Growing Old and The Last Jedi

I have always been a Star Wars fan. Not a fan-atic one though. A lot has been said, written and posted about the latest episode, “The Last Jedi”. Real fans called it the best Star Wars film so far. Critics dissed it as a bad movie. With good insights and observations from both sides. One of the more interesting reviews I came across put the movie in the context of aging – of Luke Skywalker. And being the age that I am on now, that resonated a lot with me.

So, Rey goes on a quest looking for Luke Skywalker, the Last Jedi, so that he can mentor her into becoming a Jedi to help her in the fight against the First Order. She finds him in a remote corner of the universe – the ghost of his former self. No longer the dashing and brave fighter that he was in earlier episodes. Beset by doubts and regrets from his past. No longer burning with faith and hope in fighting for what is good and true. Instead, just waiting for the end, wishing it to come soon and unnoticed.

Old age seems to have that effect on people. Aging wastes away the body as well as the spirit. It shrivels up muscles as well as the light of faith that burned brightly in one’s youth. The faith that made one willing and eager to get up in the morning and get things down. Now, it is a lingering malaise that sees nothing much in the future and forgetting all that one had lived for and accomplished.

The challenge of old age is to keep that faith burning. To remain true to one’s self, to one’s beliefs and principles, and to one’s family, friends and partners. The great temptation of old age is lose that faith and deny the truth of one’s life.

In old age, one may begin to lose faith in one’s self. As physical and mental faculties start withering away, one also loses one’s self-worth. Specially when one becomes dependent on others – physically, financially, mentally, emotionally. All the achievements of the past and of one’s youth count for nothing now. Yes, I’d rather hie off to some remote place like Luke did.

When one is old, it is difficult to keep faith in one’s principles and ideals. In my youthful idealism, I wanted to change the world and society and to help build a new one based on justice, kindness and compassion. I realize now that those were all pipe dreams. In some instances, I have been co-opted by the system I sought to bring down. I have been complicit in some practices I use to denounce. I’d rather keep quiet rather than speak about my failed dreams and quixotic quests.

As old age creeps in, even the people around me change. Some for the better. Others for the worse. And still others simply fade away and disappear. Some have gone ahead. Others have taken a different path. And still others have completely moved over to the dark side. I am thankful there are those who have stayed and have remained in their love and faith in me – in spite of myself.

Is there redemption in the end? This is the ultimate life-saving belief. That in spite of everything, there will be a perfecting of life, a completion of the unfinished projects and creation, that the light will overpower the darkness, that life is stronger than death, and that goodness will vanquish evil.

My prayer in my old age is that in spite of all the doubts, cynicism and apprehensions I go through as I age; I will be able to keep faith in myself and my essential goodness, in the people whom I have loved and loved me immeasurable, and in the principles and ideals that have given meaning to my whole life. May I stay with my foundational and basic option to be a force for life and for the good, the true, the beautiful.

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Nature And The Gospels

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Nature also teaches us spiritual truths if we just are open to her wisdom.
We are hiking and we chance upon this cluster of berries among the trees, along the trail.
And by just looking, I realize that life will not be denied.
Even the harshest conditions, life will find a way.
It does not end in death.
Beauty is more than enough excuse to endure evil in the world.
Nature is never in a hurry and yet everything gets done in due time,
year in and year out, season after season.
We abuse Nature and yet she lives on.
We realize too late the consequences can be very harsh – for us.

The Gospels are rich in spiritual truths that are self-evident,
common sense knowledge and yet very profound wisdom:

“No one sews a piece of unshrunk cloth on an old cloak;
otherwise, the patch pulls away from it,
the new from the old, and a worse tear is made.
And no one puts new wine into old wineskins;
otherwise, the wine will burst the skins, and the wine is lost, and so are the skins;
but one puts new wine into fresh wine skins.”

“The Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath.
So the Son of Man is Lord even of the Sabbath.”

“When it is evening, you say, ‘It will be fair weather, for the sky is red.’
And in the morning, ‘There will be a storm today, for the sky is red and threatening.’”

“No man can serve two masters:
for either he. will hate the one, and love the other;
or else. he will hold to the one, and despise the other.”

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Musings on MLKJr Day

Last Monday was MLK Day in the US.
His message and work for freedom, justice and equality
remain relevant to this day.

