Fears and Betrayals

Posted on March 31, 2015 by Spirit Moments

I have made many mistakes in my life. I have made many wrong choices, took many wrong turns, often said and did the wrong things. Many times, I have been too timid or too afraid or just too plain lazy to have done or said the right thing. Even on my best days and with the best intentions, I have managed to stumble and fall.

And yet, it amazes me, my life has been full of blessings in spite of the miscues and the mistakes. My life could have been a mess but it is full of beautiful moments and memories. My life could have been dull and ordinary but there has hardly been a dull moment. It has been an exciting journey.

If the past is any indication of the future – and it should be – there are more and better things in store for me. There are moments of fear and anxiety, I anguish about what is yet to come and what still lies ahead. That perhaps at the last coda of my song or the last canto of my poem or the last episode of my story, I fumble and betray everything and everyone I have lived for. It is a scary thought. I am not afraid of the dark but sometimes I fear the coming of the night.

I will sing of your salvation.
~ Psalm 71

When he had left, Jesus said,
“Now is the Son of Man glorified, and God is glorified in him.
If God is glorified in him, God will also glorify him in himself,
and he will glorify him at once.
My children, I will be with you only a little while longer.
You will look for me, and as I told the Jews,
‘Where I go you cannot come,’ so now I say it to you.”

Simon Peter said to him, “Master, where are you going?”
Jesus answered him,
“Where I am going, you cannot follow me now,
though you will follow later.”
Peter said to him,
“Master, why can I not follow you now?
I will lay down my life for you.”
Jesus answered, “Will you lay down your life for me?
Amen, amen, I say to you, the cock will not crow
before you deny me three times.”
John 13:31-33, 36-38

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Feastings and Get-togethers

Posted on March 30, 2015 by Spirit Moments

It must be the Filipino in me that loves get-togethers, reunions, feasts and celebrations. It takes the smallest of excuses for Filipinos to get together, feast and celebrate. There are always birthdays and anniversaries to celebrate. Somebody leaves, and we get together for a despedida party. Somebody arrives and there is a bienvenida party. More and more, I see wakes where the food is catered to feed all the people coming together. Even when somebody is confined in a hospital; it becomes a social event, an excuse for people to get together and eat.

It is at such gatherings that the ties that bind us together are formed, created and strengthened. Joys and successes are shared and therefore multiplied and strengthened. Sorrows and adversities are shared and therefore divided and thus made smaller and easier to bear. Food is secondary; but, after a while, preparing food for so many gatherings makes people better cooks and the food becomes more relishing.

This trait in the Filipinos find great resonance in the life and stories of Jesus. He loved to be with people. He relished getting together with them and feasting with them. When He proclaimed the coming Kingdom of God, He likened it to a great banquet. That is why Filipinos loved coming to the table of the Lord.

As the Holy Week starts in earnest, I pray and think about of all people gathering together in love, in friendship and in celebration- among families, among communities, among churches, among countries.

The Lord is my light and my salvation.
~ Psalm 27

Six days before Passover Jesus came to Bethany,
where Lazarus was, whom Jesus had raised from the dead.
They gave a dinner for him there, and Martha served,
while Lazarus was one of those reclining at table with him.
Mary took a liter of costly perfumed oil
made from genuine aromatic nard
and anointed the feet of Jesus and dried them with her hair;
the house was filled with the fragrance of the oil.
Then Judas the Iscariot, one of his disciples,
and the one who would betray him, said,
“Why was this oil not sold for three hundred days’ wages
and given to the poor?”
He said this not because he cared about the poor
but because he was a thief and held the money bag
and used to steal the contributions.
So Jesus said, “Leave her alone.
Let her keep this for the day of my burial.
You always have the poor with you, but you do not always have me.”
John 12:1-11

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Palm. Sunday. Spring.

Posted on March 29, 2015 by Spirit Moments

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It is early spring and the wild flowers are in bloom.
It is also Palm Sunday with a sense of portending gloom.

Palms. Raised and waved in adulation and admiration.
Hailing a king who will drive away the oppressors.
Shouting out to the Messiah whom they remembered
Feeding them with a few loaves and fishes.

Palms of hands. Now raised in praise and acclamation.
The same palms will hit the sacred face in condemnation.
Then raised in angry cries for his crucifixion.
And then palms will lovingly apply the spices and oils at his burial.

Branches. Cut to acclaim and praise.
Now with thorns and wound into a crown.
Placed on the head of the man who has let them down.
He saved others but himself he could not save.

