One And Done or Work In Progress?

P1540312The Resurrection is often seen and interpreted as a ‘one and done’ event. We have all been redeemed by Christ on Calvary. But I think that Redemption is better seen as a ‘work in progress’. That is why we also view our faith story as Salvation History. Yes, God is the god of the perfect, the immutable and the eternal. He is also the God in Process.

His work of creation is not a one and done event. It is still on-going. So Christ’s work of redemption is also not a one and done event. It is still unfolding today. We have been redeemed by Christ’s passion death and resurrection. But also not yet. We have yet to complete the redemption event in the process of our life. God is not omnipotent in the sense of being coercive. The divine power is one of persuasion rather than force.

It seems to me that the first the Resurrection proclaimed in the Gospels is more like a gradual realization of Christ’s continuing presence among them. But did the apostles actually see a Risen Lord? Yes, they did! But they first time they experienced him, they did not recognize him. Over the breaking of the bread they shared, they eventually opened their eyes ( and minds and hearts) to the Risen Lord. Many of his apparitions were over shared meals: dinner in the room where Thomas was absent and again when Thomas was there, then at breakfast by the shores of Lake Tiberias.

We live in an instant and disposable society. We want things to be readily and instantly available to us. So, most of these are in disposable packagings – one and done, like disposable tissues or instant coffee pods. So, we ask that of God. We want our salvation a one and done event. And we want it instantly demanding that God shows us signs and wonders (miracles) to prove it to us. We want our God to do it our way.

Let us instead let God be God. And God works in process. It took the universe billions of years to prepare a place hospitable to human life. And another millions of years for a single cell organism became a human being. That is the great miracle – the gift of life. And life is not a one and done thing. It is a process, an unfolding. It entails all the joys and sorrows, the laughter and the tears, the defeats and the victories and even the humdrum events of  daily life. Then, all of these come together and we see the hand of God in that unfolding.

The more sensitive we are to this Divine unfolding, the more we are enfolded in God’s blessed presence and in his loving embrace.

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The Empty Tomb

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When I was young, I would imagine the Resurrection as one very dramatic event. It must have begun as a rumbling on the ground, that soon turned into an earthquake. Then there was a sound and an intense light coming from within the tomb where Jesus was buried, like an energy with a strong force. The energy was so strong that it rolled away the big stone guarding the entrance of the cave. Then, a strong delightful fragrance filled the air, as some angelic voices seemed to sing a triumphal hymn in the background. Then, Jesus emerged from the tomb alive and glorious in his victory over death, floating just a few inches above the ground.

But it seems it did not happen that way. First, there was no witness to the actual resurrection. All the women found was an empty tomb. Peter and John went to check and they saw the same thing – an empty tomb. The apostles, still in hiding and fearful for their lives, wondered who might have taken the body and where they might have placed it. After the empty tomb, the apostles and disciples experienced a series of apparitions. In the beginning, these apparitions were met with doubt and skepticism. Thomas must not have been the only doubting Thomas in the group. But gradually it dawned on them that this was the Risen Lord whom they were encountering and their sadness and fear turned into joy and peace. All they have been experiencing with the Risen Christ would be validated at Pentecost at the coming of the Holy Spirit.

And so, it is with how God acts in our lives, my life. Rarely does God come in lightning and thunder. Sure, there are important events in my life. Some are dramatic and spectacular, bringing about a paradigm shift in me. But when I look back, it was not a once-and-done thing. There were a series of small events that preceded it. A chance encounter here; some problems encountered there; small and seemingly unrelated event everywhere. Then, either slowly or suddenly, things fall into place. And I am simply awed by the hand of God leading acting in my life.

The changes on my life have not been as dramatic as St. Paul on the road to Damascus. I am more like the two disciples on the road to Emmaus. I have come to know and love the Lord better by paying attention to my feelings, searching his words as he speaks to me through many means, breaking bread and sharing meals with him through my family, friends, and community. I too found in myself the tomb empty. And it was in that emptiness that I truly encountered and found my Risen Lord.

 

 

 

 

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An Easter Walk

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Anabelle and I love to walk and we often go on hikes.
I love to feel the earth beneath my feet and relish her freshness sweet.
I love being surrounded by nature’s trees rather than the city’s streets.
I’d sooner go forest-bathing than to splash around in some resort pool.

