Life Is Great. So How Come I Act Like This Was All A Random Event?

Life is a great gift. For all the difficulties in living, it is still wonderful to be alive. I came from my parents but that does not explain to me why I am here. I am deeply grateful to the God who gave me this gift of life.

I can live my life like it were a happy coincidence; that I came upon this earth and this life out of a serendipitous confluence of random event. Just as life on earth came about after millions of years of random events, so I was lucky to be who I am from the millions of possibilities. And when my time on earth is over, I shall banish back to where I came from – dust, water or some primal elements. After a few years no one will hardly remember me and after a few hundred years, I shall have been totally forgotten.

OR, I can live my life like I was chosen and called out purposefully by a loving Creator; that he has my name written in the palm of his hand. I am not a random event but one that was intentionally created to be happy and be with my Source. He guides me along every step of the way, constantly making me aware of his Presence. And when my time on earth is over, I will not vanish into oblivion. I shall spend eternity with him.

I have of course chosen to believe in the latter. It makes more sense than the first option. And yet I struggle to really feel this Presence in my life. I long to touch him, to feel him and hear his voice. But I don’t and can’t. i don not even feel goose bumps or a comforting warm feeling when I think or pray to him. People would think I have gone cuckoo were I to say I heard God’s voice.  Besides, it would be too much of an experience for me to probably survive it, as in nobody sees the face of the Lord and live. Like, a mild dose of radiation can be beneficial and healing but a full blast can be lethal. But I do get mild doses of the divine presence in my every day life. Jane hugs me and says “Lolo, I love you.” and that makes me warm all over. I feel his energy whenever I wake up early to pray as the sun slowly creeps up the horizon to start a brand new day. He leaves signs of his presence all over the place for me to notice. I only have to pay attention.

And he said to the man who had the withered hand, “Come forward.” Then he said to them, “Is it lawful to do good or to do harm on the sabbath, to save life or to kill?” Mark 3:1-6

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