Generosity And Pain

I became very selfish and self-preoccupied in my pain. I became fixated on my suffering and on my needs. I became very grasping and wanting things for myself, done my way and in my time. I wanted God to do something special for me. I wanted people to fuss and fawn around me. I expected them to stop what they are doing and pay me extra attention. And when I did not get what I wanted, I asked “Why?” thinking my expectations were part of my pain, not realizing that my self-centeredness was only making my agony more acute.

In contrast, I saw Crystal so giving and so generous even as she ached in all her body during the throes of her last moments of life. She has a smile for everyone. You can see she was in pain but she did not make herself a burden to others. In the end, she was a liberating presence to many even as she left us with her absence.

People were sad that she was gone but they were all touched by her courage, strength and magnanimity of spirit. She left us with sadness but even more she left us with many beautiful memories. In addition of the memories, she taught us lessons on how to be a noble human person even in the face of suffering, how to live life to the fullest even when it is taken away too early, how to give and still be generous even one is breathing one’s final ones, how to be happy and at peace even if life does not turn out the way we planned it.

Pain can break a person or it can be a liberating experience, depending on whether one faces it with selfishness or with generosity.


This entry was posted in Character, Death, Generosity, Spirituality and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

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