What Am I Looking For?

We are each born into specific circumstances. The place and the family we are born into is a given over which we had no choice. The talents and abilities we are born with are also a given which we can only receive in gratitude. The times and the milieu we come upon are likewise a given, like cards we are dealt. Beyond these givens (from the same root word as ‘gifts’), everything else is pretty much up to me.

Given the gifts I have received, what have I been looking for? What am I still looking for? I have always been trying to seek and look for that Presence or Power who has made all of the wonderful happenings in my life possible. I know life can be difficult and it is very fragile. I have had my moments of difficulties, fragility and vulnerability. But I have not been broken irreparably. In fact, my life has been so blessed it is easier than most, more fruitful than most. But beyond the comparisons, there is no other way I would have had my life lived out that the way I had.

My blessings have been plentiful and manifold. And I just have to look at the people in my life to realize this. If I had looked for and sought pleasure and success. I would be surrounded by an entirely different set of people. If I had lusted after power or fame, it would be yet another set of persons in my life. As it is, I have been blessed, inspired and made better by people who are kind, gentle, loving, generous, giving, principled, persons of integrity, inspiring, committed, dedicated. Their goodness has somehow rubbed off on me and I pray I have shared some goodness with them as well.

What am I looking for? I am looking for my God who is the Source of all the givens and gifts in my life. His ultimate Presence is the ultimate present for me. I see him in the unfolding event is my life – no matter how simple or humble these may be. I see him in the people around me – how they make me aware of his love and care.

When Jesus turned and saw them following, he said to them, “What are you looking for?” They said to him, “Rabbi” (which translated means Teacher), “where are you staying?” He said to them, “Come and see.” They came and saw where he was staying, and they remained with him that day. It was about four o’clock in the afternoon. One of the two who heard John speak and followed him was Andrew, Simon Peter’s brother. He first found his brother Simon and said to him, “We have found the Messiah” (which is translated Anointed). John 1:35-42

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