Musings About The End Of The Journey

Posted on June 15, 2015 by Spirit Moments

I am aware I am nearing the end of my journey. I have lived more years now than I have years left to live. I am in the final quarter of my life. In a way, I feel a certain exhilaration to find out what awaits me at the end of my journey.

The way I have lived my years will now determine how many more years I have to live. I am in pretty good shape but for my heart. I am now paying the wages of a diet rich in fats and cholesterol. These days, I am now more disciplined with my food, exercise and medicines, hopefully stretching out my years some days longer. If it does not work out, I will know I am but reaping what I have sown in my younger years: indulging my sweet tooth have now given me unhealthy teeth; those extra servings of juicy steaks and ribs are now sitting comfortably in my arteries; and much as I would like to go the extra mile, I can only go so far now with my muscles and legs.

I have gathered some resources to now enjoy a pretty comfortable life. I am readier and more openhanded to share what I have. I know I will leave all of these behind when it is time to go. My wish now is to be able to disencumber myself of baggages so that I can travel light on my final journey.

The way I have lived and dealt with others will determine who will be with me till the end of my journey. I have loved and loved deeply and dearly; and I have been truly blessed with loving family and good friends. I would love them to hold my hands when it is time for me to go. And when I am gone, I hope to keep on living in their hearts and memories to bring a smile or a nice warm feeling whenever they would think of me.

It has been a full life. I have learned and am still learning the beauty and truth there in love, forgiveness, compassion and generosity. I wish I had gone the extra mile more often than I did when I was younger. These days, I find that easier to do, in spite of my diminished faculties. It was at times difficult in the past to give or even just lend. But it come easier these days, even when I have less to give, share or lend than before.

It has been a beautiful life. I am filled with gratitude and loving memories. I am ready to move on to the next level but I am no particular hurry. I take life now one day at a time and look forward to what surprises God has in store for me for the day.

The Lord has made known his salvation.
~ Psalm 98

Jesus said to his disciples:
“You have heard that it was said,
An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.
But I say to you, offer no resistance to one who is evil.
When someone strikes you on your right cheek,
turn the other one to him as well.
If anyone wants to go to law with you over your tunic,
hand him your cloak as well.
Should anyone press you into service for one mile,
go with him for two miles.
Give to the one who asks of you,
and do not turn your back on one who wants to borrow.”
Matthew 5:38-42

 

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Seeds That Have Grown Into Trees

Posted on June 14, 2015 by Spirit Moments

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A solitary tree stands strong and mighty on the top of a hill
Struggling and prevailing against the severe drought in California
Where brown is the new green.

What an awesome thought
that and how all this strength and might came from a tiny seed.
I wonder if the seed had any inkling what might become of it
when it was first planted into the ground.

I had several seed-experiences yesterday with Anabelle.
How events from years long past have bloomed into arboreal splendor,
How an ordinary but repeated encounter became a caring bond,
How seeds can be replanted and grown in a new garden,
All revealing the hidden and mysterious power of God.

Fr. Tony and I were together in the seminary.
We lived together cheek by jowl for four years.
Time and space could not erase those four years.
Instead, the friendship has grown even stronger and sweeter,
And under the shade of our friendship from all those years,
We shared stories: he, of his ministry; I, of my family.

Beverly was a volunteer at our Parish Church
She was the face we always saw when we would come
to request for mass cards or arrange some schedules.
And Beverly’s unfailing smile always made each encounter a joy.
Yet, through it all and unbeknownst to us, she was fighting cancer.
Yesterday, she was laid down to rest – her seed grown into a mighty tree.
Surrounded by loving family and friends. The church was full.

Some five years ago, several  of us former seed-dwellers (seminarians)
wondered how we could make the seeds in us sprout and
for the plants to grow into trees.
We organized AMBON to catch the dew of the Bay Area
and nourish the ideals and values implanted in us.
Now, we take shelter and find comfort under the shade of the tree
Listening to Mother Mary as she speaks her words of wisdom
And to her son as He shows Himself to be there in our midst.

