Musings on Fathers’ Day

ImageThe curfew tolls the knell of parting day,
The lowing herd wind slowly o’er the lea
The plowman homeward plods his weary way,
And leaves the world to darkness and to me.
Thomas Grey

One of the joys of coming home is the sharing of stories, laughter and loud talk. But I also love the coming of the evening during such togetherness when things start to settle down, the noise and the banter comes down to quiet and the house becomes silent. For it is then that I truly feel the presence of my loved ones. We may by now have taken each our corner of the house, settled into a chair or snuggled into bed or just gazing lazily into vacant space. No words are spoken. But the peace and quiet speaks tons. We are home, basking in each others quiet presence.

Tatang was not as loquacious as Ima. He had his stories but they are told in the fewest words possible, not with all the drama Ima was capable of. I know he took great pride in the accomplishments of his children. He never said as much but I could tell by that distinctive twinkle in his eyes, as when he looked at me walk up the stage to bet my medals or when I would bring to him my own sons. I know I have many failings and shortcomings in my relationship with him. I have disappointed him often. But he has responded only with love and forgiveness, not spoken in words but expressed by his unfailing care and concern. I have wandered far and wide. He gave me my wings to fly. He never preached to us, as Ima did. He simply showed me how to dream and make those dreams reality. He was the only one in his family to go to college. This inspired many of his nephews and nieces to do the same. In his youth, he joined the thin ranks of teachers after the war to teach the young. I still like to believe that he contributed immensely to the education of many Kapampangan carpenters. In ways quiet and unspoken, I am a lifelong teacher because of him. During all my wanderings and flights, I always knew he would always be home waiting for me. Before being a role model and an anchor through life’s changing fortunes, being a father is first of all about being around and being present.

A love that never fails to forgive builds a home where young ones can grow roots. A love that never fails to inspire grows wings in the young ones for them to fly. Great fathers give their children but roots and wings. Tatang gave me both. I pray I am able to give these too to my sons and their children.

Jesus spoke up and said to him, ‘Simon, I have something to say to you.’ ‘Teacher,’ he replied, ‘speak.’ ‘A certain creditor had two debtors; one owed five hundred denarii, and the other fifty. When they could not pay, he cancelled the debts for both of them. Now which of them will love him more?’ Simon answered, ‘I suppose the one for whom he cancelled the greater debt.’ And Jesus said to him, ‘You have judged rightly.’
Luke 7:36-50

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