I Love You All the Way Up to the Moon and Back

Posted on May 17, 2013 by Spirit Moments

One of my favorite routine and recurring exchange with Jane is when I ask her: “How much do you love Lolo?” In the beginning, she would fully stretch out her little arms and say “This much!”. Then her response became “I love you all the way up to the sky.” And then later on, her reply became “I love you all the way up to the moon and back.” And lately, she has been saying “I love you all the way up to the moon and back, a million times.” But in her naughty moments or when I have upset her, her reply would be “This much.” as she holds up index finger and thumb and make a space between them as small as possible. But she still loves me nonetheless.

Ordinary day. Ordinary words. Routine banter. But profound meaning. Priceless bonding. Unfaltering presence.

The essence of true love is to ask and to give and to affirm without limits and without conditions – all the way up to the moon and back a million times. When lovers sing “Fly me to the moon” they are not kidding. Love brings us to limitless and unbelievable flights of fancy, where dreams become realities. Everything that the human imagination can dream of and the human heart can feel are possible even if the human mind finds these impossible or even improbable.

Thus in my exchange of love with Jane, I often wonder: who is teaching whom? Am I teaching Jane and preparing her for life? Or, is she teaching me and preparing me for my next life? Am I the teacher and she my student? Or am I the student and she is teaching me things she still remembers where she came from and where I am going and soon coming home to. I have no answers but I find these questions very comforting indeed.

He said to him the third time, “Simon son of John, do you love me?” Peter felt hurt because he said to him the third time, “Do you love me?” And he said to him, “Lord, you know everything; you know that I love you.” Jesus said to him, “Feed my sheep. Very truly, I tell you, when you were younger, you used to fasten your own belt and to go wherever you wished. But when you grow old, you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will fasten a belt around you and take you where you do not wish to go.” (He said this to indicate the kind of death by which he would glorify God.) After this he said to him, “Follow me.”
John 21:15-19

Posted in Life, Love, Presence | Tagged , , , , | Comments Off on I Love You All the Way Up to the Moon and Back

“Love Isn’t Love ‘Til You Give It Away”

Posted on May 16, 2013 by Spirit Moments

I have always loved these lines of a song from “The Sound of Music”:
A bell is no bell ’til you ring it
A song is no song ’til you sing it
And love in your heart wasn’t put there to stay
Love isn’t love… ‘Til you give it away

The essence of love is in the giving. But you cannot give away what you do not have. Thus, the beginning of love is a true and healthy love of self. If I find myself loveable, then I will find myself worth giving to others. Sometimes though this love of self stops there and it becomes stale and selfish narcissism.

There is a lot of anger and hatred in the world. But there is also a lot of love and lot of generous giving. We only need to choose to see and believe in goodness and love. For every man that rises against another in anger and hatred, there are hundreds who willingly choose to do good and believe in love – to heal the wounds inflicted by that anger and hatred, to care for those hurt by the violence, to take under their wings those who are in need and in trouble, to hug and dry the tears of those in sorrow.

Love, in its outward trajectory, goes out in ripples that create a community of lovers and loved ones. And in every community, there will be those who will act selfishly and for themselves alone. But there will be more who will care and share, who will be willing to forgive and give of themselves, who will embrace in their arms even the unembrace-able, who will see beauty and goodness in everyone. For true love is a choice, a decision.

Love, like life, will not be denied. It will grow and grow it will in the most unexpected places, in the most improbable manner and in the most opportune time.

‘Righteous Father, the world does not know you, but I know you; and these know that you have sent me. I made your name known to them, and I will make it known, so that the love with which you have loved me may be in them, and I in them.’
John 17: 20-26

Posted in Life, Love | Tagged , | 1 Comment

Wasting Time Is Not Always Counter-productive

Posted on May 15, 2013 by Spirit Moments

In today’s world, economics and business drive much of what is happening in our daily lives. Numbers and cost-benefit ratios drive a lot of decisions made in economics and business. Efficiency and productivity are the the mantra of many economists and businessmen today. Profit is the god before whom they worship.

Yet, there are many things that do not compute and do not make sense economically nor business-wise. People in love do not count the cost when they decide to get married. Oh, there may be a few who do and their marriage is off on the wrong footing. Parents do not usually do a cost-benefit analysis when they decide to have children. There may be a few who do and I have only pity for children raised by such parents.

I am not productive anymore in the economic sense. I am helping in the raising of my grandchildren. It is not a job but truly a work of love and I draw no salary. But what I am doing is no less important than when I was running a big corporation. The joys I now enjoy are deeper and less fleeting than when I was winning market share for the companies I had worked for.

