“What are you looking for?”
Jesus asked the two followers of John.
What I am looking has many and different names:
happiness, success, eternal life, salvation,
meaning, significance, contribution, fulfillment.
I realize is there are a lot of gaps in me,
a lot missing in my life,
an emptiness that cries for fulfillment,
a shortage that hungers for fullness,
an absence that earnestly yearns for a certain presence.
There are many things I don’t understand.
There are many things I think I need.
There are many dreams I long for.
Whoever brought me here must have kept a vital part of me
that keeps me looking and searching until I come upon him
who has this missing part.
Saint Augustine, the great Father of the Church and also a big-time sinner,
expressed this angst that he also felt,
“You have made us for yourself, O Lord,
and our heart is restless until it finds its rest in thee.”
Then and only then, can I become complete and fulfilled.
And so I am restless until I fully encounter the Lord of the Gaps
and he gives me back my missing part to fill in the gaping emptiness in me.