Lord, it is good to give thanks to you.
~ Psalm 92
Jesus said to the crowds:
“This is how it is with the kingdom of God;
it is as if a man were to scatter seed on the land
and would sleep and rise night and day
and through it all the seed would sprout and grow,
he knows not how.
Of its own accord the land yields fruit,
first the blade, then the ear, then the full grain in the ear.
And when the grain is ripe, he wields the sickle at once,
for the harvest has come.”
He said,
“To what shall we compare the kingdom of God,
or what parable can we use for it?
It is like a mustard seed that, when it is sown in the ground,
is the smallest of all the seeds on the earth.
But once it is sown, it springs up and becomes the largest of plants
and puts forth large branches,
so that the birds of the sky can dwell in its shade.”
With many such parables
he spoke the word to them as they were able to understand it.
Without parables he did not speak to them,
but to his own disciples he explained everything in private.
Mark 4:26-34
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Making My Words Matter

Posted on June 13, 2015 by Spirit Moments

To swear is to give my solemn word that what I say is true or what I say I will do I will in fact do. It is a tacit affirmation that I am in control of my words and my actions. But more often than not, I swear about things that are not within my control. Worse, I swear in God’s name over whom I have absolutely no control whatsoever. This way, I make my solemn word a profanity, or even worse a blasphemy.

When I give my word, let my ‘Yes’ mean ‘Yes’ and not ‘Maybe’ or even the very opposite of what I am saying. When I say ‘No’ let me say it without any disambiguation. A test of true character is when people can take your word for what it is worth and not be disappointed.

In many circles today and in many circumstances, talk is cheap and sworn statements are ever so often taken very lightly. Politicians engage in doublespeak. Business people equivocate in their reports. Even religious leaders sometimes engage in double-talk, invoking the name of God in vain.

Christ’s call is plain and simple: honesty and trust in our relationships, honesty in our communications with one another, transparency in our words and integrity in our actions.

The Lord is kind and merciful.
~ Psalm 103

Jesus said to his disciples:
“You have heard that it was said to your ancestors,
Do not take a false oath,
but make good to the Lord all that you vow.
But I say to you, do not swear at all;
not by heaven, for it is God’s throne;
nor by the earth, for it is his footstool;
nor by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the great King.
Do not swear by your head,
for you cannot make a single hair white or black.
Let your ‘Yes’ mean ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No’ mean ‘No.’
Anything more is from the Evil One.”
Matthew 5:33-37

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I Am Mostly Heart

Posted on June 12, 2015 by Spirit Moments

I was born on the Feast of the Sacred Heart and that is why Ima had me christened ‘Jesus’. This may also perhaps be the reason why I am a person of the heart. A hopeless romantic, like the poet Lord Byron. A romantic fool, like the errant knight Don Quixote.

I always love an intellectually stimulating conversation. I can shoot the breeze with friends for hours in an intellectual discourse and debate on the most mundane of topics. I love puzzles and I take great pleasure in challenging myself intellectually.

But when it comes to most of my life decisions, I listen to my heart. When I left home and entered the seminary, young as I was, it was my heart that urged me on. I wanted to serve the world and mankind. When I left the seminary, it was not reason but the murmurings of my heart that pushed me. Of course, when I fell in love and married Anabelle, it was all heart. I did not calculate the cost nor compute the returns nor tallied up any score. I simply listened to my heart and followed its bidding.

There are times reason and logic comes in handy. But I have always included this quotation from Pascal among my all-time favorites, “The heart has its reasons of which reason knows nothing.” (Le cœur a ses raisons que la raison ne connaît point.) For after all, love is all I need.

You will draw water joyfully from the springs of salvation.
~ Isaiah 12

Since it was preparation day,
in order that the bodies might not remain on the cross on the sabbath,
for the sabbath day of that week was a solemn one,
the Jews asked Pilate that their legs be broken
and they be taken down.
So the soldiers came and broke the legs of the first
and then of the other one who was crucified with Jesus.
But when they came to Jesus and saw that he was already dead,
they did not break his legs,
but one soldier thrust his lance into his side,
and immediately blood and water flowed out.
An eyewitness has testified, and his testimony is true;
he knows that he is speaking the truth,
so that you also may come to believe.
For this happened so that the Scripture passage might be fulfilled:
Not a bone of it will be broken.
And again another passage says:
They will look upon him whom they have pierced.
John 19:31-37

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Life Is About Relationships

Posted on June 11, 2015 by Spirit Moments

Life is all about relationships. Who a person is can only be defined by and understood through the relationships he has in his life. I cannot imagine anyone on his deathbed wishing to have spent one more day in the office, or wanting to spend some more time in the garage enjoying his favorite car, or at a desk gloating over his financial statements. I have seen many spending their last moments happily in the presence and embrace of their loved ones, family and friends who have been constant companions in their life journey.

