Making Sense of it All

There are many things I do not understand. There are many things that do not make sense to me. Over the years, I have found answers to some on my questions. But there are many more left unanswered. I guess part of being human is living with mystery and unanswered questions. Over the years too, some things eventually make sense for me, often only after a lot of struggles and a big dose of faith. The world is too big for me to fully comprehend. But my God is bigger than the world. Through my faith in Him and His Word, I can make sense of pretty much what I go through.

In a little corner in the Indian sub-continent, in the region of Kerala, there thrives a community of Christians that trace their faith all the way back to St. Thomas the Apostle. These Saint Thomas Christians lived the Gospel message cut from the mainstream Christian communities in the West and the Eastern Churches. The story of  their faith is truly moving and inspiring.

The expression ‘Doubting Thomas’ derives from St. Thomas he Apostle. For him, the resurrection did not make sense. “Unless I see, I will not believe.” he declared after the other disciples told him that Christ has risen from the dead. Today, many still think like him – to see is to believe. I am sure he also had a lot of questions to ask Jesus. But when he encountered the Risen Christ, he forgot about all his questions and simply knelt down in humble prayer and exclaimed “My Lord and my God.” With his faith bolstered by this encounter, he realized that to believe is to see.

Today, I read the story of a mother who had a gay son. For the longest time, she lived her life out of fear for her son, wishing him to be somebody else other than who he is, wishing for him to become straight, for him not to have a boyfriend, for him not to tell people about his sexual orientation, for him to choose between God (and be lonely and alone) and his sexuality (and live in sin). She eventually learned to learn to live her life in faith and to accept her son for who he is, only to lose him prematurely to drugs. In faith, she learned what it meant to love unconditionally. She still has no answer why her son turned out gay but she definitely now knows how to love more deeply. Despite the fact that there are still many questions in her life, her faith has helped her make sense of what has happened to her.

Although the doors were shut, Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you.” Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here and see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it in my side. Do not doubt but believe.” Thomas answered him, “My Lord and my God!” Jesus said to him, “Have you believed because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have come to believe.”
John 20:24-29