And there is more to walking than simply treading or stomping the ground.
Like, what I love even more than simply walking is being able to walk away.
I have always been a glutton for recognition and affirmation.
I move on to other projects or to other engagements
when I don’t get my fix of ego-boosting strokes.
I recall the string of bosses I have worked for and
how I would hand in my resignation whenever I feel
I have not been given the recognition and affirmation I deserved.

But there are people and commitments I cannot walk away from.
These are the people I have pledged to keep in my heart forever.
These are the beliefs I will always hold deep in my heart even in times of serious doubts.
I am nailed down to them.
There are times it is not easy.
It is like feeling the pain and suffering of the cross.
But in the end, I realize Good Friday is not just about the pain
and the sufferings of being nailed to the cross,
but of staying fixed and not walking away
from the people I love and the beliefs that inspire my life.
And then I find myself walking that road to Emmaus
and enjoying the company of my Risen Lord,
relishing the glory and the joy of that first Easter morning.
I love doing my own walk to Emmaus.

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Faith and Love, Always Together

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Could life ever come from rocks and stones?
Doesn’t seem possible, experience tells me.
Even so, scientists say we really came from rocks and dust from the stars.

Should there be anything at all?
there could have been just nothing for all eternity
and no one would have noticed at all.
Still, we are here and the only reality we know is life.

Does life end with death?
Looks like it since experience tells me that
everything must end some day.
Still in all, something deep inside me knows and yearns and believes
that life is changed and never taken away.

Many may say that the Resurrection is not possible.
But there are just too many signs for me to believe otherwise.
Just as life is stronger than nothingness,
Faith is stronger than my doubts.

Faith, and its natural twin Love, have always brought me Light and Life.
Faith without deeds is dead and love without action is but pretension.
True love sets no limits.
It sets no conditions.
Often, I find myself setting limits and conditions
before I open up in love and care:
is the other person truly deserving?
am I just being taken for a ride?
will I get hurt helping this person?
am I getting the short end of this transaction?
do I lose out in the end?
And before I can answer these questions,
or even just clear them out of my mind,
the opportunity to love, to care has passed away.
Christ preached love.
But, more importantly he lived and acted out what he was preaching about.

Easter is a celebration that faith changes everything in my life.
Easter is an affirmation that I have accepted Christ’s commandment of Love.

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Some Truths Are Immeasurable

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The scientific method puts a premium on predictability,
repeatability and the central tendency in its statistical analysis.
One essential tool of the scientific method is measurement.
Even among managers, it is axiomatic to say that
what cannot be measured cannot be managed.
Yet, these oft quoted words – often wrongly attributed to Einstein –
also have a clear ring of the truth in them:
Not everything that can be counted counts,
and not everything that counts can be counted.

While I love reading about science and
am always amazed by scientific achievements,
I feel I am essentially an non-science person.
I am usually unpredictable and I hate it
when others try to second guess my words or actions.
I do not believe I am repeatable.
I am unique and there will never be another event quite like me.
I dislike being part of a central tendency.
I rather relish being an outlier in any mass of data.
Christ, while predicting many events in his life, did what was totally unexpected
and unpredictable to the Jews of his time.
They were crying for justice; he preached love.
They expected a political messiah to liberate them from the Romans;
he was instead crucified by the Romans.
They went to great lengths to observe the many stipulations of the law
– more than 600 of them –
he left just one great commandment.
They thought they had put him to death.
He rose again on the third day.
Science is hard put trying to measure and therefore explain the Resurrection.
That does not mean it did not happen.

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Easter: A Celebration of Faith

P1540257Life is such a wonderful experience that many people are afraid to even think about it or that they will some day die. Yet, the reality is that life does not end with death. In fact, I have recently come to realize that there is only one reality – LIFE. Because there is life, anything and everything is possible. And when there is no life, nothing is possible because no thing exists.

Science, for all the incredible technologies and the wonderful conveniences that it has brought into our lives today, has neither the facility nor the categories to explain life after death. But anyone who has deeply imbibed the beauty of nature (such as hiking up an awesome vista or watching an exciting sunrise or a blazing sunset) or have seen people coming together in peace and love (as in the EDSA I People Power revolution or the coming down of the Berlin Wall) or have seen grace at work in forgiveness and reconciliation (as in seeing young children lining up to do their first confession) will have had a glimpse of eternity.

