I Am Here Because Somebody Cares

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There are moments I feel I am but a speck of dust in the general scheme of things in the universe that just one swipe of the cleaning rug and I am gone away forever, with the universe none the poorer. And yet there are moments that I am aware that I am a part of the unfolding of this universe that without me things will not be as they should; that I am no random event but that the creator of all this had just me in mind when he placed the stars and planets where they should be. And since I am here today, he must have intended that. “Today this Scripture passage is fulfilled and being fulfilled in my life.”

He stood up to read and was handed a scroll of the prophet Isaiah. He unrolled the scroll and found the passage where it was written:
The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he has anointed me to bring glad tidings to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim liberty to captives and recovery of sight to the blind, to let the oppressed go free,and to proclaim a year acceptable to the Lord.
Rolling up the scroll, he handed it back to the attendant and sat down, and the eyes of all in the synagogue looked intently at him.
He said to them,”Today this Scripture passage is fulfilled in your hearing.”Luke 1:1-4, 4,14-21

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There Will Never Be Another Me Or You

No one can read a person as one reads a book. I have three sons and I once thought that after Martin; Mickey and Macky would be just simple copies of Martin. Nothing was farther from the reality. Sure, it is difficult not to see they are my sons; but each one is unique and totally different from the other. Even now, I am learning about them by the day: he who appears the strongest sometimes is the most fragile; behind the jaded and cynical persona (aka, mask) hides the most sensitive soul; the most sensitive and caring one is tested the most in his relationships; the one most craving for attention and affirmation is the most generous one.

The truth is each person is unique. Each person has a story all his own. There will never be another one quite like me. It is amazing that after billions of people who have existed, God has never repeated another one of us. Names may sometimes duplicate but the persons who go by the same name are never duplicates of each other. We are all originals.

Therefore, I should never judge others, nor typecast or box them into categories. I can never fully know their story for each one of us is still busy writing it out. I can never hope much less pretend to full understand another person. I can never truly know their pain and sufferings. I can only share and rejoice with them in their joy and happiness even as I feebly attempt to find out why. Presence, not understanding and much less explaining, is the best gift I can give others.

Then Jesus went home; and the crowd came together again, so that they could not even eat. When his family heard it, they went out to restrain him, for people were saying, “He has gone out of his mind.” Mark 3:20-21

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My Damascus Is Not One Of Blinding Light But Of Groping In Shadows

I always experience a certain thrill in being the first to announce some good news. Unfortunately, that is also true when it comes to bad news. But people have always loved passing on information, either in the form of news items, stories or nuggets of wisdom. Thoughts and ideas have as much currency as food or material goods. People love sharing them.

Today is the feast of the Conversion of St. Paul. His road to Damascus experience led him to a radical change in his life so that he transformed from being the number one persecutor of the early Church into one of the most assiduous proclaimers of the good news.  Through his many travels and his letters, he told people of the good news of Christ and planted the seeds of the early Christian faith in many communities across Asia Minor and as far as Rome itself. These communities served as salt and leaven from which would spring the early Christian Churches: small yet potent agents for change.

Nothing as dramatic as Damascus has happened in my life. I have tried to do my own proclamation of the good news in ways I can and to people I could. I have not experienced the signs and wonders promised to those who believed. I am often beset by doubts about my Faith. Daily, I struggle to learn and live by the teachings of the good news. I am nowhere being the saint that Saint Paul was. Yet, I persist in this ‘folly’ rusting that, like Saint Paul, my faith shall not be in vain.

And he said to them, ‘Go into all the world and proclaim the good news to the whole creation. The one who believes and is baptized will be saved; but the one who does not believe will be condemned. And these signs will accompany those who believe: by using my name they will cast out demons; they will speak in new tongues; they will pick up snakes in their hands, and if they drink any deadly thing, it will not hurt them; they will lay their hands on the sick, and they will recover.’ Mark 16:15-18

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Doing Humble Service

I am saddened by many of our Church leaders in the Philippines at how they can be so out of touch with the signs of the times, how they can be so intolerant as to call hellfire and brimstone upon those who disagree with them, how unforgiving and unyielding they can be. I am gladdened that they are true to their prophetic role of speaking the truth even when it is unpopular, of being faithful to what they believe is the will of God. Yet, I am afraid there is hubris in what many of them are saying or doing. In the process, they have alienated many well-meaning Catholics.

The Church leadership in the US does not enjoy as much political clout as the Church in the Philippines does. I have been impressed by how articulate and forceful they have performing their prophetic role. But they have done so in a spirit of dialogue, which can be heated at times but never acrimonious. They have been humbled by sexual and financial scandals. They have responded with great sorrow and deep humility. And the rest of the Church community has responded with greater faith and deeper commitment to their faith.