I love reading through the last words of Jesus to his disciples at the Last Supper. I can feel the love he had for them and the intimate connection he had with the Father. I can feel the warmth and glow of his feelings for them and how he was willing to lay down his life for them. Such are the joys and fulfillment I am now enjoying seeing and being with Jonathan and Jane as they are growing up. I gladly give up my time for them – just to play, read them stories, drive them around and just waste this time with and on them. Hours that used to command hundreds of dollars in the labor market. In the process, I get back big embraces, warm kisses and tender words of love and endearment – often at the most unexpected times and in the most unexpected situations and places. Priceless!

I am not asking you to take them out of the world, but I ask you to protect them from the evil one. They do not belong to the world, just as I do not belong to the world. Sanctify them in the truth; your word is truth. As you have sent me into the world, so I have sent them into the world. And for their sakes I sanctify myself, so that they also may be sanctified in truth.’
John 17:11-19

Posted in Love | Tagged , , , , | Comments Off on Wasting Time Is Not Always Counter-productive

I Am Chosen

Posted on May 14, 2013 by Spirit Moments

We live in a finite world with finite resources. Oil will someday run out and we have to find alternative sources of energy. The forest cover of the world is thinning out and could very well disappear if we do not replace the trees we have cut down. Even my body and physical abilities are limited and subject to increasing degradation as I age. And yet, we live as though we are limitless beings. Man has insatiable needs and wants. He literally wants the moon and the stars. For example, businesses are adverse to the concept of putting limits to their growth. The markets reacts very negatively whenever actual growth is below projected growth.

One of the deepest longings of man is to love and be loved. And we all yearn for total and unconditional love. But our capacity to love is limited by our finiteness. Our capacity to receive love is likewise limited by our finite nature. God’s love for us is infinite but our capacity to receive and understand it is limited. Saint Paul, reflecting on our relationship with God, shared with us that now we see imperfectly as in a reflection and we understand only in parts.

A good starting point in appreciating this truth is that God has chosen me and has made the first move. I sometimes believe and feel, I chose God first. But it was God who chose me. I did nothing to deserve to be alive and yet he called me out of nothingness into existence. I had very simple dreams as a child and yet I am always amazed when I look back at my life and everything that has happened in it: the people he has blessed me with, the events that have brought me great joy and happiness, the graces and blessing she continually pours on me and my loved ones everyday. The fact that I am writing this now is a testament to his continued and continuing presence in my life.

Really, my God is an awesome God and there is no other than He.

“You did not choose me but I chose you. And I appointed you to go and bear fruit, fruit that will last, so that the Father will give you whatever you ask him in my name. I am giving you these commands so that you may love one another.”
John 15:9-17

Posted in Faith, Presence | Tagged , , | Comments Off on I Am Chosen

Living is About Giving

Posted on May 13, 2013 by Spirit Moments

There is a lot self-centered and selfish individualism in the world today. Many people have been influenced by the writings and philosophy of Ayn Rand who extolled rational and ethical egoism and belittled altruism. This kind of thinking eventually results in a Win-Lose or even a Win attitude with no concern for the other. This attitude always asks “What’s in it for me and how do I get it – for me?” Ayn Rand may have been influenced by Sartre who classified everything that is into en soi (an inanimate object that just exists in/by itself) and pour soi (a conscious being that exists for itself). There is no room for the other in such a philosophy. In fact, Sartre once famously wrote: “Hell is other people.”

One danger I have to watch against in my daily prayer is the tendency to become self-preoccupied or even too self-centered. There is the constant danger that my prayers are about my pains, my sorrows, my joys, my happiness. I cannot just stop at myself in my prayers. Whatever I gain in prayer, be it peace, courage, insight, or inspiration must be harnessed for and in the love and service of others. For it is not in the order of things in the universe to exist just in and for one’s self.

The sun gives off its tremendous energy to give life, light and heat to its surroundings, specially to life on earth as we know it. Trees give off oxygen to support life for conscious beings like us. And we breathe out carbon dioxide to sustain the trees that keep us alive. A man and a woman each give a part of themselves to create another and new life. Parenting is about giving. Living with others in this world is about giving. Christ left us with just one commandment, the commandment of Love which is the commandment of Giving.

I pray that my quest for peace and courage in life be but the means for me to be a more loving and a more giving person, in the service of others.

