Mercy, Mercy Me

Posted on April 7, 2013 by Spirit Moments

ImageToday, there will be people who will greet the new day, wishing it were their last. There will be those who will wake up to realize their pains and sorrows are still there and just wouldn’t go away. There will be those who will want to stay in their hard beds longer despite the grumbling in their stomachs because there is no food to eat. There are those who are ready to start another day seething in anger and hatred because of the bile and vitriol running through their system crying for revenge. They long for peace but there is no peace. They thirst for mercy but they is no mercy.

There is evil in the world that destroys people. There is sin in the world that is either the cause or the effect of evil in the world. Whatever estranges people from one another and destroy their relationships is sin. Whatever makes me a stranger to myself and cause me to lose my bearings is sin. Whatever I do to harm the environment and trash the planet we live in is sin. The first thing to go when sin comes in is peace. The first thing I need when peace is gone is mercy.

The blessing of Easter is new life. The first greeting of the Risen Christ is Peace. The grace he brings us is Mercy. What if I had the power to give peace, would I give people a piece of my peace? If I had the power to give mercy would I give people my mercy?

When it was evening on that day, the first day of the week, and the doors of the house where the disciples had met were locked for fear of the Jews, Jesus came and stood among them and said, ‘Peace be with you.’ After he said this, he showed them his hands and his side. Then the disciples rejoiced when they saw the Lord. Jesus said to them again, ‘Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, so I send you.’ When he had said this, he breathed on them and said to them, ‘Receive the Holy Spirit. If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven them; if you retain the sins of any, they are retained.’
John 20:19-29

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Believing Is Seeing

Posted on April 6, 2013 by Spirit Moments

One of the greatest sources of disappointments for me is being locked into and caught up with my own ideas of what to expect or of how things should be. Like, I want affirmation and affection. And I have pretty strong ideas and expectations of what and how those affirmations and affection should be. People around me give them to me in ways they know best or in ways they are used to. Often, there is a mismatch between my expectations and what iI actually get. I end up disappointed, wanting for more because while I got what I wanted but not in the manner and amount I expected.

My moments of greatest joys are when I am totally open to others and disabuse myself of my excessive self-preoccupation. Then, I see the kindness and goodness in them and how totally I am undeserving of their love and affection. I realize that others are giving more of themselves than I expect.

Strange as it may seem, that seems to be one of the principles of joyful living. Trapped in my own ideas and expectations, I close myself to experience the wonders around me happening by the hundreds every moment of my life. Allowing life to come to me in trusting openness and humble surrender, I see the beauty and nuances of life in all its colors, shapes, sounds and smell.

Trapped in their sorrow and disappointment (they expected and wanted a political messiah who would free them from the Romans), the eleven failed to see the Risen Messiah who came to free them from sin and lead them from darkness to light, from death to life, from misery to joy. Their lack of faith and stubbornness beclouded their vision, failing to see what everybody else was already seeing and experiencing – the Resurrected Christ. It was only when they started believing, that they saw the events in their stark reality and totally changed them to go into all the world and proclaim the good news to the whole creation.

Later he appeared to the eleven themselves as they were sitting at the table; and he upbraided them for their lack of faith and stubbornness, because they had not believed those who saw him after he had risen. And he said to them, “Go into all the world and proclaim the good news to the whole creation.”
Mark 16:9-15

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It is the Lord!

Posted on April 5, 2013 by Spirit Moments

There are moments in my life when the Presence I pray to every morning takes on physical dimensions that I can see, touch, smell and feel. ‘It is the Lord.‘

I was taking a nap yesterday and I was slowly waken up by someone snuggling up to me. It was Jane. ‘Lolo, let us talk. I wanna talk.’ And we talked about her games, her stories. We talked about colors and songs. We talked about what Mommy does for her. I told her stories of Daddy when he was a boy. She told me stories of the fun she enjoys with Kuya, Max and Alli. Precious moments. Unbidden. Spontaneous and natural. Felt like everything in my life before was merely a preparation for this moment. ‘It is the Lord.’

