Is it I who has changed or has the world become a more difficult place to live in?
I have become harder and harder of hearing over the last years. It is a struggle for me to hear what other people are saying, causing deep frustrations on my part and on others as well. In my prayers I even ask the Lord to speak louder as I cannot her what He is telling me. I fail to hear or even refuse to listen to ideas and opinions contrary to my own. And there are a lot of contrary opinions around me. I hear cries of pain, suffering and oppression around me and yet many others hear laughter over good news. My sight seems to also be failing me. I see things going to the dogs, spiraling into chaos and yet many people, even among those I admire and love, see things coming up roses.
I have always tried to be proactive, choosing to see the positive side of things and ignore the negative. But these days, the reality that I see and hear (or, that I do not see and hear) speaks of and tells me that the world is indeed become a more difficult place to live in. Yes, it is a depressing feeling.
I am trying desperately to cling to my faith. This is what I signed up for as a believer. I am not supposed to be here and yet I am here. And there, but for the grace of God go I. He is the God who turns things upside down. It is when everything is lost that He works out the best outcomes.
And in today’s Gospel reading, He has a mouthful for me:
“If you love those who love you,
what credit is that to you?
Even sinners love those who love them.
And if you do good to those who do good to you,
what credit is that to you?
Even sinners do the same.
Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you,
Bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.
Give to everyone who asks of you,
Forgive and you will be forgiven.
Give, and gifts will be given to you;
a good measure, packed together, shaken down, and overflowing,
will be poured into your lap.
For the measure with which you measure
will in return be measured out to you.”
Hard sayings. Difficult to do in today’s difficult world.
But do I give vent to my feelings and make things worse?
Or, Do I go against my worst emotions and trust in His Word?