Faith is building a relationship with a Presence who has had a profound effect in my life, directing everything that happens to me. Many times I have wished that my faith would be able to move mountains or could calm the storm or could heal the sick. It does not happen. At the same time, my life has been so richly blessed that I cannot claim I have been solely responsible for all the good things that have come upon me. It can only be because there Someone looking out for me and making all these good things happen in my life. Life itself is a gift, undeserved and unmerited.
There are times that I wish my faith would totally transform me, that people would see how my faith has changed me, how I have become and am a good person. I feel that I am still the same imperfect and weak and selfish person I have been struggling with all these years. But then again, this yearning for public affirmation might just be because of pride and vainglory, wishing for myself public acclaim. Let me instead, in silence and humility, thank God for the opportunities to have been and to still be in love for and at the service of the people I can, in my immediate here and now. Like, I did something yesterday for the people I love that have really made me feel good, very good in fact, even into the night and in my sleep.
She had heard about Jesus, and came up behind him in the crowd and touched his cloak, for she said, “If I but touch his clothes, I will be made well.” Immediately her hemorrhage stopped; and she felt in her body that she was healed of her disease. Mark 5:21-43