Last Tuesday was our first RCIA session after Easter Sunday. I shared a video of pictures from our retreat and the Easter Vigil celebration. Then, we got to sharing our thoughts on the spiritual journey we have been taking together now for some seven months now. We have all been touched by each others presence. We have shared insights and asked questions of one another. We have prayed and reflected together. Subtly and imperceptibly, we have become a community bound by  common search for answers and a certain presence. ‘It is the Lord.‘

I love feeling the aches in my bones and muscles after a good exercise or a hearty hike. I know that the aches are from muscles fibers that have ruptured or bones that have been pressured. But as the pain fades away, I can also feel my muscles firmer and my bones stronger. I have slowly learned not to fear or flee from pain and suffering. I do not seek them for their own sake but when they do come, I take them on as opportunities for becoming firmer in my convictions and values and stronger in my faith and character. There is someone molding me as a potter does to clay or someone sculpting a new person in me as a sculptor does to wood. ‘It is the Lord.’

Just after daybreak, Jesus stood on the beach; but the disciples did not know that it was Jesus. Jesus said to them, ‘Children, you have no fish, have you?’ They answered him, ‘No.’ He said to them, ‘Cast the net to the right side of the boat, and you will find some.’ So they cast it, and now they were not able to haul it in because there were so many fish. That disciple whom Jesus loved said to Peter, ‘It is the Lord!’
John 21:1-13

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The Fruits of Peace

Posted on April 4, 2013 by Spirit Moments

For all the progress and development that have taken place in the world, it is still a world gripped in fear and anxiety. It takes so little to throw people into panic and endless worrying. There is so much conflict in our world today. There are so many wars raging in different places around the globe. So many lives are wasted by hunger, poverty and disease. Every day seems like going through endless tempests and struggling through stormy seas. The deepest longing of the human heart is for some respite from all the storms and tempests of life.

That is exactly what the Risen Lord offered his disciples right after the resurrection: “Peace be with you.” Through his own Passover, Christ passed over from death into life, from darkness into light so that he might bring us from slavery to freedom, from sin to grace. And at his rising, he greets us and give us his “Peace!”

What is the peace of Christ? Francis of Assisi has taught us what the peace of Christ is all about. It is transforming hatred into love, meeting injury with pardon, living in faith when there is doubt, bringing hope where there is despair, lighting up when there is darkness and being joyful even in the midst of sadness.

Francis took to heart the teachings of the Lord and took these teachings literally, not in some allegorical or metaphoric sense. He understood and lived the truth that it is giving that we receive, in pardoning that we are pardoned and in dying that we are born to eternal life.

Then they told what had happened on the road, and how he had been made known to them in the breaking of the bread. While they were talking about this, Jesus himself stood among them and said to them, “Peace be with you.”
Luke 24:35-48

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My Emmaus Experience

Posted on April 3, 2013 by Spirit Moments

I am missing our house in Filinvest. Many of our friends have commented that house had a distinct feel of peace and quiet, with a feeling of deep abiding joy about it. Some friends who are psychic have even said there were spirits dwelling in our house. It is true. I feel exactly that way about that house. It could be that the ambiance in our house could also be all our ‘left-over’ thoughts, our vibes, our aura and those of all the people who have come to visit or stay with us in that house. There is definitely a presence in that place that is truly palpable.

I believe in the physical resurrection of the body. Scientifically, it is very difficult to explain and understand the phenomenon. But there are more things in heaven and on earth than are observable and explainable by science and technology. Many people believe in auras, an invisible bubble of energy that surrounds every person. The aura reflects what a person deeply is. And where he moves around, he leaves traces of that aura. Many people believe in sympathetic vibrations, how my feelings can resonate with what your are feeling. We diffuse these waves of resonance into our immediate surroundings. Even in spiritual lore, many people believe in halos, that glow of goodness and holiness surrounding good and holy persons. There is a reality in our lives than is greater than the limits imposed by our physical bodies.

I have always loved the story of the two disciples on the road to Emmaus. Dejected, depressed and downcast, they were fleeing Jerusalem after the tragic ending of their misadventure with the leader they thought was the Messiah. Then they encountered the Risen Lord. It was a definite presence that they met and felt. And he was for real. When they recognized him, he vanished from their sight but remained forever in their hearts, burning with the grace of his Presence.

I too have encountered the Risen Lord. I remind myself during this Easter season of the times I have felt and seen the Risen Lord’s Presence, how he has set my heart burning. there are many times I forget the reality of this Presence in my life, sometimes refusing to even acknowledge it. But I cannot deny the events and happenings in my life when I have encountered the Risen Lord in my own Emmaus – not once but time and again.

