Straining Towards the Light

As my age advances, I feel a general and gradual fading of my senses. I have to strain my eyes to see better or to strain my ears to hear what is being said to me. I used to have a sharp sense of smell. I could catch a whiff of even the faintest aroma. So, I slow down; otherwise I miss much of what is happening around me. And in slowing down, I discover nuances and subtleties in people and in the things around me, which I have taken for granted or overlooked in the hustle and bustle of my daily busy-ness.

Like, light is not just what I need to see. Light is also the new day, another gift given to me. Light is the shining of hope after a bout with darkness. As the light around me seems to be fading, there is this internal force and energy within me that tells me to go towards the light.

I have always tried to be good and to do that which I understood to be the good and right thing to do. Yet, I know I have not been entirely successful in this effort. There is a lot in me that still needs changing and I sometimes panic as I feel time running out. I feel like raging against the coming of the night. I find and draw comfort that God does not condemn. He gives light and sets thing aright. In His time, everything gets done and it gets done correctly, in the proper way and in the proper time.

Christ consorted with sinners, prostitutes, the poor, the outcast, the abandoned and those condemned by society. He did not condemn but only had words of comfort and forgiveness for them. I count myself among them, knowing all my weaknesses and failings.

O God, let all the nations praise you!

~ Psalm 67

Jesus cried out and said,
“Whoever believes in me believes not only in me
but also in the one who sent me,
and whoever sees me sees the one who sent me.
I came into the world as light,
so that everyone who believes in me might not remain in darkness.
And if anyone hears my words and does not observe them,
I do not condemn him,
for I did not come to condemn the world but to save the world.
Whoever rejects me and does not accept my words
has something to judge him: the word that I spoke,
it will condemn him on the last day,
because I did not speak on my own,
but the Father who sent me commanded me what to say and speak.
And I know that his commandment is eternal life.
So what I say, I say as the Father told me.”
John 12:44-50

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