‘I have said this to you, so that in me you may have peace. In the world you face persecution. But take courage; I have conquered the world!’
John 16:29-33

Posted in Love, Nature, The Good News | Tagged , , , , | 2 Comments

Portals and Thresholds

Posted on May 12, 2013 by Spirit Moments

Image

There are thresholds events in the lives of great people that define their lives into the ‘before’ and ‘after’.  Such events are usually life-changing ones. The Ascension was one such event. From a timorous bunch, the disciples became men filled with the Spirit and great joy and went forth with great courage to proclaim the Good News. Ignatius, offering his sword to Our Lady at her Shrine at the Abbey of Montserrat near Manresa, was totally transformed from being a knight of an earthly king to becoming a knight of the Eternal King. A fitting tribute to mothers, today being Mothers Day.

But that is for great people. For ordinary mortals like me, it seems life a but a series of one threshold after another. I have had my own share of portals and thresholds. I am not really sure which one was the defining moment that would divide my life into ‘before’ and ‘after’. Was it when I entered the seminary in Mater Boni or when I left San Carlos Seminary? Was it the day I met Anabelle in Xavier School or when I wed her in Pius X Catholic Center? Was it when I got my first job or when I got my first promotion? Was it when I first became a father when Martin was born or when I first held Jonathan in my arms?

It was also one threshold after another for the apostles and disciples. What was their defining moment? Was it when they responded to the call of Jesus and left everything to follow him? Was it when they first witnessed his works of wonder and realized he truly was the Son of God? Was it when they first listened to his words of life and learned what the fullness of life and the Kingdom of God and the Commandment of Love were all about? Was it when they were looking at him crucified on the cross and fearful that this was the end? Was it when he rose from the dead and they realized their faith had been justified? Or was it on the day of the Ascension?

My life has been a journey, no less blessed than that of the apostles and other great saints. It is the same call I have responded as they did. And the journey is one portal and threshold after another, with each one leading me up one level higher every time. My response to the call has led me to a relationship that is on-going and perpetually being renewed. And the best thing about this journey and this relationship is that the best is yet to come. Just when the apostles thought they have finally come to the end, the Lord always came up with another surprising turn and led them up to the next level. And so it is in my life. Thank God for portals and thresholds.

Then he led them out as far as Bethany, and, lifting up his hands, he blessed them. While he was blessing them, he withdrew from them and was carried up into heaven. And they worshiped him, and returned to Jerusalem with great joy; and they were continually in the temple blessing God.
Luke 24:46-53

Posted in Discipleship, Presence, The Good News | Tagged , , , , , | Comments Off on Portals and Thresholds

What I Pray For

Posted on May 11, 2013 by Spirit Moments

In my life, there is nothing that I fervently prayed for that did not come true. Early in life, I prayed for a happy and fulfilling one – like most everyone I suppose. I even described what would make up that happy and fulfilling life. In due time, everything I prayed for became realities, much richer and much fuller than what I described in my prayer. And all of these happened so naturally – just like things falling into their proper places. The greatest temptation I have had to watch out for was pride: that these things happened because I worked for them and deserved them and therefore I owed no one anything. The premise is true but the conclusion is not. Sure, I worked hard for these things. But because I prayed for them, the Lord accompanied me on the journey. I owe him big and I am grateful.

These days, prayer for me is less and less about asking for things. It is more and more about being amazed with what God has done and is doing to me  and in my life, in the events of the day and in the people he sends my way. It is more and more about thanking him for the graces he pours on me – unmerited and in great abundance, pressed down, shaken together and flowing over. It is more and more about being aware of a Presence that is loving, protective and bringing to me and my loved ones joy that is complete.

Jesus said to his disciples, “Very truly, I tell you, if you ask anything of the Father in my name, he will give it to you. Until now you have not asked for anything in my name. Ask and you will receive, so that your joy may be complete.
John 16:23-28

Posted in Faith, Life, Love, Presence | Tagged , , | Comments Off on What I Pray For

Mothers!

Posted on May 10, 2013 by Spirit Moments

In two more days, we shall be celebrating Mothers’ Day. From Day 1 (of conception, not birth), there has always been a special and strong bond between mother and child: undying gratitude of the child for the gift of life from the mother, unparallelled joy of the mother for having brought a human being into the world. Because of this, we call everyone and everything that is a source of life ‘Mother’. Our mother in Faith is Mother Mary. The planet we live in is Mother Earth. The community that nurtures us in our New Life is our Holy Mother the Church.

It is in the bosom of Ima that I learned what undying and unconditional love is: she kept awake when I was sick; she gave up her personal joys to give way to mine; she shared in my joys and successes like no other person did. I am amazed by Anabelle on how beautifully she has raised our three sons. I was away often but she was always there for them. We both were working but she was always present during the times the three boys needed mothering and even fathering. I love to watch mothers as they walk with their children through their innocence and childhood, through their turbulent teen years, and even through their independent and sometimes troubles young adulthood, with a love that is truly unconditional and undying. The love never diminishes but simply keeps on getting stronger and perpetually giving with the passage of the years.