As they came near the village to which they were going, he walked ahead as if he were going on. But they urged him strongly, saying, ‘Stay with us, because it is almost evening and the day is now nearly over.’ So he went in to stay with them. When he was at the table with them, he took bread, blessed and broke it, and gave it to them. Then their eyes were opened, and they recognized him; and he vanished from their sight. They said to each other, ‘Were not our hearts burning within us while he was talking to us on the road, while he was opening the scriptures to us?’
Luke 24:13-32

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In My Heart, I Know My Savior Lives

Posted on April 2, 2013 by Spirit Moments

As a little boy, I used to pray for God to make me Superboy. I remember praying for this fervently every night when I said my prayers before going to bed. And I believed God would do it for me. Of course, I never got to fly; although I have recurring dreams of flying. I never acquired any of Superboy’s powers. But several years later, sometime during my career with a pharma company, I had just finished making a presentation and facilitating the discussions that followed. During the break, I overheard a colleague who did not particularly like me say to the others: “Superboy is at it again.”  She said it of course reeking with sarcasm but I had to smile because the remark had me remembering my prayer as a child. God did deliver, although in a totally different manner. I had a smug feeling that the monicker my colleagues had for me behind my back was my prayer as a child.

Often, it takes time for me to realize and see that what I have prayed for or wished for is already here. It also took some time for the apostles and the disciples to realize that the resurrection had taken place. For them, the end was Calvary. They had never expected Christ would rise from the dead. Their worst fear, and also that of the High Priest and the other religious leaders, was someone would take the body away – as the final insult to their would-be leader-messiah.In fact, after the crucifixion, they were huddled together in some hiding place full of sadness and disappointment mixed with fear and trembling for the Jewish leaders and the Roman authorities.

And all of a sudden, Christ was there. Their deepest hope was staring them in their faces. Their joy and happiness was already standing there before them. And yet they did not see him. It took a while before they could experience what Mary was telling them: “I have seen the Lord.”

I too have seen the Lord. But I have also missed him many times. He was there and I did not see him: within me, in people I encounter everyday, in nature, in silence and solitude. The Risen Lord could walk through walls and could teleport. What did the apostles and disciples do to be able to see the Risen Christ? How can I sharpen my senses to be more sensitive to his presence with me and around me today? This I pray for.

Mary Magdalene went and announced to the disciples, “I have seen the Lord“; and she told them that he had said these things to her.
John 20:11-18

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The Morning After

Posted on April 1, 2013 by Spirit Moments
The morning after is always an afterglow of the previous day. If the night before was one of wild partying and heavy drinking, the morning after would be a bad hangover, with severe headaches while trying to recall what had happened or even how one got home. If the day before was one of unmitigated pain and sorrow, the morning after would be a feeling of unyielding misery, of the world slowly coming to an end, of tears misting the eyes constantly. If the day before was happy one, the morning after would one of abiding joy, of everything being right in the world, a warm and comforting afterglow of light, love and life.
The morning after Good Friday was a Black Saturday: bleak, dark, total loss and defeat. The apostles must have felt all their hopes and dreams dashed as they watched the events of Good Friday unfolding according to their greatest fears. They have followed and tossed their lot with a loser who had been condemned as a common criminal. And at the dawning of yet another day, the women in their group came to tell them that the tomb where they fearfully laid him was empty. What else could possibly happen to make things worse?
Now, I imagine them the morning after that first Easter: abiding joy, basking in the afterglow of the abiding presence of one who has promised never to live them orphans, wearing a smile that comes from the realization that, by the power and grace of God, he has done exactly what he had said he would do – he has risen from the dead. They were still trying to digest what has happened. They were only beginning to understand it all. They were seeing him and feeling his presence in a totally different manner but no less real than when he had been with them in flesh and blood.
The morning after may fade away eventually and be totally forgotten like a bad hangover. Or, the morning after may be the beginning of a totally new way to seeing reality and the start of a radically new life like the Easter experience of the apostles and the first disciples. I will allow and pray that the power and grace of the Resurrection experience also bring the afterglow of the morning after from that first Easter morn into my life and of those who are dear and near to me.