Christ demonstrated great power when he was actively preaching the good news: throngs would come to listen to his words and to be healed by his works. And yet, he remained humble. He performed deeds of power yes; but he was also the meek and humble lamb. He bade people not to make the cures and miracles he wrought known. ” Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart.” said he.

He had cured many, so that all who had diseases pressed upon him to touch him. Whenever the unclean spirits saw him, they fell down before him and shouted, “You are the Son of God!” But he sternly ordered them not to make him known. Mark 3:7-12

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Life Is Great. So How Come I Act Like This Was All A Random Event?

Life is a great gift. For all the difficulties in living, it is still wonderful to be alive. I came from my parents but that does not explain to me why I am here. I am deeply grateful to the God who gave me this gift of life.

I can live my life like it were a happy coincidence; that I came upon this earth and this life out of a serendipitous confluence of random event. Just as life on earth came about after millions of years of random events, so I was lucky to be who I am from the millions of possibilities. And when my time on earth is over, I shall banish back to where I came from – dust, water or some primal elements. After a few years no one will hardly remember me and after a few hundred years, I shall have been totally forgotten.

OR, I can live my life like I was chosen and called out purposefully by a loving Creator; that he has my name written in the palm of his hand. I am not a random event but one that was intentionally created to be happy and be with my Source. He guides me along every step of the way, constantly making me aware of his Presence. And when my time on earth is over, I will not vanish into oblivion. I shall spend eternity with him.

I have of course chosen to believe in the latter. It makes more sense than the first option. And yet I struggle to really feel this Presence in my life. I long to touch him, to feel him and hear his voice. But I don’t and can’t. i don not even feel goose bumps or a comforting warm feeling when I think or pray to him. People would think I have gone cuckoo were I to say I heard God’s voice.  Besides, it would be too much of an experience for me to probably survive it, as in nobody sees the face of the Lord and live. Like, a mild dose of radiation can be beneficial and healing but a full blast can be lethal. But I do get mild doses of the divine presence in my every day life. Jane hugs me and says “Lolo, I love you.” and that makes me warm all over. I feel his energy whenever I wake up early to pray as the sun slowly creeps up the horizon to start a brand new day. He leaves signs of his presence all over the place for me to notice. I only have to pay attention.

And he said to the man who had the withered hand, “Come forward.” Then he said to them, “Is it lawful to do good or to do harm on the sabbath, to save life or to kill?” Mark 3:1-6

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Morals and Laws

In a perfect world, what is moral and what is legal are one and the same thing. But often, what is legal is not necessarily legal. For the longest time, slavery was an accepted practice and was perfectly legal even though it was and is totally immoral. And what is even sadder is that sometimes what is immoral can be considered illegal. Freedom of religion and freedom of expression, so precious in many cultures, are still outlawed in many countries today.

Christ has always been able to distill goodness into its most basic elements. He said there is only one commandment he requires of his followers: Love. The most elaboration he would do is to love God above all else and to love your neighbor as you love yourself. He places the greatest value in the human person so that he says rules and regulations are made for men and not the other way around.

Then he said to them, “The sabbath was made for humankind, and not humankind for the sabbath; so the Son of Man is lord even of the sabbath.” Mark 2:23-28

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Making Room For Grace

When I am full of myself, I have no room for others in my life. If I am too busy with my concerns, I cannot be concerned about others. Oh, sometimes I make a little room for others to come into my life but it is usually time of my own choosing or time I need to kill anyway.

Pain, sorrow and suffering have the effect of making me realize how empty my live can sometimes be. Sometimes these empty moments are of my own making. At other times, they are inflicted on me by others or the circumstances. But the emptiness that I experience creates a space for grace to come in.

Prayer time is a conscious effort to empty myself of ‘myself’ and my concerns. And in the free space I create and in the silence, God can find room in my life. Muscles do not grow nor become strong with just one day of exercise but through sustained and consistent efforts. The emptying through prayer to make room for God does not happen in one day but through sustained and consistent spiritual exercises.

