Conversation and Prayer

Posted on January 17, 2013 by Spirit Moments

I love engaging in conversations, from light banter to witty repartee to deep philosophical or theological discussions. I love telling and listening to stories, the funny and the inspiring ones specially. When I am sad or when I am happy, I love being with another person I can share my sadness or happiness with. Of late, it is becoming more and more of a challenge for me to engage in such conversations I love. I am becoming harder and harder of hearing. Sometimes, I hear the words but I am slow in the pick up. There are a lot of contexts and expressions that are new to me and I miss out on. Even in my prayer, which I see as a conversation with God, I experience difficulty connecting with him whom I am conversing with. Sometimes, I feel it smarter to just keep quiet and just absorb everything going on around me, listening to the sounds and conversation of others. And this sometimes is becoming oftener. Still, with hope and trust, I stay connected with persons, specially those dear to me. I am reminded of a quotation which I think is very apropos to me now: If you do not understand my silence, you will not understand my words.

A leper came to Jesus begging him, and kneeling he said to him, “If you choose, you can make me clean.” Moved with pity, Jesus stretched out his hand and touched him, and said to him, “I do choose. Be made clean.” Mark 1:40-45

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Living in Hope

Posted on January 16, 2013 by Spirit Moments

My daily routine these days is pretty much ordinary: I wake up early to spend my first waking moments in prayer and then face the day with optimism, expecting things will become better and that the best is yet to come. I have learned lately from Henri Nouwen that hope is not just plain optimism but something deeper. Hope is the trust that God is fulfilling his promises to me at this very moment; that even now he is working on my ordinary circumstances to work out his plan for the universe; that even now he is transforming the the plain and ordinary water of my daily routine into the finest wine. Optimism is the expectation of a bright tomorrow. Hope is the trust that everything that happens today is God’s way of working himself into my life, weave his presence into the fabric of my existence.

In the morning, while it was still very dark, he got up and went out to a deserted place, and there he prayed. And Simon and his companions hunted for him. When they found him, they said to him, “Everyone is searching for you.” He answered, “Let us go on to the neighboring towns, so that I may proclaim the message there also; for that is what I came out to do.” And he went throughout Galilee, proclaiming the message in their synagogues and casting out demons. Mark 1:29-39

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The Way Of Grace

Posted on January 15, 2013 by Spirit Moments

The evil that I pray to be delivered from does not always come from the devils that lurk around me. There are times that the devil is within me already. Like, I harbor the bitterness and regrets from my broken dreams and unfulfilled hopes. I nurture the hurts and sometimes wallow in them with perverse glee. I have come face to face with my pride, my selfishness, my greed and have tried to rationalize these as looking out for myself. And in looking out myself, I have allowed my own needs to crowd God out of life and let my needs become the little gods that ruled my life. And in the end, I am left with nothing but the nothingness and emptiness of it all. And lo and behold, it was in that emptiness that I found the Presence that I have been longing for. And I keep coming back to that realization that it is in giving that we receive; it is in pardoning that we are pardoned and it is in dying that we are born to life. For such is the way of Grace.

They were all amazed, and they kept on asking one another, “What is this? A new teaching–with authority! He commands even the unclean spirits, and they obey him.” At once his fame began to spread throughout the surrounding region of Galilee. Mark 1:21-28

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An Ordinary Life Made Extraordinary

Posted on January 14, 2013 by Spirit Moments

The evolution of life on earth started out with the primeval organic soup churned out by the waves and tides of the ocean. Out of this primeval soup, the first living single cells emerged. It took millions of years for these single cells to evolve into the complex creatures we know today. But in time, these things came to pass. When searching for life on other planets, the first thing or clue or sign that scientists look for is the presence of water. Water is life. Water also refreshes and cleanses. Yet it is so ordinary we often take it for granted.

In this day and age of science and technology, we are often impressed and taken by the complex, sophisticated and the ingenious. We are moved by power, fame and wealth. And yet, the most significant changes in our lives come from very ordinary things like life and eventually human coming out of the waters of the seas. When Gos became man, he did not come in splendor and glory in some mighty castle. He came in the humble surroundings of a stable because there was no room for them at the inns. When the time came to choose the followers who will proclaim the good news of his coming, he did not choose the learned nor the schooled but ordinary folks like fishermen.

In my younger days, I often imagined myself doing heroic feats to change the world, at least my immediate world, and make this place a better place. I still strive to do my share of making this world a better place. But I have realized I can do this best in doing ordinary things: driving for Jonathan and Jane, playing their endless games and listening to their endless talk, cooking when Anabelle is either too tired to do it, just being there at the right time and at the right place when an extra pair of hands are needed. God who drew out life from ordinary water, will make my ordinary life something extraordinary. In his time.