So they left the tomb quickly with fear and great joy, and ran to tell his disciples. Suddenly Jesus met them and said, “Greetings!” And they came to him, took hold of his feet, and worshiped him. Then Jesus said to them, “Do not be afraid; go and tell my brothers to go to Galilee; there they will see me.”
Matthew 28:8-10

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Happiness is a Present Because I Can Always Make It Present

Posted on March 31, 2013 by Spirit Moments

ImageIt is early Easter morning. A happy day. A joyous occasion. Often, when we are overwhelmed by our grief,  fears or anxieties, we fail to see happiness even as it already stares us in the face – just like the apostles and the disciples on that first Easter morn. Just like me when I keep living in the past or hoping for a better future – I fail to see the joys of the present.

Since moving to the US some five years ago, life for Anabelle and me has pretty much settled to the very routine and ordinary. There are times I miss the hectic schedules I used to keep, the big projects I used the manage, and the days when life seemed to be one big party after another. Today, life is very predictable: driving the kids to school, keeping house for Martin and family, movie date on Monday nights, RCIA meetings on Tuesday evenings, ILM classes on Wednesday evening, hiking or family gatherings on weekends. Ho-hum.

This Easter morning, I am realizing that my cup runneth over – with committed love, with deep happiness and abiding joy. And I literally count my blessings:

  • I am happy I can take so many nature hikes like I have never done before. I have hoarded pictures, stored a lot of memories and gained so many insights just soaking myself in nature.
  • I am happy Anabelle and I can do gardening together. We often bicker over where and what and how to plant but smiles are inevitable when we see the flowers bloom and the tomatoes ripe for picking.
  • I am happy singing songs – real ones, made up ones, crazy ones – as we drive Jane to school. Every day is different as Jane always has a new song to sing or a new way to sing an old one or has just invented another set of new gibberish words she has put music into.
  • I am happy watching Jonathan and friends playing their interminable games, shrieking in sheer delights, playing games I am nowhere near the first step in understanding, much less learning how to play.
  • I am happy for the early morning hours of silence and aloneness when I can engage the Lord in prayer.
  • I am happy to explore new places or new corners in old places around the beautiful Bay Area where we are.
  • I am happy the different festivals and sampling the different cuisines of the different cultures that make up the multicultural communities around the area.

Yes, life is what you make of it and happiness is truly a decision. I am strengthened by the thought that no matter what life deals me, I can always decide to be happy. There are certain givens that enable me to decide to be happy. My life is a given – as a present, unmerited. The first condition to be happiness is the being here. Then, there is the love I receive everyday – as a present, undeserved and often unconditional – from God, my family and my friends. With life and live, I am equipped for to make everyday a happy day.

The women and Peter and John, on that first Easter morning, just saw their grief turn into panic and anxiety, as they stared at the empty tomb. It took a while before they realized that they have come upon the source of unending happiness and abiding joy. This is what Easter is all about: an intense encounter with the Source of eternal life, immortal love and perpetual light.

Then Simon Peter came, following him, and went into the tomb. He saw the linen wrappings lying there, and the cloth that had been on Jesus’ head, not lying with the linen wrappings but rolled up in a place by itself. Then the other disciple, who reached the tomb first, also went in, and he saw and believed; for as yet they did not understand the scripture, that he must rise from the dead.
John 20:1-9

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ImageThe sun sets and the day ends. A man comes to the end of his life and he dies. A flower blooms in beautiful colors, then it fades away and dies. A meteor streaks across the sky, brightening the darkness of the night for a moment and then it is gone. Such is the natural order of things. Everything eventually comes to an end.

And yet, do things really come to an end? Another day dawns and the whole cycle of life starts anew. With spring, the flowers come back and break into a wild explosion of colors into summer. New meteors are continuously spit out by the millions from the stars that have guided and inspired men since time immemorial. And deep inside me, there is this something or someone that assures me that I shall not die but will go on and on. How, where or why, I have no idea but it does feel like a sure thing.

Eternal life. Resurrection. Are they just idle tales? Are these but the deep-seated wish of a self-conscious life that refuses to fade away and die? Or the desperate longing of people wanting to prolong the little joys they enjoy or to find justice and justification for all the difficulties they have gone through? Science has enabled man to understand the circadian rhythm, the movement of the seasons, the movements and configuration of planets, stars and galaxies. Man, through science, has plumbed into the smallest particle in matter and has learned that matter does not die. At the smallest level, particles of matter just keep on beating, incessantly and eternally. But science stops at affirming man’s destiny for eternal life and the resurrection.