Life, therefore, is all about building and nurturing those relationships – with others, specially my family and friends; with myself that I am accepting of who I am; with God ever aware of His presence in my life; and yes, even with nature that provides me the environment that sustains my life. Doing good is about forming and caring for these relationships. Sin is anything that destroys and harms these relationships.

It is not only outright violence that would destroy or kill relationships. Sometimes, an angry word or a judgmental statement may harm a relationship. Indifference and apathy can also cause relationships to die. Because, I myself can get hurt; I might shy away or even break off a relationship. Compassion and forgiveness are the necessary balm to heal and restore broken relationships.

The Lord has revealed to the nations his saving power.
~ Psalm 98

Jesus said to his disciples:
“I tell you, unless your righteousness surpasses that
of the scribes and Pharisees,
you will not enter into the Kingdom of heaven.
You have heard that it was said to your ancestors,
You shall not kill; and whoever kills will be liable to judgment.
But I say to you, whoever is angry with his brother
will be liable to judgment,
and whoever says to his brother,
Raqa, will be answerable to the Sanhedrin,
and whoever says, ‘You fool,’ will be liable to fiery Gehenna.
Therefore, if you bring your gift to the altar,
and there recall that your brother
has anything against you,
leave your gift there at the altar,
go first and be reconciled with your brother,
and then come and offer your gift.” 
Matthew 5:20-26

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Either-Or. Both-And.

Posted on June 10, 2015 by Spirit Moments

I am so used to thinking in dichotomies and polarities: body and soul, day and night, up and down, close and open, darkness and light, the law and the Spirit. It does not help any that this dualistic frame of mind is deeply imbedded in computer-age thinking as binary logic. It is either-or thinking. One is either good or bad, asleep or awake, a ‘one’ or a ‘zero’.

But life is so much richer to be simply encapsulated into either-or thinking. Christ, with His promise of the fullness of life, thrived in both-and thinking. Can one be a master and yet be the servant of all? Yes, it is the only real way to love and serve our fellowmen. How can the last be first and the first, last? By being meek and humble of heart, by being poor in spirit, by carrying one’s cross daily, as Christ challenged us to do. Can a grown-up man be born again? Yes, through the working of the Holy Spirit. Can a man be dead and still be alive? Yes, in the resurrection of the dead.

Both-and thinking is inclusive, welcoming and open to all the richness and possibilities of life. Either-or thinking would dismiss as a paradox or contradiction, and therefore does not exist, what both-and thinking accepts as the reality and richness of life. We are not either good or bad. In reality, we are both good and bad. We are not either strong or weak. In fact, we are both strong and weak.

This reality becomes clearer to me when I remember Christ saying, “And when I am lifted up from the earth, I will draw everyone to myself.” Teilhard de Chardin called this process Christogenesis, when and where creation all comes together and converges in point Omega, bringing us back to point Alpha with all creation in its original pristine and unsullied condition.

Holy is the Lord our God.
~ Psalm 99

Jesus said to his disciples:
“Do not think that I have come to abolish the law or the prophets.
I have come not to abolish but to fulfill.
Amen, I say to you, until heaven and earth pass away,
not the smallest letter or the smallest part of a letter
will pass from the law,
until all things have taken place.
Therefore, whoever breaks one of the least of these commandments
and teaches others to do so
will be called least in the Kingdom of heaven.
But whoever obeys and teaches these commandments
will be called greatest in the Kingdom of heaven.”
Matthew 5:17-19

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From Minutes To Moments

Posted on June 9, 2015 by Spirit Moments

It is a sunny morning, promising to be even hotter today than yesterday. I have just been given another day and everything I need to last until I get yet another day tomorrow. In fact, I am given my life one second at a time. And depending on what I do with each gift of seconds I receive, I can turn these seconds into moments. A moment can be a fleeting instant like when I come to see and understand something happening in my life in a flash of inspiration. A moment can a lingering feeling that lasts for hours like when I bask in the love of my dear ones. A moment can be a abiding sense of well-being, seeing how blessed my life has been.

