Life has not always given me instructions in the words I understand or expect. In other words, there have been a lot of miscues and missed meanings in my life. There were instances others have invited me into an intimate and deep relationship but I missed their meaning and intent. I thought it was just a conversation. There were occasions others challenged or offered me an exciting career path or a rewarding opportunity and I thought we were just shooting the breeze. Missed cues and miscues. Missed opportunities.
And it gets worse. As I age, I miss more words, more sentences and more meanings in my conversations and interactions. It gets to be very frustrating and I often keep to myself to avoid the miscues and misunderstandings.
What worries me is that I may also be experiencing these miscues and missed meanings in my spiritual life. The Lord might be telling me something and I totally miss it or misunderstand it. I might think I am doing God’s will for me but I might just be indulging my vanity or pride. I might imagine I am doing good but I could just very well offending people and antagonizing those around me.
My prayer time has been my refuge. I keep still. And in the stillness, just listen and be filled with God’s Presence. And I entrust everything to the Lord.
In every age, O Lord, you have been our refuge.