Spirit Moments | From minutes to moments . . . .

Light and Life

Posted on March 18, 2013 by Spirit Moments

As a child I was afraid of the dark. Darkness embodied everything I was afraid of. I imagined all kinds of monster and evil lurking in those dim shadows. As I grew up darkness also came to represent being lost, not knowing where to go nor what to do. One of my favorite images has always been that of light piercing the darkness and driving away the shadows of my fears and doubts.

I love imagining life as a bright explosion of white light breaking the darkness. I imagine love to be an intense and warm glow of light driving away my fears. I love watching the first glimmering of the light at sunrise during early dawn and I love relishing the fading colors of the sunset in the early evening. And throughout the day, light gives me joy and a deep sense of happiness.

Light is life and love. The sun sends out its light unceasingly and it is this light that gives life to every living creature here on earth. The same light gives me the warmth and energy like the feeling I experience when I am in love. It is no wonder that early man looked at the sun as a god.

It is no wonder either that Jesus used the light as an image for the life and the love he has come to bring into our existence. He also used it to describe his relationship to the Father. Is this all about imagery? Or, is this the real thing that we need to see and understand in prayer? When I close my eyes in prayer, it is not the darkness I see. I can see the light that Christ is talking about. I can see the colors of all creation around me. And I love to see the powerful explosion of the life and love that surrounds me through this light that Christ is talking about. And at the end of the day, I pray like the disciples on the road to Emmaus: “Stay with me, Lord, for it is almost evening and the darkness will soon be upon me.”

Again Jesus spoke to them, saying, ‘I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness but will have the light of life.’
John 8:12-20

Posted in Encounter, Evil, Faith, Life | Tagged Learning, Light, Prayer | Comments Off

We live today in a disposable and throw-away society. When something is broken or does not work anymore, we just throw it away and get a new one. When something is old, obsolete or not fashionable anymore, we just get rid of it away and buy the latest fashion, the latest edition or the latest version. Things are made or done in series so that we are always driven to have the highest or latest number in the series. In the process, we inundate ourselves with so much garbage. And we wonder why our lives are so cluttered and messy.

It gets worse when we start applying this mentality to our relationships. When a relationship is broken or does not work, we just chuck it off and get into a new one. And we would describe our relationships as “It is complicated.” Just as discarded things end up being garbage, so do discarded relationships. And we wonder why our lives are so cluttered and messy.

It wasn’t always like that nor is it meant to be so. I remember growing up when we hardly had any garbage to throw away. Bottles and cans were reused as containers or toys. The ones we could not reuse we sold to the junkyard man together with old newspapers and metal scraps. Dead leaves and leftover food were dumped into a pit in our backyard. A good pit would last us at least a year after which we topped it off with soil and dug another pit in another spot in the backyard. Clothes were worn until they were frayed thin and then re-purposed as cleaning rags till they finally ended up in the backyard pit.

God does not make junk. Even a seemingly dead and bare tree blooms again in grandeur and beauty when spring comes. In some culture, the most beautiful and most prized pieces of porcelain or ceramics are those that were broken and have been painfully and beautifully put back together and restored. No matter how badly we sin and make a mess of our lives, God will always heal us and put us back together again. He does not condemn but he is always ever ready to welcome us back in his embrace.

Just as a tree is barest just before the break of spring so does the dark night of the soul come before revelation and salvation.

Jesus was left alone with the woman standing before him. Jesus straightened up and said to her, ‘Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?’ She said, ‘No one, sir.’ And Jesus said, ‘Neither do I condemn you. Go your way, and from now on do not sin again.’
John 8:1-11

Posted on March 17, 2013 by Spirit Moments | Comments Off

My Life Is a Miracle

Posted on March 16, 2013 by Spirit Moments

The odds of winning the lotto is one in millions. It is such a long shot it would take a miracle to win it. The smart advice is not to waste money betting on it. I am one in a million possibilities. One other seed of the millions from my father, I could have been a girl. Another seed, and I would still be the child of my father but an entirely different person. I was a long shot but somebody called out my number. It took a miracle to make me happen.

