My Spiritual Journey and Journal

Jesus said to them,
“Do you believe that I can do this?”
“Yes, Lord,” they said to him.
Then he touched their eyes and said,
“Let it be done for you according to your faith.”
And their eyes were opened.
~Matthew 9:27-31

Today marks the fourth year of Spirit Moments. I am thankful for the grace of spending moments with God, with myself and with the rest of God’s creation. Here, I have encountered God daily, ever aware of His Presence and Action in my life. Here, I have come to know myself better, sometimes through the pain of my failures and other times through the joys of my accomplishments and often through the power of God’s Word.

These have been four years of spiritual discipline. There have been moments when I had to force myself to come to my Sacred Space. But often, I could not start the day without spending time here. There may be times when I could not write down my reflections but I always wanted my moments of silence and solitude to start my day. There are some gaps in my journalling. These were moments when I was struggling. This was specially true when I had my surgery. I thought these were moments of doubts – about my Faith, about God and His love for me. I realize now that these were moments, not of doubt but of difficulties.

I recently came across this quote from Blessed John Henry Newman, “Ten thousand difficulties do not make one doubt.”  Even during my darkest moments after my surgery, I did find myself still talking to God, asking where He was when I was in great pain and moaning why He is allowing me to suffer and complaining why He is leaving me all alone and if he is even listening to me. He was silent. But I must have known He was around for I kept talking to Him. I was going through some difficulties but not doubts.

Today, I celebrate the four years of this spiritual journal and journey with humility and gratitude. And I pray:

The LORD is my light and my salvation;
whom should I fear?
The LORD is my life’s refuge;
of whom should I be afraid?
One thing I ask of the LORD;
this I seek:
To dwell in the house of the LORD
all the days of my life,
That I may gaze on the loveliness of the LORD
and contemplate his temple.
I believe that I shall see the bounty of the LORD
in the land of the living.
Wait for the LORD with courage;
be stouthearted, and wait for the LORD.

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