I am particularly amazed by the mothers of this generation – raising and preparing their children for an emerging world which they themselves barely understand and have only an inkling of what it is going to be. Imagine growing up still with rotary or touch tone dial telephones and then parenting young ones in a world of smart phones. Or, growing up watching TV shows or videos on colored or even black and white television sets and then parenting kids as they watch their favorite programs or videos on HD or even 3D TVs. Or, growing up playing games with physical toys out there in the yard or inside the house and then parenting children totally engrossed online playing in virtual worlds.

Sometimes, I envy Anabelle for the special bond and attachment she has with our sons. But then I remember my own special affection for Ima. And then I imagine Tatang with that trademark smile of his on his face, happily satisfied and nursing the thought that he has done well in choosing such as amazing woman to be the mother of his children.

I pray and thank God for all the mothers in the world. It is a happier place and more homey because of them.

Jesus said, ‘Very truly, I tell you, you will weep and mourn, but the world will rejoice; you will have pain, but your pain will turn into joy. When a woman is in labor, she has pain, because her hour has come. But when her child is born, she no longer remembers the anguish because of the joy of having brought a human being into the world.
John 16:20-23

Posted in Family, Life, Love | Tagged , , , | Comments Off on Mothers!

Words and the Richness of Life

Posted on May 9, 2013 by Spirit Moments

Often, all it takes is a little while to see what one is looking for, to see the universe in a grain of sand, for the moment to become the eternal now. In my younger days, one of the thoughts that held me enthralled for a long time is this: it is when I am most individual that I am most universal. I hold within me the the truths and realities of the entire cosmos, having been born out of stardust.

Life is such a simple yet complex experience. Life, simply, is. It is meant to be lived one day at a time and it simply unfolds as the days pass by. My reason and intellect help me understand this gradual unfolding. And yet, life is very complex. As it unfolds, my imagination opens all sorts of possibilities for me. In my imagination, I can conjure colors and smells for which I have no words to describe them with. And my feelings are so wide ranging that their gamut seems infinite, which it might indeed be.

Because life is so infinitely rich, it beggars our human capacity to express it. Words are inadequate to fully describe what life truly is. And Christ, who came that we might have life and have it to the full, often seemed to speak in contradictions. His final words to his disciples at his last supper were so full of love yet also so mysterious, so mystical, almost esoteric.

When I am silent, when I stop using words and just stay with my feelings and imagination; that is when true encounter with God happens. Is this the truth or is this just my imagination?

Jesus knew that they wanted to ask him, so he said to them, “Are you discussing among yourselves what I meant when I said, ‘A little while, and you will no longer see me, and again a little while, and you will see me’? Very truly, I tell you, you will weep and mourn, but the world will rejoice; you will have pain, but your pain will turn into joy.”
John 16:16-20

Posted in Encounter, Faith, Presence | Tagged | Comments Off on Words and the Richness of Life

On Saying Goodbyes and Facing the End

Posted on May 8, 2013 by Spirit Moments

In the Gospel of John, Jesus took a very long time saying goodbye to his disciples. His Farewell discourse took all of four long chapters. I have never been good at saying goodbye myself. In fact, I hate goodbyes. I usually am content to let relationships just slip away with no real goodbyes or real closures, hoping most of the times I would just pick up from where we left off the last time.

I have never been much of an endings-person. I am good at beginnings. I love beginnings. I am inspired and fired up whenever there is a new project. In the company I was employed the longest, my superiors usually tapped me to begin new initiatives or to set up new departments or to initiate new functions in the organization.

I hate endings and saying goodbyes. In many instances, I simply moved on to something else rather than wind up or finish what I have started. Often, others who choose to stay reap the fruits of the initiatives I have started.

Now that I am nearing the end of my journey on earth, I am struggling against a life-time habit of not wanting things to come to an end. I am not sad nor troubles that the end is coming. I am concerned about playing my cards right or doing the rights things and not fumbling at the very last moment. I know and feel there are still many things to be said and many things yet to happen. This is exciting and I keep wondering how it is all going to end. Now that I have more time for being alone with God, I pray that I become more sensitive and open to the promptings of the Spirit of truth.

Jesus said, ‘I still have many things to say to you, but you cannot bear them now. When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all the truth.”
John 16:12-15

Posted in Encounter, Faith, Life | Tagged , , | 2 Comments