Spring. Nature is coming back to life after a wintry death.
The meadows are carpeted with flowers.
The trees and the plants are alive with blooms.
The same colors augur death in Autumn.

How thin the line between acclaim and condemnation.
How the same colors enliven the coming of life in Spring
And its coming death in Winter when the leaves fall.
How we ever straddle between a thin line between life and death.

Between the colors of spring and autumn
Are the heat of summer and the desolation of winter.
Between the triumphal entry to Jerusalem and the resurrection
are the passion, crucifixion and the death on the cross.

My life is a tapestry of rich and vibrant colors,
Framed by wood from the branches I have grown.
Even as I approach the autumn of my life and the coming winter,
I know that spring will come again, this time in eternity forever.

My God, my God, why have you abandoned me?
~ Psalm 22

When the great crowd that had come to the feast heard
that Jesus was coming to Jerusalem,
they took palm branches and went out to meet him, and cried out:
“Hosanna!
“Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord,
the king of Israel.”
Jesus found an ass and sat upon it, as is written:
Fear no more, O daughter Zion;
see, your king comes, seated upon an ass’s colt.
His disciples did not understand this at first,
but when Jesus had been glorified
they remembered that these things were written about him
and that they had done this for him.
John 12:12-16

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Life Is Like a Plane Ride

Posted on March 28, 2015 by Spirit Moments

This morning, I would have liked to pray about the importance of the individual, about how one person can change the world. My impression is that American society is an individualistic society, putting a high premium on the individual and his rights. There are some societies that would sacrifice the individual for the sake of the whole nation, as in “It is better that one man should die instead of the people, so that the whole nation may not perish.”

This is both the boon and the bane. That it is a boon can be seen in the many super-achievers there are in the US, be it in sports, the arts, the sciences, business, and practically in all fields of human endeavor. This is seen in the concern for the rights of the individual and of minorities. The mantra is “Looking out for Number One.” And there is the bane. The mantra can be a force for good but it can also be a call for greed, selfishness and excessive self-centeredness.

But this morning I am concerned about this individual that I am. I have always wanted to be known for my depth and range of my thoughts and insights. One of my fears has always been being exposed for the emptiness and shallowness of what I say. Last night, I was thinking about my past and there were many times I was indeed empty and shallow in the this I have done and said.

I had dreams of building and creating a legacy I could leave behind. One of the the most satisfying moments in my past was dreaming and actually building a house. The time for that is now past although I can still keep and clean house or house-sit when needed. I dreamed and actually created and managed organizations with some success. Now, I only have myself to manage and try to create some meaning in the remaining time I have.

The image of a plane in flight comes to mind. On take-off, the plane burns a lot of fuel to achieve its cruising altitude. I am reminded of the energy and stamina of my youth. Then, as the plane achieves its cruising altitude, it practically glides as it flies to its destination. I relish my years of accomplishments and achievements as I flew to places and positions in my career. Now, the time for landing is coming. The pilot cuts down on the fuel, puts out the plane’s landing gears, put the flaps in their landing position, decelerates and slowly starts coming down.

I must realize that there are things I did on take-off I cannot do on landing. I had relative freedom of movement at cruising altitude. But now I must be fastened to my seat with a belt as I land. I must realize I am arriving at my destination. I pray I have traveled well and I have done my work to arrive at the right destination.

The Lord will guard us, as a shepherd guards his flock.
~ Jeremiah 31

Many of the Jews who had come to Mary
and seen what Jesus had done began to believe in him.
But some of them went to the Pharisees
and told them what Jesus had done.
So the chief priests and the Pharisees
convened the Sanhedrin and said,
“What are we going to do?
This man is performing many signs.
If we leave him alone, all will believe in him,
and the Romans will come
and take away both our land and our nation.”
But one of them, Caiaphas,
who was high priest that year, said to them,
“You know nothing,
nor do you consider that it is better for you
that one man should die instead of the people,
so that the whole nation may not perish.”
He did not say this on his own,
but since he was high priest for that year,
he prophesied that Jesus was going to die for the nation,
and not only for the nation,
but also to gather into one the dispersed children of God.
So from that day on they planned to kill him.
John 11:45-56

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Signs Incontestable

Posted on March 27, 2015 by Spirit Moments

Life is fleeting, just like the wind,
Be it a gentle breeze or a forceful gale.
It blows where it will but soon,
it is gone and all is still.