As Jesus passed along the Sea of Galilee, he saw Simon and his brother Andrew casting a net into the sea–for they were fishermen. And Jesus said to them, “Follow me and I will make you fish for people.” And immediately they left their nets and followed him. As he went a little farther, he saw James son of Zebedee and his brother John, who were in their boat mending the nets. Immediately he called them; and they left their father Zebedee in the boat with the hired men, and followed him. Mark 1:14-20

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The Beloved

Posted on January 13, 2013 by Spirit Moments

I had a very strange dream early this morning. I was driving on the freeway, negotiating a curve, when a strong crosswind blew in with full force. This sent my car hurtling into space. As I felt the car flying out of control and slowly turning over, I told myself: “Oh my god, this is the end. Lord, not yet!” I was just waiting for the next thing to happen: either the lights would go out or I would see a bright light ahead of me. Then, O told myself: “No, this is but a dream. Wake up! Wake up!” And I did, panting with my heart beating like crazy.

Life is very fragile. One gust of wind can send me hurtling into kingdom come. And yet at that moment, I felt I had my life in the cusp of my palm, ready to offer it to the Lord of Life or to give an accounting of the life I have been gifted with. All my life, I have felt special and one of kind because of the gift of life I have received. I was not born into wealth nor privileged. Yet, I have always felt I am beloved by some one who brought me into this world. I am eternally grateful to Ima and Tatang for parenting me; they were the instruments the Lord And Giver of Life had used to bring me forth. And all my life, I have heard this small voice always telling me: “You are my beloved.”  It is the same small voice that constantly tell me to take care of the precious gift I have received; that tells me to make it grow and become better; that tells me to treasure it as well in others; that tells me to share it generously just as I have received it from generosity. I am not delusional. I am in touch in reality. I can function normally with others and even when I am by myself. Sometimes, I choose to shut down that voice but it is my constant companion.

This little voice is my affirmation of my worth and value. There may be millions of tress int he forest but I feel I am an outstanding one when I listen to this little voice within me. I look at my past and see how blessed indeed has my life and I am filled with love and gratitude. I look at the future and get assured in trust and hope that there are more good things and blessings waiting for me.

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Now when all the people were baptized, and when Jesus also had been baptized and was praying, the heaven was opened, and the Holy Spirit descended upon him in bodily form like a dove. And a voice came from heaven, ‘You are my Son, the Beloved; with you I am well pleased.’ Luke 3:15-16,21-22

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Envy

Posted on January 12, 2013 by Spirit Moments

Envy can be a very dangerous thing. Starting out with good intentions and even dwelling on the thought that we are all made in the image and likeness of God, we can sometimes end complaining why others seems to be more blessed and more gifted than we are when we are all the children of one God. And all too often, bouts of envy lead on to feelings of self-pity. One who is envious and wallowing in self-pity is also very likely to gloat over the misfortunes of others. This gloating in self-righteousness in only a step away from pride and selfishness. Just as one act of kindness ripples out in waves of goodness, one act of envy can throw me into the quicksand of sin.

This is the paradox in the spiritual life. It is in giving that we receive; it is in forgiving that we are pardoned; it is dying that we are born to eternal life. In the life of the spirit, less is more; the last shall be first; the poor shall be rich; the meek shall inherit the land and to increase I must decrease.

John answered, “No one can receive anything except what has been given from heaven. You yourselves are my witnesses that I said, ‘I am not the Messiah, but I have been sent ahead of him.’ He who has the bride is the bridegroom. The friend of the bridegroom, who stands and hears him, rejoices greatly at the bridegroom’s voice. For this reason my joy has been fulfilled. He must increase, but I must decrease.” John 3:22-30

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The Best Is Yet To Come

Posted on January 11, 2013 by Spirit Moments

In the face of his feebleness, man often is driven by that desire, often intense, to be in control. But the longer I live, the more I realize I am not in control. I can only try to make the best out of the cards dealt out to me. There are many times I am surprised by the number of aces dealt my way. In my dreams, I sometimes would imagine how my life would be in I were in total control of everything. But what has happened to me, often beyond my control, has been a lot richer and more meaningful than anything I have done or could have imagined for myself. I am grateful for all the events in my life that have happened beyond my wildest expectations. I am grateful for all the friends and people I have been blessed with who have made my life so very interesting beyond any script I could have written. And most of all, I am grateful for the life I have received, which I have never asked for but have been given nevertheless. I look forward to more of the divine action in my life knowing that the best is yet to come.

Once, when he was in one of the cities, there was a man covered with leprosy. When he saw Jesus, he bowed with his face to the ground and begged him, “Lord, if you choose, you can make me clean.” Then Jesus stretched out his hand, touched him, and said, “I do choose. Be made clean.” Immediately the leprosy left him. Luke 5:12-16

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Good News!

