Often these days, I would catch myself looking at the mirror and thinking, “That is how I my father looked like.” I also see so much of him now in my mannerisms and behavior, his smile particularly. I would catch myself saying things he used to say or doing things he used to do. Sometimes, I think I begin to understand how he must have felt or how he must have thought. Like, I begin to realize how he must have felt when he looked at my sons as I look at my own grandchildren now: how such wonderful beings could have come into the world through me.
I also see my mother and begin to know and understand her better. I appreciate her tender loving care as I try to give these to my own family. I love being with people and I thank Ima for giving me the genes for sociability. And then I look at my sons and grandchildren, I often end up saying to myself, “Hey, they got that from me.” – often in thanksgiving and gratitude, sometimes in sadness and disappointment. Like, Jonathan is such an insightful person even at his tender age. I think I know where that came from and I am gratefully happy. He is also given to dark moods. “Ouch!” Sadly, he’s also got my brooding melancholia.
Indeed, if I just look at myself more deeply, I can find out a lot about where I came from, not only about my immediate source but also about my ultimate well-spring. Life is not easy but there is also no denying that life is full of beauty, goodness and truth. Everything around me tells me of our common source. Every act of love and caring from people around me tells me our common ultimate well-spring. If I can get a glimpse of this well-spring, I can also get a pretty good idea of where I am going to and what is in store for me in the future.
The heavens declare the glory of God; and the firmament proclaims his handiwork.
Jesus said, “I am the way and the truth and the life.
No one comes to the Father except through me.
If you know me, then you will also know my Father.
From now on you do know him and have seen him.”
John 14:6-7