdom is vindicated by her deeds.”
Matthew 11:16-19

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Metanoia – A Spiritual Paradigm Shift

Posted on December 11, 2013 by Spirit Moments

Yesterday, I met up with some friends and former colleagues. We had a great time reminiscing our glory days, when fired with the zeal and enthusiasm of a great visionary leader we set out to change the institution we were all working for and in the process contribute to nation-building and put it on the world map. We patted our collective shoulder when we finally made it to the top of one listing of the top institutions in our field of endeavor. And then, we started bemoaning the fact how a new team, composed of younger and newer blood, has come in and started deconstructing everything we have so laboriously put together; how they were doing everything wrong; how green these people were, not knowing what is real from what is illusory, mistaking form for substance, how they will fail to succeed like we did, etc. etc. At the end, I felt kinda smug in my own goodness and righteousness. I realized I was indulging in schadenfreude. I was being very pharisaical!

It is the story of mankind: the battle of generations, the wisdom of age versus the idealism of youth; the next generation wanting to take over even before they are ready; the older generation not wanting to give in even long after their time is over; in extreme cases, the revolution eating up its own children or Oedipus slaying his own father. And it goes on and on – until someone or something breaks the cycle and cause a game-changing paradigm shift.

It is not a question of who is the greatest but what is the greatest good I can do for others. It is not that I may increase and others decrease; but that I may decrease and the Lord may increase. This is the message of the Baptist as he prepares us for the coming of the ultimate game-changer in people’s lives.

“Repent!’ he proclaims. This call to metanoia is a call to do a life-changing paradigm shift.

Jesus said, ‘Truly I tell you, among those born of women no one has arisen greater than John the Baptist; yet the least in the kingdom of heaven is greater than he.’

Matthew 11:11-15
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