I know that I am weak. I am often wrong and I stumble. I know I am always in need of mercy and forgiveness. I am not a big time sinner like a crook or a murderer or an adulterer. Maybe because even there I am too much of a coward to do my sins big time. So, I entertain the evil thoughts in the secrecy and privacy of my mind or do my evil deeds on the sly. That makes me a sneaky scoundrel and even more deplorable. Yet, God is always there ready to give me his pardon and forgiveness. All I have to do is ask.
Even as He is always ready to love and forgive, God does not tolerate my wickedness and the evil in me. Instead, He constantly challenges me to overcome my weakness and corruption, my iniquity. He knows my evil thoughts and he tells me these are just as reprehensible as actual deeds. He knows my evil tendencies. He tells me to cut these off rather than my whole person being corrupted because of them. In fact, He asks me to grow from merely avoiding sin to actually doing good.
In my heart of hearts, I know I can do and be better than what I am now. I see good things. And with God, I can make them better. I seek the truth. And with God, I will know all the truths in my life. I love what is beautiful. And with God, he makes all things beautiful. Even in my weakness and sinfulness, God gives me a glimpse, a glance of the fullness, the goodness and the utter beauty of the life that is yet to come.
Hear, O LORD, the sound of my call; of you my heart speaks; you my glance seeks.
Jesus said to his disciples:
“You have heard that it was said, You shall not commit adultery.
But I say to you, everyone who looks at a woman with lust
has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away.
It is better for you to lose one of your members
than to have your whole body thrown into Gehenna.”
Matthew 5:27-30