My faith affirms and gives expression to his deep longing in me, telling me that it is the truth and it will come to fruition as it did for Christ on that first Easter morning. My faith gives voice and language to what I feel deeply inside but have difficulty expressing and believing. He is risen and so will I.

The women were terrified and bowed their faces to the ground, but the men said to them, “Why do you look for the living among the dead? He is not here, but has risen. Remember how he told you, while he was still in Galilee, that the Son of Man must be handed over to sinners, and be crucified, and on the third day rise again.” Then they remembered his words, and returning from the tomb, they told all this to the eleven and to all the rest. Now it was Mary Magdalene, Joanna, Mary the mother of James, and the other women with them who told this to the apostles. But these words seemed to them an idle tale, and they did not believe them. But Peter got up and ran to the tomb; stooping and looking in, he saw the linen cloths by themselves; then he went home, amazed at what had happened.
Luke 24:1-12

Posted on March 30, 2013 by Spirit Moments | Comments Off on He is Risen and so Will I.

The Fool on the Hill

Posted on March 29, 2013 by Spirit Moments

ImageMy favorite comics character when I was growing up was Superman. He had tremendous strength and he was invincible, except when it came to kryptonite. I could not get my hands on enough Superman comic books to read and enjoy. When my sons were growing up I tried to pass on this pleasure to my sons, who unfortunately went for Batman instead. What? Mere human Batman? He gets hurt, he is vulnerable. And Martin, at ten years of age, explained it all to me: “What’s the fun in being a hero if you can’t lose?”

I am now thinking, do I look at Christ as someone like Superman – all mighty and invincible, a sure winner in the end no matter what happens for now? That in spite of all the pain and sorrow, he will always win in the end? And my faith in this Jesus somehow becomes a crutch, a security blanket of sorts? That if I threw my lot with him, I will eventually come out a winner? That all the difficulties are just mere illusions since perfect joy will surely come to me in the end? All the disappointments and the struggling is just make-believe since I already know the outcome of my story? That if I believed in him, I could just say “I’ve let go, the need to know why Cause You know better than I”?

I could be treading dangerous grounds here. There were a number of heresies in the past, condemned by the Church, that taught Christ only appeared to be human or that he was not fully human or that he was not truly God. Indeed, the cross is a sign of contradiction. If God is almighty and all-knowing, if he is all-good and loving unconditionally, why did it all come to this? Isn’t there a simpler and easier way to accomplish what God wants of us? After all, he is God isn’t he? The cross raises more questions for me than provide me with answers. Looking at Christ on the cross, I feel the emptiness of his “Why have you abandoned me?”. And I thirst for quick and easy answers. But even in the midst of all these questions and uncertainties, there are mothers to be looked after, sons to be raised, people to be forgiven and relate to, the needy to be served and saved.

Believing in the man on the cross has not made life easy for me. But it has made me want to do my share in making life easy and meaningful for others. It has made more patient and understanding of people and events. I think I have become more loving and humbler. I do feel sadness and sorrow quite regularly. I know these are part of being human. I do not wish for them to vanish as I look at this man on the cross and just stay with him. Will I also rise like him? I may not be so absolutely certain but I love it that he has taught me how to love.

“The hour has come for the Son of Man to be glorified. Amen, amen, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains just a grain of wheat; but if it dies, it produces much fruit. Whoever loves his life loses it and whoever hates his life in this world will preserve it for eternal life. Whoever serves me must follow me, and where I am, there also will my servant be. The Father will honor whoever serves me.  “I am troubled now. Yet what should I say? ‘Father, save me from this hour’? But it was for this purpose that I came to this hour.  Father, glorify your name.” Then a voice came from heaven, “I have glorified it and will glorify it again.” The crowd there heard it and said it was thunder; but others said, “An angel has spoken to him.” Jesus answered and said, “This voice did not come for my sake but for yours. Now is the time of judgment on this world; now the ruler of this world will be driven out. And when I am lifted up from the earth, I will draw everyone to myself.”  He said this indicating the kind of death he would die. 
John 12: 23-33

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