Believing Is Seeing

One of the greatest sources of disappointments for me is being locked into and caught up with my own ideas of what to expect or of how things should be. Like, I want affirmation and affection. And I have pretty strong ideas and expectations of what and how those affirmations and affection should be. People around me give them to me in ways they know best or in ways they are used to. Often, there is a mismatch between my expectations and what iI actually get. I end up disappointed, wanting for more because while I got what I wanted but not in the manner and amount I expected.

My moments of greatest joys are when I am totally open to others and disabuse myself of my excessive self-preoccupation. Then, I see the kindness and goodness in them and how totally I am undeserving of their love and affection. I realize that others are giving more of themselves than I expect.

Strange as it may seem, that seems to be one of the principles of joyful living. Trapped in my own ideas and expectations, I close myself to experience the wonders around me happening by the hundreds every moment of my life. Allowing life to come to me in trusting openness and humble surrender, I see the beauty and nuances of life in all its colors, shapes, sounds and smell.

Trapped in their sorrow and disappointment (they expected and wanted a political messiah who would free them from the Romans), the eleven failed to see the Risen Messiah who came to free them from sin and lead them from darkness to light, from death to life, from misery to joy. Their lack of faith and stubbornness beclouded their vision, failing to see what everybody else was already seeing and experiencing – the Resurrected Christ. It was only when they started believing, that they saw the events in their stark reality and totally changed them to go into all the world and proclaim the good news to the whole creation.

Later he appeared to the eleven themselves as they were sitting at the table; and he upbraided them for their lack of faith and stubbornness, because they had not believed those who saw him after he had risen. And he said to them, “Go into all the world and proclaim the good news to the whole creation.”
Mark 16:9-15

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