I Will Follow You

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As they were proceeding on their journey someone said to him, “I will follow you wherever you go.” 
Jesus answered him,“Foxes have dens and birds of the sky have nests, but the Son of Man has nowhere to rest his head.”
And to another he said, “Follow me.” 
But he replied, “Lord, let me go first and bury my father.”  But he answered him, “Let the dead bury their dead.  But you, go and proclaim the kingdom of God.” 
And another said, “I will follow you, Lord,
but first let me say farewell to my family at home.” 
To him Jesus said, “No one who sets a hand to the plow and looks to what was left behind is fit for the kingdom of God.”

“I will follow you.”
I remember saying those words at the tender age of ten when Fr. Lagerway, a Sacred Heart Missionary came to give a vocation talk to our Grade Six class. I was one of a handful who raised their hands when he asked who would want to enter the seminary. He had described what it meant following the call of Christ by entering the seminary, including the plan of building a swimming pool in their then new seminary in Angeles City.

And sixty years later, I am still trying to follow Christ. There have been times I felt so inspired in following Christ that I wanted to change the world for him, even willing to lay down my life for His Kingdom. There were also times when I felt like giving up, or like not sure I was doing the right thing, or like it is not worth all the efforts and difficulties. Even now, there are still times I wonder what it really means to follow Christ, or how to do it, or even why do it all.

I did enter the seminary but did not make it to the priesthood. But much of who I am today, I owe to my seminary formation. For which, I am deeply grateful.

I have married a most wonderful woman, who brought out the best in me. Her simple and deep spirituality puts me to shame with her steadfast faith and unwavering love. I have spent more years with her than with anyone else and I would have it no other way.  She affirmed strengthened my desire and decision to follow Christ. Even now, as we are into our senior years, she keeps me along the path to Christ. The path has not always been straight nor easy. But together, we have been faithful followers of Christ.

We have three sons and somehow I see in them the path we have chosen. They live and believe the same values and principles we have lived by. They are good, giving, forgiving and, most of all, loving. We raised them in a home where Christ is alive and I would like to believe they are also followers of Christ, a decision they have made at one time in their growing up years with us.

 

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The Stories That We Tell

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String words together and a story is told.
People always love a good story.
A good story must have conflict and an end.
Complications, difficulties and problems are the conflicts that drive the action.
It is the quest for solutions or resolutions that makes a story worth telling.
Life itself would be meaningless if it had no end.
For the end is the denouement where everything unravels
and things become clear and make sense.
I love good stories.
And I am striving to learn how to gracefully handle conflicts and endings .
In modern-day storytelling (i.e. the movies),
a good movie often leads to sequels and even prequels.
Humans that we are, we seek to know and understand our origins and final destination.

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It’s Only Words

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I have always been fascinated by words.
I enjoy reading them and I just love writing them.
When I am happy I turn to words to express my happiness.
When I am sad and down, I turn to words to lift up my flagging spirit.
And yet words cannot just stay as words.
Just as the Word became flesh,
my words should also become incarnated into action.
The faith that I profess and proclaim in words
must be manifest in my deeds and actions
– a faith that does justice in love.
This is a constant theme in a life in the Spirit:

Just as the body is dead without breath,
so also faith is dead without good works.
~St.James

If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels,
but didn’t love others,
I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.
~St. Paul

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Cheap Grace

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I follow Christ because of his Gospel of joy, love and forgiveness.
It is sad and ironic that so many wars and acts of violence,
so much inquisition and persecutions,
the subjugation and domination of peoples,
so much pain and suffering have been wrongfully committed in his name.

Today, there is a more pernicious distortion of the Gospel of Christ.
It is the gospel of prosperity that preaches cheap grace.
Bonhoeffer defined cheap grace as “the preaching of forgiveness without requiring repentance, baptism without church discipline. Communion without confession. Cheap grace is grace without discipleship, grace without the cross, grace without Jesus Christ.”
Wealth, prosperity, and material comforts are seen as the blessings of discipleship.

These inhumanities done in the name of the Gospel and these distortions of the Gospel
are reasons many people would say these cannot be the work of God.
And yet Christianity persists, for the most part and pretty much consistently a force for good and happiness in the world.

I realize that the power of Christ’s Gospel is its being lived out
in the hearts and homes of ordinary people,
not in mansions of affluence nor along corridors of power.
It is when two or three are gathered in his name and break bread and share lives
that Christ’s Gospel of joy, love and forgiveness truly comes alive.

Jesus said to his disciples:
“Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’
will enter the Kingdom of heaven,
but only the one who does the will of my Father in heaven.”