Such a simple fact and yet too profound to understand; or it is enough to confound others. It may be too profound to understand but I can believe that someone who has the capacity for greater wisdom and understanding picked out my number, called me into existence and gave me a name. Or, I can just simply say there is no other explanation why I am here except that I won in the great lottery of life. Some random number generator called out my number and that is why I am here.

And so for someone who believes, no proof that there is a God who orders our lives is necessary. I encounter him everyday, every moment. In random events. In serendipitous moments. When things just come together. Even when things don’t go the way I want them to.And sometime or somewhere in my life, he has revealed himself to me and I have encountered him in various ways, different times and in many places and persons.

But for some who would not believe, no explanation is possible except the randomness of everything. The Heisenberg Principle of Uncertainty. In the vastness of the universe and its almost infinite expanse in time and space, anything is possible. And one does not have to beautify things with such notions as love, giving, sharing or caring.

During the time of Jesus, it was the crowds (read ‘poor and unlettered’) who came to hear and believe in him. The leaders, the educated and the learned were doubtful of him, dismissing him as being too good to be true. If Christ were to come today, where would I be standing?

Nicodemus, who had gone to Jesus before, and who was one of them, asked, ‘Our law does not judge people without first giving them a hearing to find out what they are doing, does it?’ They replied, ‘Surely you are not also from Galilee, are you? Search and you will see that no prophet is to arise from Galilee.’
John 7:40-52

Posted in Encounter, Evil, Presence, Spirituality | Tagged Blessings, Grace, Wisdom | 2 Comments

My Links

Posted on March 15, 2013 by Spirit Moments

I am one with the rest of humanity. In this interconnectedness, do I share in the sufferings and pain of others by bearing my own desolation with strength and courage? In so doing, do I help alleviate in some way the pain and misery of others? Is there merit for me and for others when I face up to my desert experience with faith and hope that this is all but part of the journey?

Because of the interconnectedness, is the good I am doing rippling out into the universe creating positive cosmic energy? Like, does it trigger the creation of a new star that will generate more light and energy? Or closer to home, does my dedication and service to Jonathan and Jane keep President Obama in office? Has my diligence in my ILM studies helped elect Cardinal Bergoglio as the new Pope Francis I?

Christ often talked of his oneness with the Father. Who he is and what he did reflected what the Father is and what he wanted done. He gathers everyone and everything in the Father through his commandment of love. When I think and write about these things, the links I have with the rest of humanity and with the Divine, I sometimes feel dealing in things esoteric and borderline fringe. But I keep in my faith that I just go where the Spirit leads me. People may not want to kill me like they did to Jesus. But there will be some who will be wondering whether I am losing it.

I pray that these links will become stronger and clearer as I persevere in my daily practice of reflecting on God’s Word and what it means and is saying to me in my here and now.

Then Jesus cried out as he was teaching in the temple, ‘You know me, and you know where I am from. I have not come on my own. But the one who sent me is true, and you do not know him. I know him, because I am from him, and he sent me.’ Then they tried to arrest him, but no one laid hands on him, because his hour had not yet come.
John 7:1-2, 10, 25-30

Posted in Encounter, Faith, Spirituality | Tagged Fidelity, Patience, Prayer | Comments Off

Desert Experiences

Posted on March 14, 2013 by Spirit Moments

We have a new pope – Pope Francis I. He takes over the leadership of a church, crying for reform and major changes, waiting and hoping for a new Pentecost, praying for the spirit to come and ignite fires of commitment and renewed faith. The Church is currently beset by sexual scandals, financial mismanagement, factionalism, internal bickering and infighting, It is adrift and tossed in a stormy sea of challenges and intractable problems. It is a difficult period in the life of the Church but it is also a moment of grace much like the election of the new Pope.

