Who Am I?

Who am I? Really?

Sometime ago, I wrote this in answer to that question:

“As I think of the defining moments in my life,
I realize that I can never fully define myself
except in relationships with others.
One person leaves my life and my life is never the same again.
Another person comes and my life is the richer for it.
People come and go in my life:
some fleeting, others lingering and still others staying for a good while.
And because of my encounter with them,
I am never the same person I was before I met them.
Sometimes, my life seems like a tangled web of relationships.
At other times, it is a rich tapestry of bright, beautifully colored relationships.
The currency of relationships is not money nor material goods
but the time we spent and invest in such relationships
and the trust that we are able to build and gather in them.
I see people who have so much money and material possessions
that they don’t have time for others.
These people often are sad because of sorry or soured relationships.
There others I know who are detached from money and material goods,
they can easily find the time to spend with others.
These people have happy relationships.”

These days I find myself answering this question differently.
Who am I really when I am alone, when I am by myself.
When I am by myself, do I like the person I am with?
When I am alone, can I stand myself?
And when there is nobody else with me,
who or what am I left with?
I still appreciate the value and importance of relationships.
At this stage of my life, I need others more than ever.
And yet, I often find myself thinking,
“If I were to live life all by my lonesome, will I survive?”
And that is when I come in touch with my innermost core.
It is also then that I realize again that I am never alone.
There is an abiding Presence with me and I am never really alone.
That Presence has always been there from the very beginning till the very end.
Then I am at peace with myself and all my relationships.
I am home.