 

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Some Covey Insights

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I have learned a lot from Covey and his books and his workshops.
He popularized the word ‘proactivity’,
the ability to put a space between the stimulus and my response to situations.
In talking about proactivity, he explains that the reactive person always sees problems as being out there: “When we see the problem as being out there, that is the problem.”
People tend to project their weakness, faults and failures to others.
In fact, I notice that the things I find critical and reprehensible in others are the very things that I find most undesirable and hateful in myself.
When I accuse or label others, I am also passing judgement over myself.

When we judged and label others,
there is also the chilling reality of self-fulfilling prophecy.
We become what others thing we are.
Others become what we think they are.
We only need to look around to see how dirty talk lead to a dirty society.
Or notice how people become their best selves when we think highly of them.

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Birthdays and New Life

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I celebrated my seven decades of a grace-filled life yesterday. And my youngest just reminded me that in those seven decades I have been responsible for seven new lives coming into the world. Sevenfold blessings for my seven decades of life. And I just  love this collage of the three beautiful princesses in my life today.

The birth of a child has always been seen as a blessing, a gift from heaven. I love the fresh, soft touch of a baby. I love the tenderness I feel when I hold on of these angels in my arms. I love their heavenly scent, that mint-fresh smell straight from their source. I can spend hours just holding one in my arms. And talking with a baby is among the most inspiring conversations I can imagine.

It is a very sad commentary on our society today that in many places and in many instances children born today are seen as a burden, as a problem. I share the anxiety of many over unplanned and even unwanted pregnancies. But to tolerate or even encourage the killing of unborn children is plain and simple murder. That there is life on earth is an awesome reality. That we should deliberately snuff out this life is a real tragedy.

Every baby born is an affirmation of worth and value from our Source and Creator.

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My Seventy Years

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So yesterday was a landmark birthday, my 70th. It was spent in the loving company of family. At the end of the day, Msgr. Pagulayan, whom we endearingly call Peggy, came and gave us this most beautiful present. It is a print of Murillo’s Holy Family in Nazareth. Monsignor Peggy says that he thinks of our family whenever he sees this painting, which he brought home from his visit at the Prado Museum in Spain.

Peggy was the officiating priest at our wedding. He has been most religious in greeting us on our wedding anniversary. He has never forgotten. Not once. I often kid him, “Do you remember it is our anniversary because it is Nora Aunor’s birthday? Or, you know it is Nora’s birthday because it is our anniversary.

Ours has been a most blessed marriage. We have had our own share of trials and troubles. But still in all, we have been richly blessed like the Holy Family in Nazareth. We have been blessed not by one son but three wonderful boys, now men, who have given undreamt of life and color to our marriage. Knowing how weak and flawed and fragile we both are, Anabelle and I that the blessings of our marriage and family are totally undeserved. If our efforts were the only inputs, there is no way we could have expected the kind of outputs we have achieved. The only other input that made all of these possible is God’s grace, which has been poured on us so abundantly through no merit of our own but most probably through the prayers of friends like Monsignor Peggy.

Indeed he is one of several religious-friends who I believed have been praying unceasingly for Anabelle and me and our family. Aside from Peggy, I remember . . . .

Sr. Mary Angeline. Tessa was a dear friend from Xavier School. She died a few ago in the odor of her sanctity. She was a living saint and I know we were constantly in her prayers.

Brother Louis Tremblay. Anabelle was one of her favorites in Xavier School. Because Anabelle loved me, Brother Tremblay also loved me. He is so much like Saint Joseph. He shows his sanctity through the physical and manual labor he doesm in which he excels.

Fr. Terry Katigbak. He did not let go and set forth on his eternal voyage until Anabelle came to visit him. On his desk, when he was assigned in Sacred Heart School in Cebu, was just one favorite photo on display. It was the picture of our family. I loved to imagine we were also always in his prayers.

Fr. Carlos Abesamis. He taught me about real prayer. He was a consistent presence in our family. he’d be gone for long periods but he would always show up consistently. He prays deeps and I am sure we were also always in his prayers.

Sr. Mary Cordis. Bebet is a dear friend who is a pink sister. I used to jokingly tell others that she entered the nunnery because I married Anabelle. But cloistered as she is, she is attuned to what is happening in the world. I know in my heart that we are also constantly in her prayers.

Sr. Bubbles Bandojo. She is one sister that our sons were very close to growing up. She used to teach with Anabelle in the Ateneo Grade School. When she entered the Cenacle, our family remained close to her so that when we were living near their community, we always joined them for their Christmas and Easter vigils.