Life is ephemeral, like a tendril,
Or even a flower that blooms
Here today and gone tomorrow
Momentarily driving away the gloom.

Life is fragile, like a flickering flame.
All it takes is a gentle gust of wind.
Light and brightness one moment,
Dim and darkness the next.

In a universe of exploding stars,
Is life even possible?
One asteroid crashing into earth
Is enough to obliterate all life here.

And yet we have been here for a million years.
Slowly but surely, growing and getting better
With every trip around the sun,
Earth grows more beautiful life.

Man is longing for the source of the light.
Who placed the sun out there,
The source of all energy in our world?
Man is yearning to know and yet he already knows.

There is nothing in the universe to explain why we are here.
And yet the reality of our being here is incontestable.
There is Someone who placed us here.
And our hearts will always be restless until they come home to where we came from.

In my distress I called upon the Lord, and he heard my voice.
~ Psalm 18

The Jews picked up rocks to stone Jesus.
Jesus answered them, “I have shown you many good works from my Father.
For which of these are you trying to stone me?”
The Jews answered him,
“We are not stoning you for a good work but for blasphemy.
You, a man, are making yourself God.”
Jesus answered them,
“Is it not written in your law, ‘I said, ‘You are gods”‘?
If it calls them gods to whom the word of God came,
and Scripture cannot be set aside,
can you say that the one
whom the Father has consecrated and sent into the world
blasphemes because I said, ‘I am the Son of God’?
If I do not perform my Father’s works, do not believe me;
but if I perform them, even if you do not believe me,
believe the works, so that you may realize and understand
that the Father is in me and I am in the Father.”
Then they tried again to arrest him;
but he escaped from their power.

He went back across the Jordan
to the place where John first baptized, and there he remained.
Many came to him and said,
“John performed no sign,
but everything John said about this man was true.”
And many there began to believe in him.
John 10: 31-42

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A Lunatic, A Liar, or The Lord

Posted on March 26, 2015 by Spirit Moments

“He is either a lunatic, a liar, or the Lord.”

His teachings were hard to swallow for many of His contemporaries, specially for those in power and those from the privileged classes. Even those who followed Hm often found it difficult to swallow what He was teaching them.

There were those who said He was a madman, that He was the devil incarnate. But He did exactly the opposite of what the devil would have done. And when He spoke, He spoke with such forceful reason that spoke of greater intelligence, sanity and prudence. He spoke of love, which while defying all logic, is the only rational choice in this crazy world we live in. Indeed, He was the Fool on the Hill.

There were those who said He spoke lies, that He was a rabble rouser feeding the crowds untruths to get their support and sympathy. But the truth He spoke has freed and liberated people and anguished souls not only during His time but down the ages.

He might had just been a great moral teacher but He is not God. Christ is unique among the great teachers of the world to have claimed that He is God. He forgave sins like only God can. He said He has existed for all time, that “before Abraham came to be, I AM.” And He promised to come at the end of time to judge all of us.

Jesus Christ is Lord!

The Lord remembers his covenant for ever.
~ Psalm 105

Jesus said to the Jews:
“Amen, amen, I say to you,
whoever keeps my word will never see death.”
So the Jews said to him,
“Now we are sure that you are possessed.
Abraham died, as did the prophets, yet you say,
‘Whoever keeps my word will never taste death.’
Are you greater than our father Abraham, who died?
Or the prophets, who died?
Who do you make yourself out to be?”
Jesus answered, “If I glorify myself, my glory is worth nothing;
but it is my Father who glorifies me,
of whom you say, ‘He is our God.’
You do not know him, but I know him.
And if I should say that I do not know him,
I would be like you a liar.
But I do know him and I keep his word.
Abraham your father rejoiced to see my day;
he saw it and was glad.”
So the Jews said to him,
“You are not yet fifty years old and you have seen Abraham?”
Jesus said to them, “Amen, amen, I say to you,
before Abraham came to be, I AM.”
So they picked up stones to throw at him;
but Jesus hid and went out of the temple area.
John 8:51-59

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The Hand that Guides

Posted on March 25, 2015 by Spirit Moments

If an angel had appeared to me in a dream when I was young and had described to me my future as it actually had unfolded, I would have said, “No way! There is no way those things will ever happen. Nah ah, not to me. And not in my life.”