This looks like a desert experience for the Church. Can we find the Lord working among us even as we are buffeted by so many problems? Can we see the Spirit enkindling ardor and commitment among us even in the face of so much aridity and even desperation and despair?

I am faced with my own desert experience right now. Will my own desolation break me and totally shatter my faith or will it make me stronger and help me find the Lord’s presence in my life even more intimately? I remember once standing at the edge of the football fields of Xavier school and saying “In all my time here in Xavier, I have never ventured into the middle of these fields.” to which a friend responded to me: “That seems to be the problem with you. You never really try to go into the heart of things.” I have read somewhere hat one never will find out how far one can go unless he ventures out into the depths.

How far into the desert can I go before I give up or get to the other end? If God were to take away all my comforts, will I still find it in my heart to thank him for my life? If the Lord were to take away all the source of my security and sense of purpose, will I still sing his praises? If God were to take away my health and inflict me with illness, will I still lift my arms in prayer? If God were to keep silent and not make his presence felt to me, will I still seek him whose presence I enjoyed in times of my consolation?

Forty years the People of God wandered through the desert. Forty days, Christ was tempted in the desert. The Church today is going through the desert. I going through my own desert. I pray for grace and courage, strength, determination and perseverance.

“The works that the Father has given me to complete, the very works that I am doing, testify on my behalf that the Father has sent me. And the Father who sent me has himself testified on my behalf. You have never heard his voice or seen his form, and you do not have his word abiding in you, because you do not believe him whom he has sent.”
John 5:31-47

Posted in Faith, Presence, The Good News | Tagged Change, Grace, Suffering, Wisdom | Comments Off

Our Interconnectedness

Posted on March 13, 2013 by Spirit Moments

I have always loved these lines by Francis Thompson, the same poet who wrote “The Hound of Heaven”:

“All things by immortal power,
Near or far, Hiddenly
To each other linked are,
That thou canst not stir a flower
Without troubling of a star.”

Even modern day science accepts as fact that all that exists is intimately interconnected in the fabric of time and space. Everything waxes and wanes, vibrates and pulsates according to one cosmic rhythm and melody. Could it be that through my feelings of angst and ennui, I am catching the vibes of another person who is suffering right now? The feelings come unbidden and for no apparent reason, except perhaps that my feelings are resonating to the rhythm and vibrations from another human person? Anonymously and generously, I can take on those feelings even if they are not my own and suffer with that unknown person? This is the essence of compassion. I can share in the burden of the other, even if he is unknown to me. This is the essence of empathy. I can send of positive vibrations of life-giving energy and inspiring light to counter the darkness that threatens to engulf and overpower us. In this context, Christ suffering for me on the cross does make sense.

This cosmic and universal interconnectedness is strong in the life and teachings of Christ, who often would speak of his oneness with the Father. There is an intimate link between him and the ultimate and infinite Source of all life and light. The final lines of the “The Hound of Heaven puts it so eloquently:

Halts by me that footfall;
  Is my gloom, after all,
Shade of His hand, outstreched caressingly?
  "Ah, fondest, blindest, weakest,
  I am He Whom thou seekest!
Thou dravest love from thee, who dravest Me."

Jesus said to them, ‘Very truly, I tell you, the Son can do nothing on his own, but only what he sees the Father doing; for whatever the Father does, the Son does likewise. The Father loves the Son and shows him all that he himself is doing; and he will show him greater works than these, so that you will be astonished.
John 5:17-24

Posted in Faith, Life, Science, Spirituality | Tagged Grace, Serendipity | Comments Off

Wisdom with Age or Lethargy in the Winter Years?

