I see myself as a forgiving person, easily forgetting the wrongs that have been done to me by others. Given time, I can even be friends again even with people who have hurt me very deeply. But I am also a very imaginative person with a rather retentive memory. There are times when I can’t help myself but relive some of the hurts inflicted on me by others. And I can literally feel all that vile and vitriol welling up again within me. And old wounds open up and the pain all comes back. From such experiences, I get to understand how such repressed feelings can indeed lead to some forms of cancer or other psychosomatic illnesses. I also begin to understand why the act of forgiveness is a Christian virtue, the necessary companion of love.
I see my self as a sensitive person, usually aware of the feelings and hurts in other people. But there are times, I can be so dense and insensitive that I am not aware that I have already caused hurt and pain in others. I would know subsequently through others or through later reflection that I have wronged another person. And the worse thing is that pride would come in and asking for forgiveness becomes very difficult for me. From such experiences, I get to understand how people would think of me as a mean and uncaring person. I also begin to understand why humility is a Christian virtue, also a necessary companion to love.
I pray for courage and strength to forgive others, including myself, for the wrongs I have done. I pray for humility to be able to ask for forgiveness from those I have wronged.
“For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you; but if you do not forgive others, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” Matthew 6:7-15