“No one sews a piece of unshrunk cloth on an old cloak; otherwise, the patch pulls away from it, the new from the old, and a worse tear is made. And no one puts new wine into old wine skins; otherwise, the wine will burst the skins, and the wine is lost, and so are the skins; but one puts new wine into fresh wine skins.” Mark 2:18-22

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Hope Is Unwavering Trust That My Water Will Turn Into Wine

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Some of the most touching and poignant moments during a Discovery Weekend happen during the Cana Meditation on Sunday morning. After a day of Faith (Friday) and a day of Love (Saturday), a couple caps their weekend together with a day of Hope. At the start of the weekend, on Friday, a couple comes together in response to a call. In Faith, they come – not really knowing what the Lord may have in store for them over the weekend. They come only with the belief that God is at work in their lives, with the belief that the person that they are is a worthy gift to the significant other with whom they will be spending the weekend, and ‘hopefully’ the rest of their life. On Saturday, they learn about the language of Love, its movements and its moments, the confidence and dialogue that make love grow. Then, on Sunday, starting with the Cana meditation, they learn about Hope and the mysterious and abiding presence of God in their lives.

In recent times, I have come to realize the difference between optimism and hope. In winter, optimism is the excitement and expectation of better things to come in spite of the cold and bare surroundings; that joy and fun are possible even in the midst of the gloom and barrenness of winter. Hope is the trust that, even in the dead of winter, nature is actively at work preparing for the life and colors of spring; the assurance and confidence that things will eventually work out the way they have been meant to be. Hope is the trust that the universe is unfolding as it should.

Optimism in a relationship or marriage is the excitement and expectation that things will be coming up roses; that together the couple will be able to fulfill all their dreams. Hope is the unwavering trust that God is at work in their lives and in their relationship; that the presence of the Lord will mean that goodness and kindness will be theirs in their life together. Just as Jesus turned water into wine at Cana, the hope of the couple is that Jesus will also transform the mundane and ordinary in their lives into unbridled joy, hope that Jesus would turn whatever shortages in their togetherness into fullness unmerited and unimagined. Hope is the realization that God, who became man, is present in my life every single moment making sure things happen they way they should.

Jesus did this, the first of his signs, in Cana of Galilee, and revealed his glory; and his disciples believed in him. John 2:1-11

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Yesterday Could Have Been Just Another Ordinary Day

Yesterday was a beautiful day. It was a warm, sunny winter’s day. Anabelle and I spent the most of it in Napa with Margie and capped it with dinner with Roy and Mila in El Sobrante. It was already an awesome day as it was but the chance encounters with two ordinary persons added an extra smile and color to the niceness of the entire day.

Early in the morning we had to have our blood drawn for our lab works. The phlebotomist who drew our blood must have seen the apprehension on my face and his first words to me were: “Smile. Life is meant to be lived happy.” And he put me thoroughly at ease with his small talk about doing what makes you happy, choosing to live your life on your own terms and not on others’, how the blood draw was going to be swift and almost painless. And its was. Then, he capped our brief encounter by drawing a smiley, happy face n the plaster he placed to protect my draw site from being infected. God bless such a wonderful man.

And then there was Paolo, who waited on us at the wine-tasting we had at Castello di Amorosa. Where I grew up, wine was a luxury and usually associated with fine dining. Paolo showed us how wine is part of everyday ordinary life, as it is in many cultures specially around the Mediterranean. Wine adds color and warmth to conversations and events. Appropriately chosen, wine completes any meal. There is wine for red meat, white meat, fish or pasta. There is wine for happy occasions and there is wine for somber moments. There is wine for laughter and there is wine for quiet moments of reflection. Thank God for a bubbly person such as Paolo.

Thank heavens for such chance encounters with ordinary people making an already beautiful day even more remarkable. Maybe it was part of their job to make us feel at ease. But I have seen grouchy med techs and dour waiters. Was this all totally serendipitous or do we attract to ourselves that which we deeply yearn for or that which we truly need? Or, there is someone who is looking out for us and sending us what we need most at each moment of our life and it is up to us to hear and follow the call?

And as he sat at dinner in Levi’s house, many tax collectors and sinners were also sitting with Jesus and his disciples–for there were many who followed him. When the scribes of the Pharisees saw that he was eating with sinners and tax collectors, they said to his disciples, “Why does he eat with tax collectors and sinners?” When Jesus heard this, he said to them, “Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick; I have come to call not the righteous but sinners.”Mark 2:13-17

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Body And Soul

One can look at the human body mechanistically and realize what an amazing machine the human body is. It is the only machine that can repair itself. Or one can look at man as an embodied spirit and see what fantastic places the human mind can go to or what wonderful dreams it can conjure unshackled from the physical limits of the body. But man is both body and spirit. A spirit burdened by worries and anxieties often results in a body afflicted by physical maladies. A lethargic body often results in a spirit given in to bouts of depression. When Christ healed people, he healed both their bodies and their spirits.

When they could not bring him to Jesus because of the crowd, they removed the roof above him; and after having dug through it, they let down the mat on which the paralytic lay. When Jesus saw their faith, he said to the paralytic, “Son, your sins are forgiven.’ Mark 2:1-5

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