Posted on March 12, 2013 by Spirit Moments

In my youth, I pursued one challenge after another, going from one opportunity to the next. And it had been one exhilarating ride. In the hustle and bustle of such frenetic energy, I thought I would eventually get the answers to the questions in my heart. There were many spirit moments in those years and I am grateful for them. But the questions remained unanswered for the most part, often turning into different shapes and forms like the designs in an ever-turning kaleidoscope: what am I doing here? am I doing what I am supposed to be doing? did I fill my world with love?

In my old age, I am done looking for and pursuing opportunities. I am reviewing my priorities instead and using the time remaining for me to pursue these instead. I think I had my priorities pretty clear in the past: family, service, God. But right now I am not too sure if I have lived my life according to these priorities or if these were indeed my priorities. I feel like the sick man by the pool at Beth-zatha waiting for someone to put me into the water, to show me the answers, to put my life in order for me. Wisdom supposedly comes with age. It seems to me more like mental lethargy for me. I pray for the Lord to tell me clearly and for me to hear and understand: “Stand up, take up your life and move.”

When Jesus saw him lying there and knew that he had been there a long time, he said to him, “Do you want to be made well?” The sick man answered him, “Sir, I have no one to put me into the pool when the water is stirred up; and while I am making my way, someone else steps down ahead of me.” Jesus said to him, “Stand up, take your mat and walk.” At once the man was made well, and he took up his mat and began to walk.
John 5:1-16

Posted in Faith, Life | Tagged Desolation, Grace, Sacrifice | Comments Off

A Taste of Heaven

Posted on March 11, 2013 by Spirit Moments

I have been battling with a severe bout of depression during the past few days. I have been hankering for affirmation and assurances. I am not sad. It is more like feelings of disappointment, frustration and a malaise and feeling that there is a huge gaping and empty hole inside me.

This morning, to help me win this battle, I started imagining what heaven might be like. I don’t think heaven is singing with the angels in perpetuity. That would eventually become so boring. I don’t believe heaven is about having answers to all the questions bugging me while here on earth. It might be that but many of my questions now will no longer matter after I have died. It is not about seeing God, for God is infinite to be seen by my human eyes or even ‘seen’ by my human mind.

I imagine heaven as being in the presence of God and being totally enveloped by that presence. It is like standing before a blinding light without going blind; being suffused with a reassuring warmth without getting burned. It is like feeling your heart being filled with goodness and joy to the point of it exploding and it does actually explode in one orgasmic explosion of delightful contentment and exquisite pleasure that run through my whole being and not just in my groins. And it goes on and on, like a multiple orgasm. I am with all the people whom I have ever met during my life and I now know why they were in my life and I in theirs. I have all the events of my life before me and I now know why these things had come to pass in my life. And this can go on for eternity? Yes, for then I shall be waxing and waning with the divine rhythm in the infinite presence of God, like a perpetual wave on an endless ocean.

In my moment of depression and desolation, I pray for a clearer understanding of and a deeper faith in this vision and reality.

When he heard that Jesus had come from Judea to Galilee, he went and begged him to come down and heal his son, for he was at the point of death. Then Jesus said to him, ‘Unless you see signs and wonders you will not believe.’ The official said to him, ‘Sir, come down before my little boy dies.’ Jesus said to him, ‘Go; your son will live.’ The man believed the word that Jesus spoke to him and started on his way. As he was going down, his slaves met him and told him that his child was alive.
John 4:43-54

Posted in Encounter, Faith, Life | Tagged Eternity, Heaven, joy, Suffering | Comments Off

This must be the image of the Prodigal Father looking afar and scanning the horizon while waiting to lavish his prodigal love on the prodigal son who has squandered his inheritance in a lavish and prodigal lifestyle. I have tried to be a good father, lavishing love on my sons, guiding them to be good persons and molding in them a strong and upright character. Often, I ask if I have been successful and done enough. Sometimes, I wonder if I had done too much.

