Then he said to them, “But who do you say that I am?”
Peter said in reply, “The Christ of God.”
~ Luke 9:20
Christ has been an abiding presence and a constant companion in my life journey.
It was in Sixth Grade that I started having an inkling that he is active in my life. Fr. Lagerway MSC one time came to talk to our class and talked about their new seminary in Angeles. He asked who was interested to study there. I was one of those who raised their hands. And before I knew it I was in the seminary, but in Mother of Good Counsel Seminary in Apalit.
Before I knew it I was in college in San Carlos Seminary in Makati, where I matured into my adolescence. I would often wander how I ended up there. But there was someone leading me, guiding me. I have always believed it was Jesus.
Then , I was a teacher in Xavier. Totally not in my plans. But it seemed like someone had it planned out for me. Then, I found myself with a quixotic project of a radical start-up seminary. What were we thinking? A friend said, “If this be from God, it will prosper. If not, it will die out.” Martial law killed the project. Three of our comrades would be killed as rebels. But the lessons and memories from those years have forever shaped by life. I ended up a married man.
And then, my life just bloomed into a dream turning into reality. I started dreaming incredible and sometimes implausible dreams and one by one they would come true. This all started when I married Anabelle. Even now, I am still wondering how I ended up in the US and enjoying every moment of it.
I have always been prayerful all these years, always aware and grateful that Christ is with me. There are times I intensely feel his presence. There are times he is uncomfortably silent. Sometimes, I wonder if it is really Jesus I am talking to, or is it just me talking to myself. The best moments of prayer I experience and when I just remain still and silent and feel the promptings of Christ and the Spirit to attune myself to the will of the Father.
“Lord, you once stirred my heart with your presence. May I never do anything so horrible or hateful to you that you would leave me alone.”