My generation has officially entered Old Age. We are slowly but surely moving into retirement. Gone are the days of the crazy pursuit of success, the hectic busy-ness of carving a career, the frantic struggles to find and keep employment. Gone too are the days when I had a long to-do list, when I had to work literally half day – from seven in the morning till seven in the evening, for days on end. Gone are the certainties and the answers of youth. Instead there are now the doubts and anxieties of old age. Many of my generation feel that they have had the best years of their lives. I feel that my best years are yet to come.
In my youth, I saw my life as a river, relentlessly flowing towards the sea. Most days are calm and the river gently flows on. But there are times the rivers is a wild torrent of rampaging rapids. There are times when the waters overflow and flood the the banks. These days, my life is more like a serene pond, with the waters still and refreshing. Sometimes a pebble is thrown and the ripples it creates moves across slowly across the entire pond. And yet, the pond is full of life and beauty. Birds and bugs fly all around it. Frogs and fishes find a home in the fresh clean waters. Flowers and fronds line the fringes and some grow out of the floor of the pond. A river runs until it reaches the sea. A pond waits patiently.
In youth, I had all the answers. And that gave me a sense of certainty. Even when I had no clear answer, I tried to act confidently. Now that I am old, I have come to doubt man of my old certainties, like do the things I do really matter? And yet, in my old age with my doubts and questions, I have learned to be more humble, more tolerant and more accepting of the beauty and goodness that comes to me. The answers in my youth made me smarter and gave me confidence. The questions in my old age are making me wiser and more at peace with myself and the world around me.
So, have I seen the the best years of my life? No, I really believe the best years are yet to come. I still want to experience what it means to have nowhere to rest my head. I Still want to live life without having to worry about burying the dead. And it is up to me to make these happen.
Remember this, you who never think of God.
When Jesus saw a crowd around him,
he gave orders to cross to the other shore.
A scribe approached and said to him, “Teacher, I will follow you wherever you go.”
Jesus answered him, “Foxes have dens and birds of the sky have nests,
but the Son of Man has nowhere to rest his head.”
Another of his disciples said to him, “Lord, let me go first and bury my father.”
But Jesus answered him, “Follow me, and let the dead bury their dead.”
Matthew 8:18-22