I am usually not one given to the practical and rational. I love wasting time on Facebook connecting with people. I love long walks and long drives even with no particular purpose or destination. I love reading materials that I will never put to productive use. I go for mushy and meaningless affirmations and conversations. I would go for the spontaneous and the ridiculous anytime.

It is rational to expect that all things must eventually come to an end. Yet, life is replete with instances when the irrational makes more sense than the rational. Like when we do what is contrarian to make sense of things: the first shall be last and the last first; that to gain my life, I must be willing to give it up; that it is only when I am willing to give that I receive; and that to live I have to in fact die. The cross was the ultimate symbol of defeat for the Romans; but fool on the hill made the cross a sign of victory and I have tried all my life to follow that pitiful man they have nailed on it.

The believer, through Faith, is able to transform the ordinary into something extraordinary, the mundane into something magical and the petty into something pretty. With Faith, every new day becomes a wonderful present and every adversity becomes an opportunity to become better and stronger. In Faith, Christ took on the cross, the worst penalty for criminals then in the Roman Empire, and transformed it into an enduring and eternal symbol of unconditional love and great sacrifice.

I am blessed twice whenever I count my blessings: first, when I actually receive the blessing and second when I recall and remember it in gratitude. Often, I forget the blessings and graces I have in my life. And even more often, I forget the source of all the blessings. In prayer, I acknowledge all the graces and blessings I have received in humble gratitude, like emptying my cup to make it ready to receive yet more blessings, fully aware of the Source and the Cause.

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An Easter Story

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We just came from the Easter vigil here in our Parish of Saint Lawrence the Martyr. This celebration never fails to inspire and move me. It is the longest rite of the Church but also the most well-attended. It is also the night when catechumens are baptized and candidates are confirmed. And tonight was specially meaningful for me as a good friend will be among those who will be initiated into the Catholic Church.

Bobby de Leon (not his real name) and I used to work for the same company. In fact, he was my boss. I enjoyed working with him as we shared many views in common. We did not always agree but the respect and the trust in each other were always there. When I was about to make a major decision in my life (like moving to the US); he was one of the few trusted persons I consulted.

Last month, I was very happy and shocked to receive a note from him, saying among other things this:

By end of month I will be officially a Roman Catholic.
Some of my friends are astonished.
But for me a long path in the right direction.
I feel amazingly comfortable in the RC church here.
And you my friend started and assisted my path, 
although you did not know it at that time.
Thank you
For your guidance and inspiration

I was elated for I always knew Bobby and I shared more than the jokes we bantered each other with or our common dedication to work. I was shocked, flabbergasted, dumbfounded that I should be instrumental in his journey of faith. I thank the Lord for this gift for Bobby. But I must declare that I feel I had nothing to do with it. I had no intention of doing so. Nor was I even remotely aware that I gave him “guidance and inspiration”.

This is almost scary for me. I want to be close to the Lord. But I am scared that this is too close for comfort. How did this happen? Why? What did I do?

Some of the best years of my career I spent with Bobby. It was fun for me. I never realized it was something deeper for him. Life indeed is very strange. There are surprises and then there are unexpected twists and turns. Out of the depths of winter comes the spring. And the lush verdant leaves of summer all too soon fall to the ground.

On a deeper level, I have realized that life is the only reality. That is what Easter is all about – a reminder that life is stronger than death; only light can dispel the darkness; that evil cannot drive out hate, only love can do that; that goodness will always triumph over evil.

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Holy Saturday

Now, he lies in the tomb, dead as a doornail after being nailed on the cross. The apostles have all scurried and been scattered: lost, confused and very fearful for their own lives. This is not how it is supposed to end. Just a few days earlier, he entered Jerusalem in triumph and now this. They must all been wondering, “Is this what we left everything for to follow him? A shameful and horrific ending?”

Did Jesus die in vain? I look around today and I see decency buried in endless scandals and wrongdoings. Principles have also been nailed to the cross, observed more in their breach than in their keeping. Where is Christ’s commandment of love and his message of forgiveness and compassion? And I am party to this disappointing situation. I should be contributing to making the world a better place; but I often find myself adding to the pain and suffering – in myself and in others.

