As I was praying this morning and reflecting on today’s gospel reading, I found myself having this conversation with God:
I said: “Lord, it is wonderful to be here, to be alive. I am grateful you give me one day at a time to live. Sometimes, I wonder how many days I still have left. Or can I have all of my remaining days as a lump sum and live them the way I would, like when to spend them or how long they should last?”
The Lord replied: “I think I can do that for you. There will come a time that I will gather all your days, those that you have spent as well as all those that are yet to come and put them all into one big here and now. And we shall call that eternity. You can spend that with me.”
I said: “Lord, life has not exactly been easy for I have had many difficult moments. But all in all, it has been a truly wonderful journey. I thank you for all the people who have loved me and joined me in my journey. I thank you for all the wonderful events we shared together: the good times and the bad, the happy moments and the sad. Will I ever see them again? And will I even remember all of them and all the times we shared.”
The Lord replied: “I will bring you to a place where I will gather all your friends and loved ones together plus all the other people you would have wanted to meet during your life. I will prepare a banquet for you and you can have all the time to relive and remember all your times together. And we will call that place heaven, existing in the eternal here and now that I promised you.”
I said: “Lord, what made my time with my loved ones memorable were all the awesome emotions I shared with them: the love that made me feel like exploding from within, the peace that calmed me when I was troubled, the happiness that found spontaneous expression sometimes in laughter and at other times in tears.”
The Lord replied: “In heaven, there will be no more weeping and no more tears. There will only be everlasting love. That pretty much takes care of everything.”
I said: “Lord, this is all too much for me to understand or comprehend. Will I ever get the answers to all my questions?”
The Lord replied: “In your new and eternal life, you will be living in the shadows of my infinite wisdom and understanding and you will have no more need for answers as you bask and glory in My Presence.”
Real or imagined conversation?
This is essentially how my mind and my spirit is every morning I am in prayer.
O Lord, our God, how wonderful your name in all the earth!
While they were still speaking about this,
he stood in their midst and said to them,
“Peace be with you.”
But they were startled and terrified
and thought that they were seeing a ghost.
Then he said to them, “Why are you troubled?
And why do questions arise in your hearts?
Look at my hands and my feet, that it is I myself.
Touch me and see, because a ghost does not have flesh and bones
as you can see I have.”
Luke 24:36-39