The bias and prejudices he opposed are still around even today.
Many of them are deeply embedded in the culture and society’s structures.
His life continues to be a witness and a challenge to many.
That life is stronger than death.
That only light can drive away the darkness.
That love is the only force that can transform an enemy into a friend.
And through it all, to persist and persevere in fighting evil
and doing what is right.

In some places, the oppression and exploitation is naked and unsubtle.
It is unthinkable that even today there are people
who could think of themselves as the owner of other people,
having a lien or bond over them,
even though this might be in a benign and benevolent way.
Even today, why are there still people,
and in some instances whole societies,
who would consider children and women as goods and chattels
to be owned and possessed as any material thing or object?
Love, compassion and forgiveness are the obvious answers.
But they are so obvious, right under our noses, that we don’t see them.
Oh when will we ever learn?
Oh when will we ever learn?

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This Is Probably What Prayer Is About

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Yesterday, Anabelle and I again went on a hike
at Pulgas Ridge in the Santa Cruz mountains.
It was slightly overcast and a bit chilly.
But that made for an invigorating and salutary hike.

As we were walking, I was thinking:
how could I enjoy all this beautiful scenery and colors were I to lose my sight?
how could I enjoy the cool mountain breeze on my face were I to lose my sense of touch? how can I hear the trilling sounds birds around if I would lose my hearing?
how can I smell the sweet scent of the trees and wild flowers without my sense of smell?

Then, another thought struck me:
I could see more varied and vibrant colors when I closed my eyes;
I could hear more sounds and more melodious music when I shut my ears;
I could smell heaven when I stop smelling earthly scents.
Yes, I could feel eternity when I closed my senses,
when I go beyond and transcend time and space .

I guess this is what prayer is all about:
beyond the immediacy of the senses,
yet staying in the here and now,
is the encounter with what truly is.

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What It Means To Be A Christian Today

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I seek to be good because of the challenge of Christ for me to be perfect.
And yet when He came and proclaimed the good news;
He sought out sinners, loose women and tax collectors
(who even then were already known to be corrupt).
He had a special place in His heart for the outcasts like lepers,
the abandoned like the poor and orphans,
children and widows who did not have a voice,
the sick and the afflicted who had no one else to turn to.
And He transformed their lives by bringing them wholeness
and sharing with them His the fullness of life.
This is the perennial attraction of Christ for me.
He did not write philosophical tracts.
Nor did He preach dogmas and doctrine.
He told stories and parables.
He gave sermons which were memorable
because they came from the heart.

The story of Christ has to be -rewritten for each generation.
Today, this story is being written in loving and caring Christian communities.
It is being lived out in the lives of people who serve.
It is told by the lives of people whose lives have been touched by Him.
These are people who have encountered Christ
and have their lives changed because of the resulting personal relationship
they have developed with Him.

I recently finished reading Credo, a book by Hans Kung on the Apostles’ Creed.
The Creed is about dogma and doctrine.
But Kung mad it come alive by writing about the Christ and His teachings
in the context of today’s society.

In conclusion, Kung wrote:

“By following Jesus Christ, 
people in the world today
can live, act, suffer and die
in a truly human way,
in happiness and unhappiness,
in life and death,
sustained by God and helpful to fellow men and women.”

“Being a Christian realizes a radical humanism which can cope with not only all that is positive also with all that is negative – sin, guilt, meaninglessness, death – out of a last unshakable trust in God which does not rely on its own achievements but on God’s grace.” Hans Kung writes in the final pages of his book.

 

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What Are The Odds?

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Since time immemorial, men have always looked up the skies in wonder and awe. Distant and vast space might be, men have looked to the stars, planets and the moon as having influence on their lives, even ascribing divine powers to these celestial bodies. Indeed, these celestial bodies influence our lives in ways we only now are beginning to understand.

The universe is estimated to be about 14 billion years old. And in this vast universe there are between 100 billion and 200 billion galaxies according the experts. And each galaxy is made up of billions of stars. In the face of such vastness and awesome magnitude, how can one even imagine nothing. Because there is something (the universe), there must have been a beginning or an origin. Scientists generally agree that is the Big Bang. What are the odds of the universe just exploding spontaneously versus its having a creator? I’d bet on it having a Creator.