If I had never left my hometown at a young age, I would probably have ended up being a teacher like my father for the rest of my life. I would have had a lot less than the resources and comforts that I enjoy today. Would I have been just as happy and fulfilled? I would probably has moments of envy at my other successful friends and classmates. But the simpler lifestyle would probably have meant I would be healthier, humbler and with an even greater sense of humor. I would still enjoy books, music and writing. I would probably be more fervent and more sincere in my prayers. I would still seek and try to find the sacred and the divine in my life. Yes. I would still have been happy and found meaning and fulfillment in my life.

What if I had more resources and comforts than what I enjoy today? Like a flashier car, a bigger house, more money to spend. The first thing that comes to mind is that I would probably be so full of myself, I would have less time nor space for anyone else or probably none at all. I would probably not find it worth my time to spend time in prayer. I would still like to read and I would probably would like to go and see the places and events that I have read about. I would still love music and I would probably go to more live concerts to watch and hear my favorite bands and artists. I would probably go to more places that I could write about. I would have become an insufferable, obnoxious, self-centered, self-engrossed, conceited fool. I would probably not like myself at all.

I had my dreams. I had my ambitions. I am proud and happy where and who I am. It has been a guided journey. And it is the Divine Presence in my life that has made the difference. There were dark and sad moments. But they have been outnumbered and overwhelmed by days of joys and happiness. I still would not have believed what an angel would have told me then. But I have always believed that there is a loving presence that has held my hand throughout my life’s journey.

Here I am, Lord; I come to do your will.
~ Psalm 40

The angel Gabriel was sent from God
to a town of Galilee called Nazareth,
to a virgin betrothed to a man named Joseph,
of the house of David,
and the virgin’s name was Mary.
And coming to her, he said,
“Hail, full of grace! The Lord is with you.”
But she was greatly troubled at what was said
and pondered what sort of greeting this might be.
Then the angel said to her,
“Do not be afraid, Mary,
for you have found favor with God.
Behold, you will conceive in your womb and bear a son,
and you shall name him Jesus.
He will be great and will be called Son of the Most High,
and the Lord God will give him the throne of David his father,
and he will rule over the house of Jacob forever,
and of his Kingdom there will be no end.”
Luke 1:26-38

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Life is a Mystery

Posted on March 24, 2015 by Spirit Moments

We live in a world filled with mystery. Since the beginning of time, man has been struck with awe and wonder gazing up the skies or simply standing before nature. The more we learn about the universe around us, the more we realize how little we know. The stars, which we instinctively knew were a vital part of who and what we are, are more than we are able to count. The outer space we look out into stretches far beyond what we can imagine. There are forces and elements we can not even wrap our feeble minds around.

Even the planet we live in still holds many mysteries for us. We know more about the surface of the moon than we do about the depths of the oceans. Everyday, there are new species of plants and living things that are being discovered. And even now, we specially our young ones are changing and possible even mutating in ways we barely comprehend. And we are slowly learning and accepting the reality that our planet earth is a living, breathing and feeling organism.

I am myself a bundle of mysteries. I am conscious but there a lot more of me hidden in my unconscious and subconscious. Buried deep in my brain is a record of everything I have been through as well as all my dreams and aspirations, everything I have learned and everything else that I knew instinctively that were wired into my being. I sometimes disappoint myself when I fail to accomplish what I know I can do. I often marvel at myself doing what I thought was not even possible.

Mysteries are a part of human existence. We are always seeking answers for the many questions that come into our lives. But there are questions that will perhaps never be answered. And it is these unanswered and unanswerable questions that make us truly human.

O Lord, hear my prayer, and let my cry come to you.
~ Psalm 102

Jesus said to the Pharisees:
“I am going away and you will look for me,
but you will die in your sin.
Where I am going you cannot come.”
So the Jews said,
“He is not going to kill himself, is he,
because he said, ‘Where I am going you cannot come’?”
He said to them, “You belong to what is below,
I belong to what is above.
You belong to this world,
but I do not belong to this world.
That is why I told you that you will die in your sins.
For if you do not believe that I AM,
you will die in your sins.”
John 8:21-30

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Good in the Service of Evil?

Posted on March 23, 2015 by Spirit Moments

Two women caught in adultery and people wanted them stoned to death – as required by the Law of Moses. Indeed, adultery is so destructive of loving relationships and of families, it should be dealt with severely. But, as often happens, a good law can sometimes be a tool for injustice and oppression.

The first woman was the beautiful Susanna. Two elders, respected in the community, lusted for her and were coercing her to lie with her or they would testify she was with a young man. Susanna refused and the two lecherous elders succeeded in having her condemned to death. Daniel came to the rescue of Susanna and exposed the perjury of the two dirty old men, for which they were the ones put to death. The laws on adultery have been for a long time more severe on girls and women, reflective of the bias of a patriarchal culture.