Sr. Cora Dangalio. The self-proclimed Tita-madre of my sons. She would sneak into out condo in Xavierville to pray over the then baby Macky. And what a fine man he has turned out to be.

Thank you for life.
Thank you for the 70 years.
Thank you for love.
Thank you for family.
Thank you for friends.
Thank you for the prayers.

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Taken, Blessed, Broken, Given

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Then taking the five loaves and the two fish,
and looking up to heaven,
he said the blessing over them, broke them,
and gave them to the disciples to set before the crowd.
They all ate and were satisfied.

Often, we look at blessings as the reward for our struggles, the end of a journey, the answer to our prayers. In fact, we live life always looking to our rewards and blessings at the end so that blessings are seen as the end of life instead of seen life as the blessing itself.

But God does not give me his blessings at the end of life. He gives me his blessings in the beginning for life is the greatest blessing itself. He takes me. He calls me. He chooses me and says, “You are mine.” And then he blesses me. He anoints my head with oil and declares, “You are my beloved.”

Then, he breaks me – to pieces, into parts. Not to destroy or end me. But to put me back together into a new creation, a newer and better version. But more importantly, to be given away. Broken, there are more of me to be shared and given away. Like seeds that are scattered, strewn, sowed.

Christ was taken by the Father and blessed, “You are my beloved son.” Then, he was broken on the cross. Then he was given back to us in glory. In a similar way, we are chosen and called. Then we are blessed. To be broken. And then to be sent and given away.

Blessings are given not as rewards in the end. But blessings are given in the beginning to show and prove our beloved-ness, to fortify us for the brokenness and the giving away. Consider the beatitudes.

Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Who gives us a better glimpse of heaven? The poor struggling through their poverty or the rich wallowing in their lucre?

Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy. Who brings more joys and blessings to others? The merciful or the merciless?

Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God. Who shows us that there is God? Those who bind the wounds of war or those who wage it?

This is the life that God has given us: he takes us; he blesses us; he breaks us; and then he gives us to our brothers and sisters.

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My Here and Now

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Learn from the way the wild flowers grow.
They do not work or spin.
But I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor
was clothed like one of them.
If God so clothes the grass of the field,
which grows today and is thrown into the oven tomorrow,
will he not much more provide for you, O you of little faith?

Because I exist, anything and everything is possible.
Because I am alive, my now is truly the only moment I have.
I have my past but it gone and lives only in my memories.
There are good memories, for which I am grateful.
There are also bad memories, whose lessons i will remember.
I have a future, to which I look forward with hope.
But the future I hope to have, I can only create in my present moment.
I live in the present moment and it is in the present that build, create and act and do.

I also am truly present only in my present location, my here.
I can be in many other places vicariously or through technology.
Likewise, I can be in another place somewhere in the past or even the future.
I may want to be with the protesters in HongKong and share their commitment;
or I may want to be in Toronto to feel the excitement of a championship;
or I may want to be in San Jose or Oxford to care for Ela or Maia.
But it is only in my here that I can act efficaciously.
I am here and here I will bloom.
It is only here that I can build.
It is only here that I can make my contribution and make a difference.

I am an immortal being.
I have an eternal soul.
Yet, it is in my here and now
that I truly have my whole.

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The Real Treasure

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Sailing on San Francisco Bay

The great savant Carl Sagan once remarked that it is the height of self-conceit for man
to believe that he and the earth he lives in is the center of the universe.
Indeed, in the vastness and grandeur of the universe,
with its exploding stars and expanding galaxies,
the earth is but ‘a pale blue dot’ (Sagan’s own description).

Man will always be wondering about his origins and the meaning of his being here. Every generation has tried and has come up with its own answer to such questions.
In today’s highly scientific and technology-driven world,
it would indeed be the height of folly for a man to reveal and proclaim
that cause and origin of everything we see (including what we do not see but is)
is a person who loves us and relates to us very much like a father would to his children.
I find that incredibly amazing.
And I believe.

Everyone seeks and wants to have some wealth, some power, some fame.
Some have these more than others; a few have these than anyone of us can imagine.
Yet, there is only one treasure worth wanting and worth keeping – life itself.
Life that we have received unmerited and unconditionally
from the same source as the universe we live in.
Without life, no amount of wealth, power and fame would mean anything.
With life, we have everything we need and everything we have is a treasure.

Jesus said to his disciples:
“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth,
where moth and decay destroy, and thieves break in and steal.
But store up treasures in heaven,
where neither moth nor decay destroys, nor thieves break in and steal.
For where your treasure is, there also will your heart be.

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