Posted on January 10, 2013 by Spirit Moments

Then Jesus, filled with the power of the Spirit, returned to Galilee, and a report about him spread through all the surrounding country. He began to teach in their synagogues and was praised by everyone.
When he came to Nazareth, where he had been brought up, he went to the synagogue on the sabbath day, as was his custom. He stood up to read, and the scroll of the prophet Isaiah was given to him. He unrolled the scroll and found the place where it was written:

‘The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he has anointed me to bring good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim release to the captives and recovery of sight to the blind, to let the oppressed go free, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor.’ Luke 4:14-22

I have always loved and been endlessly inspired by this Gospel passage from Luke. It was also the favorite of Fr. Abe, whose birthday is tomorrow. He called it the mission statement of Jesus and used it as the starting point of his work and writings on liberation theology. Indeed, there is so much brokenness in the world longing to be made whole. There is so much injustice and oppression waiting to be denounced and addressed. There are so many needing help and attention crying for relief from their pains and suffering. I long to see Christ’s face and feel his presence. I have not. But the words he left us tell me to seek him in the face of those crying in pain and suffering, in the victims of injustice and oppression, in those living broken and shattered lives. He is present to me in the people and events of my everyday life. All I have to do is to put on my glasses of faith.

Faith is nurturing a loving relationship with Christ in discipleship. I want to see him more clearly in the signs of his presence he has put into my life. I want to follow him more nearly by doing as he would do in the ordinariness of my everyday life. I want to love him more dearly in the loved ones he has gifted me with  and in the people I meet everyday.

Oh but there is one catch. There is no record of a town called Nazareth during the time of Jesus. Would I let such minor thing destroy my faith? I recall a conversation I once had with Fr. Abe. He asked: “Would it make a difference to you if some day some archaeologists were to find some bones and determine these to be those of one named Jesus the Christ?” I remember replying then that I have too much already invested in Christ to let some bones destroy my faith in him. His words, his message and his deeds have been so much a part of me, I can’t begin to imagine my life otherwise. Wise or otherwise, I have decided to follow Jesus.

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Alone Wtih God

Posted on January 9, 2013 by Spirit Moments

I start my day with some moments being alone with God. Early in the morning, before the busyness of the day starts, I pray. I pray that I see God’s face but never have I seen his face. All I see are the faces of people I meet everyday: my loved ones, my friends and people I meet in my everyday life. Every now and then, a chance encounter or a visit from a friend or a relative breaks the stream of the usual faces I see everyday. I pray that I hear his voice and learn his teachings but I have never heard his speak except through the words he left me through other people. I read the scriptures. Sometimes, I am inspired. At other times, they leave me cold. I pray that I learn and follow his will for me. But I am still searching what he wants me to do and I am running out of time. All I know is that when I pray, I would rather be loving and caring than give in to anger and hatred. I would rather be generous and giving than greedy and grasping. I would rather be kind and gentle than aloof and cynical. I would rather celebrate goodness than revel in evil. However, when the busyness of the day starts, I end up forgetting most of what I said or thought of in my prayers. My only hope is the Good God I have prayed to in the morning may allow some of his goodness he shared with me in prayer to trickle into some of the things I would do or say or even just think of during the day.

Immediately Jesus made his disciples get into the boat and go on ahead to the other side, to Bethsaida, while he dismissed the crowd. After saying farewell to them, he went up on the mountain to pray. . . .
Immediately he spoke to them and said, “Take heart, it is I; do not be afraid.” Mark 6:45-52

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There is Always Something To Learn

Posted on January 8, 2013 by Spirit Moments

It is early Tuesday morning, I am at my prayers. Jane is in our bed snuggling up to Lola, engaged in early morning small talk. The world is at peace and things are unfolding as they should. Another day ahead. I do not know what it holds in store. But it is enough for me that I have another day before me. Life is so rich. There is always something to learn and be thankful for.

Last night, I finally got to watch the movie version of Les Miserables with Bilog. It was a beautiful and powerful rendition of a classic story. It is amazing how even in times of severe adversity and the most wretched of conditions, men are able to rise above themselves and strive for high ideals. Victor Hugo wrote his epic story is about . . . “a progress from evil to good, from injustice to justice, from falsehood to truth, from night to day, from appetite to conscience, from corruption to life; from bestiality to duty, from hell to heaven, from nothingness to God.” I was particularly impressed by what I learned about love. There were many forms of love depicted in the story: romantic love, filial love, priestly love, love of country, love of ideals, love among friends, love in the community, even love of money. Not one form completely captures what love truly is but each one gave me a glimpse of the immense ocean that true love is. We are all love’s different incarnations, flowing from the immensity of Divine Love.

As Jesus went ashore, he saw a great crowd; and he had compassion for them, because they were like sheep without a shepherd; and he began to teach them many things. Mark 6:34-44

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