The other woman was brought to Jesus, whom the people asked Him to condemn to death by stoning as required by the Law of Moses. Jesus refuses to condemn her instead challenges those without sin to cast the first stone and the accusers of the woman began leaving one by one. When left alone with her, Jesus shows her mercy and compassion and forgives her.

Simples stories but they cause me great discomfort. We are called and challenged to be good and yet, how often is the good used to oppress the weak and the defenseless? How often do evil men use good intentions to take advantage of others? How can our sense of justice be sometimes so severe and demanding as to destroy rather than build, as to kill rather than pardon and restore? How can some people so pervert what is good and use it for evil?

If this sound all so contradictory and against all reason, Christ has shown us the opposite to be also true. He turned the wages of sin (that is, death) around and used it to bring us to eternal life. He confronted the evil in men’s heart and melted it away with love. He took what people lusted after, like being first or living in comfort and luxury, and made these His lifestyle. He declared that the first will be last and the last will be first. And to those who would follow Him, He offered the way of the cross, not a bed of roses. And quixotic it may seem, it has worked. That is why I have chosen to follow Jesus.

Even though I walk in the dark valley I fear no evil; for you are at my side.
~ Psalm 23

Jesus went to the Mount of Olives.
But early in the morning he arrived again in the temple area,
and all the people started coming to him,
and he sat down and taught them.
Then the scribes and the Pharisees brought a woman
who had been caught in adultery
and made her stand in the middle.
They said to him,
“Teacher, this woman was caught
in the very act of committing adultery.
Now in the law, Moses commanded us to stone such women.
So what do you say?”
They said this to test him,
so that they could have some charge to bring against him.
Jesus bent down and began to write on the ground with his finger.
But when they continued asking him,
he straightened up and said to them,
“Let the one among you who is without sin
be the first to throw a stone at her.”
Again he bent down and wrote on the ground.
And in response, they went away one by one,
beginning with the elders.
So he was left alone with the woman before him.
Then Jesus straightened up and said to her,
“Woman, where are they?
Has no one condemned you?”
She replied, “No one, sir.”
Then Jesus said, “Neither do I condemn you.
Go, and from now on do not sin any more.”
John 8:1-11

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Wild Flowers on the First Day of Spring

Posted on March 22, 2015 by Spirit Moments

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First day of spring. Anabelle and I joined a guided hike through the hills in the Coyote Lake – Harvey Bear Ranch County Park. The hills were carpeted with the blooms of wild flowers. There is a mad explosion of colors, with myriad shades of yellows, oranges, whites, purples and greens. Trees were putting on fresh new green foliage, their buds on the branches bursting forth into new leaves. New life is sprouting out everywhere. We even saw a bald eagle’s nest hight up in one of the trees. And even though it is now the fourth year of the severe drought, the lake looked full and alive, with its calm surface braking into ripples as ducks glide over its smooth surface. It is time and nature is busy recreating the marvelous scenery.

It was a mild and rather warm winter we just had. But even after the harshest and most severe winter, spring eventually comes when it is time. Climate change is a fact and it is because we have thrashed the earth. And I know that nature will re-create our paradise here on earth when it is time. It might be severe and catastrophic for men. Then, we will have to change after all the years we have been abusing nature and she has been changing.

And it tells me too that when it is time, I need to change. Age is bringing about changes I have to adapt to. It can sometimes be a dreadful thought that winter is coming and all life will be buried under by the snow and the cold. But there is always the promise of spring. Everything is brought back to life and with greater beauty, when it is time.

Create a clean heart in me, O God.
~ Psalm 51

Some Greeks who had come to worship at the Passover Feast
came to Philip, who was from Bethsaida in Galilee,
and asked him, “Sir, we would like to see Jesus.”
Philip went and told Andrew;
then Andrew and Philip went and told Jesus.
Jesus answered them,
“The hour has come for the Son of Man to be glorified.
Amen, amen, I say to you,
unless a grain of wheat falls to the ground and dies,
it remains just a grain of wheat;
but if it dies, it produces much fruit.
Whoever loves his life loses it,
and whoever hates his life in this world
will preserve it for eternal life.
Whoever serves me must follow me,
and where I am, there also will my servant be.
The Father will honor whoever serves me.
John 12:20-33

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