Yet, this is the person who upended their lives, changing them all for the better. They were moved and inspired by his words. Their mouths were agape at the wondrous deeds he performed. Their hearts burned with love and compassion as he sent them out in pairs to proclaim his gospel and the coming of the kingdom.

Yes, I too have been changed. Many times and in many ways. By him. I thought I have left everything for his sake. He gave me so much back in return. He brought me to places and people I could never have imagined for myself. He led me along paths that seemed dangerous; and he always brought me through.

Yet, here was a man who was not afraid to proclaim his love for his friends, his followers. On his last night with them, he served them and washed their feet in humility. Then, he left them his commandment of love. He promised to be with them always. So was he a failure? Not when you see what the twelve have done and left behind. They all suffered persecution and most died martyrs for their faith in him, their blood becoming the seed of the Church.

I feel frightened and scared when I hear Jesus proclaim his love for me. He speaks often with actions and only sometimes with words. The things that have happened and been happening in my life have been proof enough that Christ is with me. The blessings I and my loved ones have received speak volumes of his love and care for us. It scares me to think how present he really is in my life. And they are times, I would have goose bumps just realizing how close he is.

What sometimes scare me is the question: what will he ask for in return? He doesn’t. He loved us first and unconditionally. His love does not need to be repaid. He just wants the best for me, not seeking anything in return. It would be utterly shameless and unfeeling of me not to respond.

 

Don’t you think it’s rather funny, I should be in this position.
I’m the one who’s always been So calm, so cool, no lover’s fool,
Running every show. He scares me so.
I never thought I’d come to this. What’s it all about?

Yet, if he said he loved me, I’d be lost. I’d be frightened.
I couldn’t cope, just couldn’t cope. I’d turn my head. I’d back away.
I wouldn’t want to know. He scares me so.
I want him so. I love him so.

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Good Friday

Good Friday is the saddest day in Christendom. It marks the death of Jesus. He did not simply die. He was put to death, executed. He was not simply executed. He was tortured for many hours and in many different ways before he died. He did not merely die. He was nailed to the cross, crucifixion being the the capital punishment that the Romans reserved for the most notorious criminals. It was so gory no Roman citizen was ever crucified. It was a penalty meant only for barbarians, i.e. non-Roman citizens.

There was extreme torture within Christ as he saw his death coming. It was so horrific that he asked the Father to let the chalice pass away from him. But when he was given up to death, it was a death he freely accepted. For all the pain and the sufferings, Jesus still was obedient unto to death, “Father, not my will but yours be done.”

Life is wonderful. But pain and suffering are an essential part of being human. Often, when we pray; we would want to change God and have him act or behave according to what we want. Jesus taught us how to truly pray. We pray that God changes us so that we may do and follow his will. We pray from wisdom and discernment to know and understand his will. We pray for strength and courage so that we follow and do his biding even it this means going through painful agony.

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Holy Thursday

There is nothing like a shared meal that binds family and friends together. Memories and stories shared around the table are the glue that cement relationships. Often, when we share a meal, we love to recall all our past meals together. The Last Supper was one such event.

“Do this in memory of me.” There is one song whose lyrics never fail to touch my innermost.

We remember how you loved us to your death
And still we celebrate for you are with us here
And we believe that we will see you when you come in your glory, Lord.
We remember, we celebrate, we believe.

All such shared meals are a celebration of love and caring. Agape (ἀγάπη), the early Christians called it. At this last meal with his friends, Jesus showed them his love for them. He washed their feet in humble service. He broke bread with them and said it was actually himself he was sharing. Then, like a man who knew that the end was near, he gave them his final teaching (instructions) and his commandment of Love (mandatum, that is why this day is also known as Maundy Thursday).

“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”

Yet over all the event hang the pending betrayal by Judas, the denial by Peter, the desertion by all the apostles except for perhaps the beloved disciple. I imagine myself being with the twelve. I would have been moved by such manifestation of love from my Lord and Teacher. I would have been inspired by his last discourse. I would have taken his mandatum to heart and memorized it instantly. But I would also have been totally confused and disturbed by what was happening. A betrayal? By whom? Denial by impetuous Peter? And when the chips fell where they did, would I have also deserted him along with the rest? The stakes were getting to high and too dangerous.

Today, we celebrate this bitter-sweet, clear-confused Last Supper with the Lord.

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