Our galaxy, the Milky Way. is a medium sized one, located almost at the edge of the universe. Experts estimate that it has a mass of about 100 billion solar masses, so it is easiest to translate that to 100 billion stars. And each of these stars have planets revolving around them. We live on a small planet revolving around a medium star (our sun), again located near the fringes of the Milky Way. What are the odds that we are alone? Because of the sheer number of planets, experts believe we are not alone in the universe. I’d bet we are alone in the universe.

Let’s come down to earth. Recently, both the Mega Millions lotto and the Powerball lotto paid out almost half a billion dollars to a few luck winners. The odds of winning one of the jackpots is roughly one in 259 million for Mega Millions and one in 292 million for Powerball. For all intents and purposes, it almost impossible to win with those kind of odds. And yet a few people do win. But each human being has in fact already won in the lottery of life. When copulating, a healthy adult male can release between 40 million and 1.2 billion sperm cells in a single ejaculation. Our odds of being in this world is one in a billion. Any other sperm cell that fertilized our mother’s egg cell and we would be totally different persons, as different as we are from our siblings.

God had a choice in creating me. He had a choice to do otherwise. He, who made the universe, the stars and the planets, willed that I would exist. He said: “I do choose. Be!” God had other options and He held all the odds of me coming into being.

In my case, God is not an option. He holds me in the palm of His hand and sustains me in my existence. Still He created me like him – a free spirit. And because of my free will, I can say otherwise and this is my prayer: “I do choose You. Make me be like you.”

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Caring For The Elderly

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Alzheimer’s disease is a dreadful condition for those afflicted. Imagine slowly losing your memory and mental faculties day by day. Ulianin, is how we used to call them in Filipino. A distorted version of Benjamin Button, where as one ages in reverse, behaving more and more life a child who is learning to take his first steps or to speak his first words or to just begin to do things for one’s self awkwardly. But the burden of the disease is as heavy, if not heavier, on those taking care of the afflicted.

One needs a lot of patience and love in taking care of a loved one with Alzheimer’s. The afflicted person will likely not remember you nor even still know how to do things for himself. One husband taking care of his wife with Alzheimer’s would have given up when the wife did not even recognized him anymore. But with great love and patience, he persevered taking care of her, saying “She may not remember me anymore. but I have not forgotten her nor the love we shared.”

More than the love and patience, we owe people with Alzheimer’s a lot of respect. How they are now or how they are acting is not who they were in life. These people were more likely accomplished persons in their time. They raised families with love and care. They made their children and loved ones the persons they are today. My mother had a mild case of Alzheimer’s. We treated her with love, patience and respect till her last days.

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Sleep And Be In God’s Presence

Today is the birthday of a mentor, a brother, and a friend. He has gone to sleep in eternity. I am sharing one poem he wrote:

 

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There are nights when sleep does not
come right away
Go to bed, not to sleep,
but to go into sleep awareness
If sleep follows
Well and good
If not, experience in bed,
the relaxation and peace

Of a deeper level of existence

Try this – go to bed not in order to sleep
Go to bed meditating
The sleep that follows will be a restful, healthy
And holy sleep

I have this strange notion that we are closest to God when we are asleep.
When we are awake, so many things demand our attention.
When we are asleep, our senses are at rest and so is our consciousness.
But our subconscious and unconscious are still active.
Undistracted by our senses and our consciousness,
that is when we can be most open to God.
It is no wonder that in many of the readings during the Christmas season,
there were many instances God spoke his message to people in their sleep
or through their dreams.
Just wondering if this makes sense.
Just wondering if this were the real thing.

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Boon Or Bane?

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Today, I read the story of a dutiful son who took care of his mother with Alzheimer’s disease. It was a very touching and poignant story.

People with Alzheimer’s lose their memories due to the gradual degeneration of the brain. Because they have no memories, neither do they have dreams and hopes. We dream and hope for the future because of our past. Thus, people with Alzheimer’s life in a perpetual NOW. Much like what eternity is. Much like what many wise men tell us to do – to live in the present moment. Much like a divine milieu, beyond the boundaries of time and space.

Alzheimer’s is a burden mainly for the caregiver. But is it really that bad for the sufferer? I sometimes wonder.