There has always been a streak of the fire-brand activist in me. I love the prophetic role of being a Christian, who, like a fool, will speak the truth as he sees it. I was brimming with pride when Martin, in all of his tender age of four or five years, told the aide-de-camp of then President Marcos: “Your president is a bad person. He has killed a lot of people.” Today, he still speaks his mind and the truth as he sees it, ready to support his view with facts, figures and deep insights. I worry sometimes that he will end up losing friends because of his extreme honesty and integrity. But wasn’t that why I was so proud of him as a child.

As a child, Mickey loved going with his Mama to her prayer meetings. Growing up, we were so proud of him playing the peacemaker among his playmates, teaching them to forgive so they can keep their games going. Today, he teaches young people how to pray and come closer to the Lord. And he lives forgiveness, willing and able to forgive people who have hurt him deeply and move on. I worry sometimes if the wounds from his hurts will ever heal or will they lead to him bleeding to death. But weren’t his prayer-fulness and forgiving nature what endeared him to us as a child?

Of our three sons, Macky has been under our daily care the longest. But even as he was growing up, he was aware of the various community services I and Anabelle were involved in. I have seen in him a generosity of spirit that gives without expecting anything in return nor counting the cost. Children have always been naturally attracted to him because of his giving nature. Today, he serves as a Pediatric resident in PGH, not counting the long hours he puts in, not minding the pay he has yet to see and ever ready to spend even his last peso for a patient who needs it. I worry sometimes if there would be enough left for him as he is about to start his own family. But is this generosity and unstinting sense of service not what we would have dearly loved for him to learn as a child?

I guess in the end I can only do so much for them. I prepare them for life – hopefully sufficiently. And they strike out on their own. I pray I have helped them grow strong wings and strike deep roots for a meaningful and happy flight and journey.

But while he was still far off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion; he ran and put his arms around him and kissed him.
Luke 15:1-32

Posted on March 10, 2013 by Spirit Moments | 2 Comments

Sleep as a Mystery and a Sacred Moment

Posted on March 9, 2013 by Spirit Moments

Sleep is something many people take for granted. Sleep is a mystery to me and it can be a prayer and be made a sacred moment. Science tells me that we move through two kinds of sleep: the REM sleep and the non-REM. The body repairs and restores itself during the non-REM sleep. This is important for health. Lack of sleep can be more deleterious to health that lack of exercise or an unhealthy diet. Non-REM sleep keeps our body whole and healthy. We have our dreams during the REM sleep. The mind sorts out the information we have gathered and received during the day to organize it and make sense of it all. REM sleep helps us keep our sanity and gives us the ability to cope.

On a deeper level, in sleep I am most myself – unencumbered by the hassles of daily living, unburdened by the worries of the day, and not distracted by the many things that come my way. I am just by myself. And might it not be possible that it is during such moments that I am most myself that I can truly encounter God? I may not have any recollection of such an encounter; but my body knows I have been made whole again by God and my mind, in the far reaches of my unconscious and subconscious, knows that I have met the Lord. In the Bible, there are many instances of God talking to his people in their sleep. It might not be after all just a fanciful way of portraying God speaking to his people. We actually encounter God in our sleep.

I make my sleep a time of prayer but totally surrendering myself to God before I finally doze off. I will not remember much of the encounter but I know that in my total surrender, like the tax collector praying who would not even look up to heaven, God cradles me in his embrace to make me whole again for the next day.

Jesus also told this parable to some who trusted in themselves that they were righteous and regarded others with contempt: “Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee, standing by himself, was praying thus, ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other people: thieves, rogues, adulterers, or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week; I give a tenth of all my income.’ But the tax collector, standing far off, would not even look up to heaven, but was beating his breast and saying, ‘God, be merciful to me, a sinner!’ I tell you, this man went down to his home justified rather than the other; for all who exalt themselves will be humbled, but all who humble themselves will be exalted.”
Luke 18:9-14

Posted in Encounter, Presence, Spirituality | Tagged Grace, Learning, Prayer | Comments Off