525,600 minutes, 525,000 moments so dear.
525,600 minutes – how do you measure,measure a year?
In daylights, in sunsets, in midnights, in cups of coffee.
In inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife.
In 525,600 minutes – how do you measure a year in the life?
How about love? How about love? How about love?
Measure in love. Seasons of love.

Five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes are what I get in a year. But I can turn my minutes into moments. It takes only a few moments to give the rest of my minutes a unique taste and flavor, like salt spicing up a whole dish. It takes but a few moments to shed light on all those minutes, just like one little candle driving out the darkness.

There have been, are, and will be moments of weakness in my life. when all vitality seems to ebb out and to dissipate. I only have to turn to the Source of my strength to bring back the exuberance and passion in my life. And I can be salt for others as well.

There have been, are and will moments of sorrow in my life, when all around me seem to be nothing but darkness and emptiness. “Go towards the light.” a voice within me whispers in the dark emptiness. And like plants or any living creature know, I know that there is life where the light is. I can then share my light with others.

Lord, let your face shine on me.
~ Psalm 119

Jesus said to his disciples:
“You are the salt of the earth.
But if salt loses its taste, with what can it be seasoned?
It is no longer good for anything
but to be thrown out and trampled underfoot.
You are the light of the world.
A city set on a mountain cannot be hidden.
Nor do they light a lamp and then put it under a bushel basket;
it is set on a lampstand,
where it gives light to all in the house.
Just so, your light must shine before others,
that they may see your good deeds
and glorify your heavenly Father.”
Matthew 5:13-16

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Blessed!

Posted on June 8, 2015 by Spirit Moments

Prayer 05

Moses went up the mountain and came down with the Ten Commandments.
Jesus went up the mountain and proclaimed the Beatitudes.

The Mosaic Law was a series of prohibitions and interdictions.
Jesus had but one command and it is not a prohibition but an inspiration: LOVE.

The Mosaic Law was mostly about punishment, retribution and death.
Christ’s Beatitudes are about blessings, redemption and life.

St. Paul called the ministry of Moses the ministry of condemnation and the ministry of Jesus the ministry of righteousness.

Taste and see the goodness of the Lord.
~ Psalm 34

When Jesus saw the crowds, he went up the mountain,
and after he had sat down, his disciples came to him.
He began to teach them, saying:
“Blessed are the poor in spirit,
for theirs is the Kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are they who mourn,
for they will be comforted.
Blessed are the meek,
for they will inherit the land.
Blessed are they who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
for they will be satisfied.
Blessed are the merciful,
for they will be shown mercy.
Blessed are the clean of heart,
for they will see God.
Blessed are the peacemakers,
for they will be called children of God.
Blessed are they who are persecuted for the sake of righteousness,
for theirs is the Kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are you when they insult you and persecute you
and utter every kind of evil against you falsely because of me.
Rejoice and be glad,
for your reward will be great in heaven.
Thus they persecuted the prophets who were before you.”
Matthew 5:1-12

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We Are One Body

Posted on June 7, 2015 by Spirit Moments

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“We are one body, one body in Christ;
and we do not stand alone.
We are one body, one body in Christ;
and he came that we might have life.”

I think of and pray for those who are going through tough times,
beset by  their more than fair share of life’s troubles.
May they not forget that life is meant to be beautiful and a celebration.
They may have seen nothing but pain and problems,
that they may feel so detached from what life is meant to be.
They may even begin to feel that the rules and rewards of goodness
do not apply to them at all.

I am thinking of and praying for the terminally ill
who are bedridden and totally dependent on others.
May they find strength and consolation in their suffering.
May they be fortified against feelings of being useless
and being a burden to those around them.
May grace flow into their hearts and fill them with hope.