We seem to have more cases of Autism these days than at any time in the past. Is Autism truly a disorder or will this be the new normal in the future? Autistic persons have fantastic abilities that is a source of wonder for normal people. Are they suffering from a disorder just because they are different from most of us? Or, are they the first of the new in our evolution as a species?

In his novel, The Clowns of God, Morris West had his characters discussing why God allows evil in the world, specifically why does He allow children with birth defects (like Down’s Syndrome or Autism) to be even born. Such children become the object of compassion and, thus, become occasions for other people to be kinder and gentler. Also such souls are never touched by sin and suffering. They are closer to heaven and the angels than are normal, ordinary human beings.

Who are we to judge then whether a certain state or condition is a bane or a curse. It could very well be a boon and a blessing. We just do not know or see it.

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Magi And Epiphanies

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Today is the Feast of the Epiphany. Traditionally, this is the Christmas celebration in the Eastern Orthodox Church. In many countries in the West, this is the Feast of the Three Kings, when children, specially in Spain, get to receive their Christmas presents. All of these are honored traditions. Based on the Gospels, there were no kings but wise men. They were not three but they did bring three gifts of gold, frankincense, and myrrh.

The Wise Men were known as Magi, Magus in the singular. They were seekers of knowledge and wisdom. In ages past, they would have been philosophers. Today, they would be like our researchers, scientists, engineers and inventors. In their searching for truth, knowledge and wisdom, they would come upon some ‘AHA’ moments, when some things would all of a sudden, or finally, make sense and they understand. An Epiphany.

There have been several wise men, Magi, who have come into my life and brought me to many epiphanies. I remember some of them:

ESR. He was my favorite teacher in high school. I was struggling with my Geometry and asked him how would I know how to sequence the formula in my Geometry equations. He just gave me a big laugh. I should have been slighted. Instead all of a sudden, I realized the perfect logic in Geometric equations. He also taught me a deep appreciation for words, both written and spoken.

EF. My favorite professor in college. I enjoyed listening to his lectures. He would start off with a seemingly mundane and ordinary topic and would soon be leading us into discussing very deep and very human insights. Or, he would tell of a series of apparently disjointed or unrelated events, ideas or persons and then all of a sudden tie them all up into a meaningful and significant whole.

CHA. My favorite biblical scholar. He literally opened my eyes, my heart and my mind on the meaning and relevance of the Scriptures to my daily life. He would often say that a Christian should live his life with the Bible in one hand and the daily newspaper in the other. One tells him what is happening in the world and the other, how to respond what is happening in the world. He helped me to realize that Christ is truly alive and present in my daily life. When he was nearing death, which he clearly saw coming, he told me with a smile, “There is something after death, Verne. And there is someone out there, waiting.”

THG. My mentor in Spirituality. I was not really clear on how to relate to the Jesus that CHA helped me discover. THG helped me make real a life in the spirit. He taught me how to have a real relationship with Jesus. His insights on prayer are priceless. Even now, I practice what he has taught me through almost two decades of spiritual direction.

HJM. My mentor in business. He was the boss with whom I worked the longest. He was a small-town man who made it big in the city. His ways were simple and often humble. But he came across as rough and tough. For people who did not know him, he came across as brusque, offensive, and aggressive. But deep inside, he was all heart and generous to a fault. He was astute and at the same time very judicious in managing the assets assigned to his care, including human assets. He taught me that good people do not always finish first in the rough-and-tumble world of business. But they always last.

ARAB. My mentor in leaving a legacy. I worked with him when I had achieved a modicum of success in my career as a marketing executive. He would often take us on flights of idealistic fancy during our weekly meetings with him, showing how and why we should contribute to making our clientele and our country better. The amazing thing about him is that after the flight, he would land us back to reality and we would hit the ground running. I did accomplish a lot working for him.

JLC. One of the top C-level Executives I have worked for. In the fiercely competitive environment where he excelled, I was always impressed how he managed to keep his spiritual life active and authentic. In the beginning, I thought it was all a put-on and just for show. The longer I worked with him, I realized it was deep-seated and truly springing from genuine spiritual source. He tried and often succeeded to bring Christ in the places he worked in without being dogmatic or proselytizing.

These are some Magi, who have inspired me in my life. There are many others; because in many other places and times, “many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism.” 

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