God must often be amazed by my lack of faith as Jesus was by the people from His own hometown. They questioned where he got His power and His wisdom, how He is able to do His mighty deeds, how this is all possible since He is just a carpenter. I also ask similar questions. I have a tendency to make my faith conditional. Like, I will believe if my dreams come true. Or, I will believe if my prayers are answered. Or, I will believe if I get what I want.
God created me as a consciousness with the power of reason. He also gave me a will that gives me freedom and enables me to make choices. He wants my faith in Him to be a conscious choice. I am not driven purely by instincts that I do only what I have been programmed to do. God invites me to a relationship where He makes the first move but I need to respond in freedom to complete that relationship.
Fides quaerens intellectum – Faith seeking understanding. Faith and reason are both gifts of God to me. They cannot be contradictory nor in opposition to each other. My faith is not a blind acceptance of God in my life but an experience that makes sense and stands to reason. There are times and moments of questions. Just as there are many moments of doubts and uncertainties. But if I seek (quaerens), it will all be made clear to me in due time.
“Lord, please be patient with my doubts and questions. It is just taking me time to clearly hear and fully understand your Word and your works in my life.”
When the sabbath came he began to teach in the synagogue,
and many who heard him were astonished.
They said, “Where did this man get all this?
What kind of wisdom has been given him?
What mighty deeds are wrought by his hands!
Is he not the carpenter, the son of Mary,
and the brother of James and Joseph and Judas and Simon?
And are not his sisters here with us?”
And they took offense at him.
Jesus said to them,
“A prophet is not without honor except in his native place
and among his own kin and in his own house.”
So he was not able to perform any mighty deed there,
apart from curing a few sick people by laying his hands on them.
He was amazed at their lack of faith.
Mark 6:1-6