I think of and pray for people eaten by anger and hatred.
Probably because of fear and ignorance,
they would destroy the very body that keeps them alive.
They would harm and destroy others
believing they are threats or out to do them harm.
May they realize that anger and hatred wound and kill
both the victims and the perpetrators.

I think of and pray for those who have lost their zest for life.
There is beauty around them but they fail to see.
There is music in the air but they cannot hear.
There is so much to relish but their senses have become dull.
Some have brought it on themselves.
Others have been unfortunate to have people around them
who suck out the life juices from them completely.

Life is not easy and and we often walk in the dark.
But even in the darkest night, there is still a light that shines.
And the paths we trod, Somebody else have trodden before
and emerged victorious.
He gathers us from the darkness into His light.
He snatches us from the clutches of death into His new life.
He tells us we are not alone.
Where two or more of us gather in His name,
He is there and makes us one in His Body.
We are one body, one body in Christ.

The pain and suffering of everyone is my own,
thus I try to share my peace and joy.
The loneliness and emptiness of others I also feel,
thus I share whatever I have of happiness and fulfillment.
The wounds and the hurts in other hearts resonate in my own,
thus I never belittle nor trivialize their depression.
Because at the intersection of our sufferings and our joys,
at the junction of our emptiness and our fullness,
at the convergence of our hurts and our delights
is the cross that binds us together and make us one.

I will take the cup of salvation, and call on the name of the Lord.
~ Psalm 116

While they were eating,
Jesus took bread, said the blessing,
broke it, gave it to them, and said,
“Take it; this is my body.”
Then he took a cup, gave thanks, and gave it to them,
and they all drank from it.
He said to them,
“This is my blood of the covenant,
which will be shed for many.
Amen, I say to you,
I shall not drink again the fruit of the vine
until the day when I drink it new in the kingdom of God.”
Then, after singing a hymn,
they went out to the Mount of Olives.
Mark 14:22-26

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Faith and Doubts – Two Faces of One Coin

Posted on June 6, 2015 by Spirit Moments

I talk in my sleep. On a recent trip, I had to share the room with a friend. One night, in the darkness of our shared room and as he was about to drift into sleep, my friend who like me is kinda hard of hearing, heard me say something. Thinking I was talking to him, he replied. And apparently we carried on for quite a while on what seemed to be a conversation.

I sometimes wonder if my conversations with the Lord are like this. I wonder if the Lord were trying to tell me something, would I know? Or is what I believe to be what the Lord is telling me really and actually from the Lord? If the Lord were reassuring me or challenging me, would I notice?  Or, would my projects and values but the projections of my own deep-seated yearnings?

Many times, I wish I could do more good than what I have done and what I am doing? I wish I had more material resources to give an impactful and weighty contribution to the causes and people I believe in. I feel what I have to give is too little and what I can do is too insignificant. Like, I love to go and visit or meet up with friends and family but am I just imposing on them to satisfy my need for companionship? Or, I have devoted my years now to helping look after my grandchildren. Am I just taking things too easy? Or, could I not challenge myself more and be engaged in something more productive so I can have more to give or help more people? And when I give, could I not have given just a little bit more than what I did?

I struggle to be firm in my faith. I strive to see God’s Presence in my life. I seek to notice Him in the ordinary events of my everyday life. I am not always successful. As St. Paul has observed, I continue to work out my salvation with fear and trembling. I know I am frail and weak, prone to error and sin. And always, the constant companion of my faith are my endless doubts. Sometimes, doubts if the Presence is really present. At other times, doubts on whether I am truly hearing or seeing Him and His handiwork in my life. I guess true faith and enduring doubts will always go hand in hand. Graham Greene once wrote, “Doubt is the heart of the matter. Abolish all doubt, and what’s left is not faith, but absolute, heartless conviction.”

Blessed be God, who lives for ever.
~ Tobit 13:1

While Jesus was sitting down opposite the treasury,
he observed how the crowd put money into the treasury.
Many rich people put in large sums.
A poor widow also came and put in two small coins worth a few cents.
Calling his disciples to himself, he said to them,
“Amen, I say to you, this poor widow put in more
than all the other contributors to the treasury.
For they have all contributed from their surplus wealth,
but she, from her poverty, has contributed all she had,
her whole livelihood.”
Mark 12:38-44

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